Monday, August 16, 2010

You had a little run in with the car today huh?

CB-(whining)uuuuuuuuuuuuu I am so bored.....

A- Well, don't look at me. I'm not the dog and pony show, go outside.

CB- No it's too hot and you won't take me to Lake Fish Boobies.

A- Lake Fish Boobies? Where is that??

CB- You know where the fish tried to eat my boobies off....

A- CB, where did that happen??

CB- You know where the the big kids left me and went to the ropes and you made me play with the boy in the water fountains and his mom had brown teeth.

A- Oh you mean the county park...with the geese that chased you and when Logan was with us?

CB- Yes, I want to go there and you won't take me.

.........Lake Fish Boobies...


I stopped at a gas station on the way to the orthodontist some time back. May was the only child with me this particular morning. I got out of the car and stepped toward the passenger door. My drivers door did not shut. It just pulled closer to the vehicle.

  • I pulled my purse from the car seat in which CB would normally sit.
  • I turned to head inside.
  • I crammed my face into the verticalness of the edge of the metal car door, from my forehead to my upper lip.

Hear this. I nearly knocked myself out. I ran into it so hard. My sunglasses flew off and fell to the ground. I was seeing spots and disoriented for about 10 seconds.

May- (in front passenger seat) GOSH! MOM!(snicker) Are you okay???

A-(coming to my senses and realizing how that must have looked and sounded to her) Yes,(snickering a little myself now) oh man, I totally ran into the door.

May - You think? Are you okay? You're gonna have a bruise on your face.

I am rubbing my forehead and trying to figure out how this happened and my head is seriously swelling up vertically, matching up with my car door.

I begin to make light of the situation with Maysie, while she is reliving how it appeared from her perspective. I have to laugh at myself cause the whole situation is retarded.

I shut the car door. I properly make sure I am aligned correctly with the pavement and curb for walking, I head into the gas station store.

This skinny Indian fellow with a lot of puffy black hair.....

I don't mean like a Navajo or Cherokee a real Indian fellow, whose wife may have a red dot on her forehead....well, if he had a wife and all.... smiling his straight white teeth at me very big.

Indian fellow - Are you okay Miss? You had a little run in with the car today huh? You did not see the car door, yes Miss?

A-(snickering again, cause I'm an idiot and busted by the gas station dude) Yes, WOW... Dude, I totally almost knocked myself out. I mean fer real. I saw some dots and the whole works...and look at my forehead. I got a vertical bruise showin out already all up on my face.

Indian man - (still showing me his really big smiley teeth) oooohh yes, I do see that. It will be a shiner....... how to explain that one my friend. Yes I saw you stumble around and your glasses were flying off of your face. Yes, it appears a full spilt down the middle Miss. Would you like to buy new sunglasses? (Gesturing toward gas station sunglasses.) is clear he has enjoyed my folly way too much. I pay for my stuff and turn to head out.

A- Negative. I don't want anymore sunglasses. Apparently I need some prescription glasses do you have any of those?

Indian man - Yes Miss, have a nice day today. Watch that vehicle door today, the driver's side is out to get you for sure....(still smiling showing me all his teeth)

A- Yes, I will.....

....back at the car, where May has been waiting for me.....

M- Yeah... the gas station guy totally saw you bust it. That's hilarious.

A- Shut up May.

This was before it turned blue....and then green & yellow....


While in the mountains CB is laying with me on the couch.......STILL sucking his thumb.

A- You know if you don't quit sucking yer thumb all the green scooters will be gone. You'll have to get another color.

CB- No I won't. What's that fat guys name? The one at Christmas....

A- Santa Claus?

CB- Yeah, him. I'll just ask him to bring it. His people can make it.

I push him off the couch.

CB - What???


Linear Heritage of Women said...

I have run into my car before, too. You're not the only one that has been injured that way! :)

Anonymous said...

ouch....that looks like it really hurt...but it is so funny to hear(read) you tell it!!

thanks for the laugh-Jody