Friday, August 20, 2010

Yer skull monkeys must be cannibals........

Last night I was reading to Sky before bed.

I don't care what book I am reading ALL of my kids want to be present. I could be reading something like Little Danny Loves Dinosaurs or How To Resolve Mechanical Maneuvers That Require Numerous Maniacal Procedures .

They want to hear it.

I was reading My Dumb Diary, Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jim Benton. It's main character is a crazy comical middle school girl. The book is pretty funny to me, and so are the pictures.

So the main character is going on about how her best friend is not so brainy and says something like this,
"...if brains were bananas, let's just say that there would be a lot of skinny monkeys scraping around the inside of Isabella's skull."

With this statement is a picture of Einstein's skull monkey who is fat as a tater in a bikini standing next to Isabella's toothpick, starving skull monkey in a bikini.....the pictures are funny to me and we all giggle at them.

A- I bet my skull monkey is HOT ! Cause I am not too stupid and not too smart...though she might be cross-eyed cause I can't remember anything.

Z- Well Sky, your skull monkeys must be pretty skinny....

M - Yeah well Zac, yer skull monkeys must be freakin cannibals then.....

....we all start laughing, including Zac. He then shoves as much of his hand into his mouth as he can signaling that his skull monkeys, being so hungry and in idiocy, have begun to eat their own selves. It is hilarious.

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Yesterday May and I walk into the kitchen while CB has a friend over. They are moving in severe fast forward motion away from a kool-aid pitcher that has a handle on the top. This handle is used to mix kool-aid powder with water inside of the pitcher.

Immediately upon us entering.... the herky jerky, up and down, swooshing the sugared drink mix motion ceases.

CB says - We aren't doing anything.


(okay, Little Larry Lies a Lot)


CB & his friend look at each other cautiously.

May & I look at each other and exchange the... you so just busted yourselves... look ....

A- Cole, do you want lemonade son?

CB - ....um....(looks at his friend)Yes.

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Maysie discussing with me dissecting some crayfish in her biology class this year.

M- The book then says...and these are the crayfish testicles...I mean, do I get to wear gloves, right? Cause I could live my whole life without touching crayfish testicles....

Z hollering from another room somewhere in the house far from us - They look like noodles!!

....coming from the boy who can't hear his own self fart in the same room, but can hear a conversation about crayfish testicles from down the street.

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At the Game Haven while PJ was here.......I am having to paddle my way through Slobber River because all of the males in the store are trying to figuring out which game to purchase with their mouth in the open position.

To me this store is the equivalent of a woman in a shoe store with 100 pairs of Italian leather shoes to try on.

Sky locates a DS game called "My Stop Smoking Coach."

This is a mind boggling thing to process for May and I.

It starts this babbling, in valley girl voice overs.....

M- Oh this game was my savior. I just totally pretended to smoke my stylus pen, it was so convenient to have right there in my game system. When I couldn't get that high feeling for satisfaction, I just totally stuck my tongue on the battery charger.

A- Oh sweet. Did you totally have to go outside to the designated lick yer battery section or could you lick it the middle of a restaurant after dinner?

M- Fer sure. I so licked my battery in the restaurant....but my smoking coach totally deducted from my score.

A- W H A T E V E RRRR, that is so totally buggin.



May and I had to leave the store after that, we were about to get stupid.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you guys are too funny!!!