like bifocals for the eyes, except these are for the ears.........

I do not know why this is, but lately, and almost every time I brush my teeth...my idiot tooth brush brushes past my teeth and up into my gum area harshly. Freakin it hurts! I mean I am just brushing along and WHAM!

My tooth brush is slamming against my top teeth gum line violently.

It always takes me by surprise cause who expects that to happen while brushing? Especially if one has just done this two or three times before and is trying to make a conscious effort to not do it.

It's like my toothbrush has acquired a persona of it's own and has a vendetta against me for ramming him down my throat in a gag session or something.

See it: Evil Toothbrush Scratches Womans Gums Off In Vengeance!

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CB- Mom, I want a chocolate pickle.

A- What?

CB- I want a chocolate pickle.

A- I don't know what a chocolate pickle is CB, can you show me?

...goes to fridge and shows me Popsicles.

He wants a Popsicle.

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Last night D and I were having a conversation about someone, we'll call Rudy for today, who has a terrible problem walking off when others are speaking. Rudy will ask a question, then in complete rudeness turn and walk away while you are answering. It irritates the crap out of me.

It's as if Rudy doesn't really care what answer you give, Rudy is through with the conversation.....walk away. RUDE!

So D was relaying to me that Rudy had committed this foul action against someone other than he and I. D and I used to think this person just had a lot on their mind and didn't realize they were doing this rude action and wrote it off as, "needs help with people skills"...and just took it for what it was. We have since come to understand this action is all by itself simple rudeness. D and I try not to engage in long conversation with Rudy, cause Rudy's action....irritates the crap out us.

So Rudy committed this action against another. We'll call this person Newsome for today.

Newsome tells D that she believes Rudy may have a hearing problem.

D tells me he thinks to himself......"Uh no. Rudy doesn't have a hearing problem. He has a listening problem. He doesn't need a hearing aid, he needs a listening aid..."

I thought that was very clever. In my opinion Rudy does need a listening aid, turned up on the highest volume.

In fact, I would like to purchase one for D and my children too....and my mother... who needs a listening aid for one ear and a hearing aid for the other........like bifocals for the eyes, except these are for the ears.

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D made this awesome salad for himself on Sunday. He proceeded to come into the bedroom to show off this magnificent prize while I was checking email on the computer.

I am like, what?! You know sandwiches and salads are my thing. I dang take pictures of that kind of stuff. I still have this awesome picture of my blueberry stuffed french toast from Mimi's Cafe almost a year ago, on my cell phone screen.

Instantly D sees my wanting and thinks to bolt while he can with his beautiful salad. He knows he has made a huge mistake. So he offers to give me half.

I feel guilty, a little.......not really....and tell him no way it's his salad to go ahead and eat it, I am not hungry anyway. This is a tad true but not fully. The minute I saw the salad my stomach became engaged in my thought process and though I felt no hunger pains physically, I felt them mentally and was hungry.

So back and forth we go about whether he should give me half of his salad. He does give me half. I skip happily into the kitchen and put this awesome Naturally Fresh honey mustard dressing on it. Just enough to give it zing but not to over power all the other flavors and so forth. My insides are so happy when I plop down beside D on the living room couch to eat his salad up.

I am in my own personal heaven floating on my salad cloud with singing harps, furry bunnies and rainbows.........(insert record scratching)

My dog is giving me tender puppy eyes....for my salad....like I would ever give her lettuce anyway.

I am all, "Forget it Jenny. I don't care how cute you are. Tender puppy eyes aren't gonna work for you this time. I will never give you this delicious salad."

D - Yeah, well now you know how I feel......but I caved.