Gift giving wisdom?..............

Responsive reading -

Me- Hello.

Me- I am Amy.

Me- I am a recovering blog neglecter.

You - HeeeellllllllO AAAAAAAAAmmyyy

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There are some things I shouldn't talk about. Sometimes though situations end like this "....." instead of like this " . "

It's uncomfortable.

So this is what I shouldn't talk about, but I will so it can have a " . "

D posted this on his FB: "Christmas lesson #1: Never buy your wife something she says she doesn't want. Odds are she will not like it!"

This statement is true. Men should surely heed this Christmas lesson lest they get their feelings hurt a bit... or is it their pride. I guess it depends on the man. You know, whether he is in touch with his feminine side or not.

feelings = in touch

pride = not in touch

At Christmas, when you ask a woman what she wants for Christmas and she tells you point blank. That is the gift she would appreciate or her heart truly wants.

If she hem haws around and doesn't give you a direct answer... then she gets, what she gets. If she doesn't like her gift because she neglected to tell you a certain thing, it's her fault, not the males.

I have learned over the past 5 years particularly, that you must be direct with the male species. One must say exactly what they want or need. No matter how harsh it sounds to the female or other females. It has come to me that males need to have specific directions and spoken out loud. They need the female to say exactly what she wants or needs so they can do it.

I have learned that hoping that the male will understand what I mean without saying it so as not to be harsh or direct...DOES NOT work. This is not just with my husband, but with my son, my brother, salesmen, men on the phone.... all males in general that I deal with.

I have learned that generally they do not perceive this as rude. They see it as helpful (or maybe understandable) even if they are annoyed by the action required.

This Christmas I was asked what I wanted, point blank. I would normally hem haw around and then get whatever. Usually whatever is fine. But since I am being a tad more money conscious these days, I thought better to get something that would truly be used by me or others and would bring everyday pleasure.

Because even when I say, "Don't get me anything." I still get something.

So I stated a bird house or the new pink glitter TOMS. My alpha male, believes these to be not good gift ideas and buys the thing I repeatedly said I did not want.

When I opened the gift that I already knew what it was because he loves this particular gift himself (which is a fine gift for him)...I had an extremely unpleasant battle inside my body to control my emotions and make sure they came out grateful.

I did not do a good job.

I failed.

My face, eyes and lips spoke not gratitude in a very uncomfortable way. I know it was uncomfortable cause my mom chastised me later and D didn't talk to me for almost 2 days even though I apologized several times. I had it coming though so I just gave him some space to work it out. He loves me again now, which is always good.

I would like to blame it on some random hormonal madness, but truly I think it was just me, showing me. I get weary trying hard to be just the right person to all people. I unleashed my emotions on purpose. I didn't hold back the furrowed brow or fake smile or comments that should have been held for a private conversation.

I didn't spew venom or anything or get mad...I just didn't shoot fireworks out my butt on purpose. I didn't pretend to love the item or even like it....cause my insides didn't want this. I would have rather had the nothing than to have had to go through opening the thing I didn't want at all, faking gratitude, and then sending it back, which I have done already.

My mind was chain linking thoughts of, "Why ask if you don't want to know what I really want? Why waste money just to buy something? Why do I have to open it while everyone is looking at me? Don't take my picture."

Please understand I am not being rude or ugly when I write these words. I am just stating....that sometimes giving the gift is more fun to me than receiving one. Not in a cliche way either...I mean for real.

I learned this about myself this Christmas. For real, believe these words....

I don't like to receive gifts. It embarrasses me.

It makes me feel uneasy and anxious. The gift turns into a show of emotions that I may not be capable of living up to in truth.

I honestly feel like the true gifts people give me are shown to me in their actions...wrapped up in the sincerity of their eyes as it is done in love or wanting to please.

These are gifts that I feel the most thankful for and gratitude is freely and truthfully given. My heart has no boundaries for gifts given to me like this.

On my 40th b-day D gave me peace and quiet to read while he earnestly did the thing I didn't want to do...cook and clean up a delicious meal full of things that I adore. The thought he put into my b-day was a true gift. My sister gave me a day at the spa (which I haven't used yet). I loved this gift too, the reason being, she knows I never do things like this for myself. She gave it to me because she loves personal gift giving. She sent it to me in the mail, so I was able to open it in private. No one was staring at me waiting for my gratitude and fireworks. I was able to express my gratitude in words shared between only her and I. Both of those gifts meant a lot to me.

My mom cashed in her credit cards points to this year and got me a $50 Starbucks gift card out of them. I loved that too. After the present swapping was done and everyone was on their on later that morning, she gave it to me in private. I was grateful. When I hugged her it wasn't for show, I loved her and it was a gift she knew I would use.

Receiving gifts is hard for me and I generally do not prefer to receive gifts.

I would much rather pick a personal gift and give it randomly out of gratitude than to buy a gift....just to buy one. I hate that. Pondering what to get someone to the point it becomes a chore, sucks. It's not longer a gift of thought & love, but a thing to fulfill the obligation.

In this instance it is better to receive the nothing and watch the happiness of others......at least, to me anyway.

I ended up buying myself the pink glitter TOMS with Christmas money from my mom. D's mom and dad also gave me money. Later that that afternoon, after receiving the money, my car battery FINALLY put itself (and me) out of its miserable existence by dying permanently. The cost of the new battery was just a little over the amount of Christmas money that D's parents had given to me. I felt I no longer had to worry about spending the money on groceries, sports or extracurricular activities...misusing the money so to speak. I had used it on myself in a really useful way. I felt satisfied.

These words are one of my truths. I don't feel ashamed of them. I hope you will not find fault in me when my face is in your presence.

A little Nook....or two, part 1.......

I can't believe school starts back in the next two weeks. This is really our last week at home where noting HAS to be done. I am gonna try and catch up on a few things that require some real effort like putting some photos on a DVD.....UGH I hate freaking doing that.

It takes entirely tooooooo loooooonnng. If the DVD burner doesn't burn like it should, then I want to sever the head off the person who created the photo disk burner by way of flinging the disk at their neck frisbee style....really...... with a round house kick & a through the legs. Let it fly, watch the pretty colors as the disk glides right through my windows or maybe into some dry wall.

We went to Bryson City, NC this past weekend to D's parents mountain house. I LOVE THAT HOUSE. I swear I would have no problem going straight up Little House on the Prairie lifestyle if we lived in that house.

It's an A frame. This means, you get just what you need. A small master bedroom on the first floor, with a just enough room for one kitchen, a table for six to eat at, a small living room area and the first floor is done.

The second floor is a loft with 2 twins and a double all in one room.......just like little house on the prairie........except with air condition when you need it and 1 bathroom......oh yeah and some electricity.

I was relaying this to Z & M. They love the mountain house also but claimed they would die if they had to live there all the time. Yet, neither of them wanted to leave and come back here. They are certainly hung up in the entertainment part of life.....what about my friends, what about sports, what about cable TV, what about the internet, and this and what about that..... all of which had absolutely nothing to do with necessity for real happiness.

I guess I am expecting to much from them. I mean not having a TV and being forced to play games with each other, being outside with each other and having just enough so that it was never about being overstimulated or over indulged.....it was beautiful to me. I swear I could so live there, I really could. Just wipe the slate clean sell it all and start over right there in a spot where we have just what we need and each other.

....no baggage of the mind just the here and now......

We went there for May's 14th birthday on the 6th. It so happens me and D celebrate our anniversary the day after May's b-day on the 7th. So it was a cool time to go. May wanted to go tubing in Deep Creek. We hadn't done that in close to 8 years or so.

We had a ball.

It's Monday and I am still freaking sore as crap......more on that later.

I can't wait till we can all go back over again. No one wanted to leave.

So here's some stuff that happened. May made her own b-day cake, because she wanted to. She wanted to make a dairy free cake so Sky could eat the same thing all of us ate. I thought this was super considerate. I loved her for that....and obviously so did Sky who got to lick beaters and frosting spatula's.

Well, we forgot to bring candles and didn't get any when we went to the Ingles(Engles) We pronounce this grocery store as Ingles, as in no habla Ingles.

My friend Shay called it that by accident when she visited us in the south. She's fluent in Spanish. Since we have lots of Mexican folks here I guess she thought is was a shopping or Spanish market or something and asked us, "What's up with the Ingles?" no habla Ingles I had to laugh because that had never occurred to me before.

So we didn't buy candles at the Ingles. no habla Ingles

In true ghetto fashion we just made our own.

....long wooden stick matches = ghetto birthday candles



...ghetto candles make big scary flames initially, but then it goes away.

....there were two votives we could have used.....but they didn't match that good and we didn't have at least 4 of them for "14."......it's really all about the logic.

.....and all is well in the universe when you sing Happy Birthday really fast so that the ghetto candles don't burn down to the cake before one blows them out.

The dairy free cake Maysie made was awesome. The frosting was delicious and no too sweet. It was gone in two days, no lie.

So D picked out the birthday gift this year. No one knew what the gift was including me.

She got a Nook, an ereader from Barnes & Noble. It was a super nice birthday gift. I should know because he bought me one too for our 17th anniversary. May and I both love to read and these were very thoughtful gifts that we both will surely enjoy. I have mine already loaded up with a wish list to die for.

Nook = go broke if you aren't careful.

So though May has loaded one book already, she fully grasps the concept school books are on me & D. Pleasure books come out of her account....every time she hits the "buy" it swipes my card and in return I swipe money out of her account.

Here's a few other fun pics.....

This will do for today.

I'll post some tubing photos for tomorrow and a few Cole stories maybe :0)

If you buy a lottery ticket yer goin to hell........

This may burn yer eyes & make you feel uncomfortable, it will probably irritate you a bit, so consider yourself warned.

This heaviness on my heart must come out, so I can be done with it.



Our pastor preached on what a friend looks like at church this past Sunday. What you should look like and what they should look like when the word "friend" is used. Generally speaking a friend should lift you up in every way.

I can dig that.

It just got me to thinkin though. Sometimes you have a friend who doesn't do that. It isn't that they drag you down they just want to hold one to such a standard that it excludes instead of includes.

okay, stay with me....so quite a few of my friends, and I do mean friends, are church hopping. You know, checking out some other churches. Truth be told for a wide variety of reasons, not any certain one, though some would say differently.

I have this one friend who visited a church not to far from ours. The church is non denominational and their motto is something like this:

We are Christians, just not the only Christians

That really resonated with me because, presently I am a Baptist, Southern Baptist to be exact. They can be pretty exclusive from the inside out. I mean they genuinely want folks to be saved for sure, but once you have been there a while and yer serving tight neck and neck, your standard better match theirs or one might feel judged by those who need to be judged by themselves. Not necessarily at our church, cause I was a Baptist before I married D for a bit when I was younger, but I see it at ours also at times. I am pretty much right on the money with their beliefs so being a Baptist is really pretty easy for me. In my heart of hearts though I am convinced I am non denominational through and through.

**Organized religion is a hairy thing. Like we used to be Methodist. Methodist say its okay to drink wine. When we lived out west, I didn't know a single Methodist that didn't drink wine. Were they drunkards? NO! ! They were good people loving, serving, studying, and worshipping the Lord. I met some wonderful people who fed me well spiritually in the Methodist church, both in South Carolina and New Mexico. One of those Christ honoring men in New Mexico, introduced my husband to the Gideon ministry.

BUT.....if you are a Baptist by golly & you drink wine, yer goin to Hell fool! It's okay to smoke or dip a little, but do not drink the dang wine.....and whatever you do, do not buy a lottery ticket, you will go to Hell.......this is severe sarcasm of course, but this feeling is prominent.

I have done both before and my relationship with God is as strong as it ever was. Am I a drunkard? NO!! Do I gamble away our finances? NO!! God loves me just the same and he hears my prayers. His love fills me to capacity constantly. I can't breathe without Him and He lavishes me constantly for seeking Him and being obedient even when it is uncomfortable.

In some dark secret place in my mind, where no one can hear me think..... I am thankful for the lottery cause I am hoping that my kids will get help from the state of TN for college money. My sister became a nurse on the GA. lottery and I am so proud of her. My parents could have never afforded to send her to the wonderful school she got her nursing degree from. It had and still does have one of the best nursing programs in the south.

**Methodist......like to sprinkle water and call their children baptized......no baby can say with their mouth's that they know Christ and confess to the world they are sinners. John the Baptist submerged Jesus and God said it was good. Baptism by submersion makes Biblical sense every day of the week to me. Baptist submerge, I am about that. D had to be submerged to join our church. He was sprinkled as a child and so were May and Zac. Both of them had to be submerged to join also. D said he was glad he was submerged, it was special and really meant a lot to him. Like wise so did May. I made Z wait a bit even though he was saved so he could fully understand the statement he was making to the congregation. When I was confident he understood, he was submerged. Baptism is a statement that you are born again in Christ and it is not a task to be completed to get into heaven.

**Like Communion, The Lords Supper....I hate the way Baptist do it. They read the Bible all monotone with no emotion at all, everyone eats the wafer, read the Bible all monotone with no emotion at all, everyone drinks the juice, it's over, what's next on the agenda for the service. They only do it like twice a year or something, it's rare whatever it is.

The Methodist get this right, in my opinion. When we were Methodist taking Communion was special, it was exciting, and reflective. They do it by intinction, can you say that with me..........i n t i n c t i o n.

The congregation would get into a single file line row by row with the ushers guiding them to the alter up front. The folks step in front if the minister who is holding consecrated fresh bread prepared a certain way. You pull a small piece off and partly dip it into the cup of juice. He says the verse all ministers say at Communion. The thing is while you are taking the Communion the person behind you lays their hands on you to pray for you. It's special. It's meaningful.

I have also done it by way of kneeling at the alter with 10 or so other folks. The minister and some other helpers hand out the wafers and juice say some verses to you and you take the Communion. The whole time the group next in line behind you lays hands, one for one, to pray for the person receiving the Communion. When your group is through, you get up and they kneel and the people behind them pray for them and so forth. It's very nice and causes one to pause and think of Christ appropriately. They take Communion once a quarter I think.

When I take Communion with my children at church now, it feels more like a ritual than a meaningful event. I miss the specialness of that.

The Baptist have an alter call every Sunday, Methodist rarely if ever have an alter call. How can one make a decision for Christ when you are not given the opportunity right in the Lords house.
If one is in the Methodist church and feeling the spirit move in them to make a decision, and then they leave the building....I bet Satan attacks them ferociously to sway them back to the thought process of, "What was I thinking, do I really need Jesus like that?" Alter call is very important to me in a church.

I do believe that more times than not drinking is a stumbling block, playing lottery when you cannot afford groceries & pay bills properly is bad, to get dunked or not get dunked, to sing hymns from a hymn book or rock out with drums, to alter call or not to alter call........

........I believe if one isn't hung up on those stumbling blocks, they have their own stumbling block that isn't as high profile.

Satan seeks your weakness no matter what it is and he strokes it gently and attractively, so you won't avoid it easily. You can pick and choose the ones you like and don't like & stand on yer corner going on about it, but deep inside Satan is stroking your weakness too. Especially if you are steadfast for the Lord, cause you, Christian, are gonna do Satan the most eternal damage. Let us not forget to stand on the corner and preach to ourselves also.

As a friend, I am not sure this is uplifting, I apologize a little, but not fully, cause it's a truth for me.

We are Christians, just not the only Christians.......

"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."...........Romans 12:4-5

To me, I am a part of a whole. I am 100% aware that my actions speak about Christ & I am accountable.

But, it is Christ who convicts me and not my religion.