....after I slept off all my evil.....

I am about to get my life put back together.  I hope.

This is an attempt to catch us all up to speed for the past month. It may take a few blogs though.

Amy- I have been doing my thing driving all over Hell and creation in auto-pilot as usual for this time of year.  Six or seven days a week we are going somewhere at some point during the day.  I just try to breathe my way through each day knowing somehow it all gets done.

I am still exercising my butt off....or should I say my butt on, cause nothing is still happening....on the scale anyway.  I have taken about 10 of the 16 Power classes that I need to take at at the gym in order to get the free t-shirt that labels me as a weight lifter...sort of, in my eyes anyway.  I am surely getting more muscles.  I can see a bulge in my arms where there has never been one before in my life.  My butt actually looks round like a butt should look, instead of just fading into my thighs.  My stomach is certainly more flat than it was and my pants are fitting much better and some are even a little big or too big.

The problem here is that my scale is sabotaging me.  So I had D hide it so that I could only weigh on Sundays.   The first Sunday I weighed 189.  D was happy for me cause I was finally in the 180's.  I wasn't, cause I knew the moment I ate a piece of ice I would gain 3 pounds.  He scolded me for not enjoying that small victory. In my mind I have been this place so many times that I truly am not in the 180's till it is a consistent number.

I was not too discouraged however.  I gave myself a year to do this right and I have been sticking to it.  I rarely cheat and I exercise 5 to 6 days a week 40 minutes or more.  So this past Sunday I was excited to weigh because I ate especially well chosen foods that week.  I knew I had pushed myself doing the exercise and I was hoping for a 187 minimum.

The scale said 190.  I became so angry inside that I thought I might grow some devil horns that would surely expel a blazing fury so hot they'd burn the roof off my house.  I controlled it though the best I could.  I left the bathroom, went to make coffee and get the kids moving.........and then the evil tidal wave of death and destruction that likes to throw stuff when I am infuriated hit me.

So I marched right back to the bathroom where D was blowing his hair dry, picked up the scale, stomped back to the front door, stepped out onto my front stoop, and I launched that scale as far as I could with my new arm muscles "that weigh more than fat."  I meant for it to bounce on the ground and bust every spring and gear inside of it.  On the first bounce as it hit the ground I felt a minuscule amount of satisfaction.  I wanted to throw it one more time but I refrained cause I knew I was going to church in a couple hours and I needed to get rid of this evil in me before I could praise the Lord properly for the good things in my life.

The kids get up.  D comes out of the bathroom to eat breakfast.

D- Where's the scale?

CB & Sky - She threw it in the front yard.

M- You threw the scale in the front yard?

CB- Yeah she did!  It went way over there see?!

D- (looking out the breakfast nook window) Nice distance.

A- I threw it into the front yard. Yes I did.  If anybody brings that scale back into this house I swear bad things will happen to you.  I don't know what they are, but don't test me.

When I left for church the idiot scale was in the front yard.  When I came home from church the idiot scale was in the front yard.  When I came home from the gym the idiot scale was not in the front yard.  I was so mentally exhausted from my emotional torture of weighing that morning, only to find all my good eating and exercise had been in vain....months and months of not eating delicious morsels of goodness, shin splints that wake me up in the middle of the night, sweating, sweating, sweating, pushing, pushing, pushing....only to still weigh 190....I took a bath and went to bed at 6:30pm and didn't get up till 7:00 am the next morning.

BUT, not BUTT, but.....BUT, during the Power class at the gym I had likened myself to this fairly big woman in the class, like we were equals in weight.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym and I noticed that I didn't look her size at all.  I mean I was still bigger than I need to be of course, but I wasn't as big as I perceived myself to be by the number on the scale.  The scale doesn't change the fact that I can feel and see a muscle in my arm that has never been there before.  It doesn't change the fact that some of my pants are too big now, not all of them, but some of them.  Those are my small victories, that I should thank God for.

I am going to choose to dwell on those things.  So I can be thankful in all things to God for giving me endurance and patience to persevere when my flesh wants to quit, the spirit in me is still willing to keep my temple, in which Jesus resides, clean and healthy.

I am not going to weigh anymore.  My sister in Christ, Sarah, told me I should pick out a pair of pants I want to get into and use those as a gage for my success. I think that is the better way to go for me.....for my family too.

I found this note hanging out of my drawer where I keep my exercise wear in my closet the morning after I slept off my evil. ( you can click on this pic to get a better view if need be)

My heart overflowed and spilled all over the place with love for this oldest son of mine.

I CAN DO all things through Christ who strengthens me...... Philippians 4:13


*

I totally gave her permission to kick me square in the butt ...........

Last Monday, not yesterday, Kacka Lacky, TN had our annual Christmas parade. I had agreed to walk with the girls in the parade because the gal who owns the clogging studio where they take lessons needed some adult chaperone's. It was cold, which was to be expected. The clogging studio got a super position in the parade sort of near the front of the line. The girls got lined up...the truck with Christmas clogging music screaming out the back of the truck bed, the "pro-cloggers" to clog all the way through the parade, the girls with the banner saying who we were, and then all the girls walking and throwing out candy...in that order.

It started to rain just as we were about get the show on the road.

.......that and the truck battery with the blaring music was dead.

Immediately the gal who owns the studio runs over to me and Ms. P and asks us if we have jumper cables. Which we don't cause she wrecked her vehicle hitting a deer and she had a rental car and I am just generally unprepared and in constant need of supervision when in the presence of any vehicles.

It has started to pour down rain now and we have lost our position. Our bags that have all the candy to throw out have gotten wet on the bottom and the bottoms literally start to fall out of the bags, spilling candy all over the streets where we stand in the pouring rain.....it's 40 degrees.

I had pathetically persuaded Ms. P into walking in the parade with me so I wouldn't have to walk all by myself not knowing anyone. um, yeah....I totally gave her permission to kick me square in the butt right in front of God and everybody.

The truck did get jumped off and despite losing our spot we ended up slap in the middle of the line in the parade. The SECC pro girls did clog all the way through the parade in the pouring rain. We did get sopping wet beyond all wetness in 40 degree weather. It was insane. In the end, it was a night I would surely remember as a sacrifice for my girls. Not only that, but even in the pouring rain Kacka Lacky town folks STAYED for the parade. I would have totally bailed if we had not been in the parade. But piles of folks lined the streets with their kids waiting to grab as much candy as possible. Our girls had a ball. I can actually say I had a pretty good time too.

D had the biggest umbrella known to man with Cole and Z waiting on us to come around. They got three full gallon sized ziploc bags of water-logged candy that night. Most of which hit the garbage the next morning for failure to dry in a manner that was eatable.

Ms. P's husband should have been in the parade he was waving us on bigger than the wavers in the parade. He was clearly excited and it made me happy to see his excitement. Her two boys, not quite as excited.

Meg and I agreed if we could get one of our kids to marry the other and have some children... some day...we could gab on about this night when we are older and grayer than we are now....cause it was surely epic.

We had to walk back to our cars at the end of the parade. Most of the mom's and a few teens could have passed for Alice Cooper.

It was till pouring down when we decided to just stop walking and call D to come pick us 6 drowned girls up under the shelter of the local car wash. He did.

My car smelled like wet vermin for like two days after that. I despise Febreeze cause it kills my sinuses, but it works so I used way too much of it.

We all got home, took hot baths, and put on warm fuzzy pajamas with slippers. It was an awesome way to end an unthinkable parade situation.


..........................
Quotes from parade night:

.....the Baptist church handing out cookies and hot chocolate earlier in the night before the parade.

D - CB, do you want some hot chocolate?

CB- No it's too hot, I don't like it too hot.

D- CB, do you want a chocolate chip cookie?

CB- No, I don't like chocolate chip cookies?

D- Well of course you don't. These are made with goodness and love by kind Christians, you probably want devils food cake.
____________

CB in the car on the way home...

CB- Yeah and then Zachary pushed me down in the street and my hat got grinched. (drenched)


____________


This is not our city parade, but gosh, it's funny....and worthy of parade catastrophe mention for sure. Listen to the folks distress when Rudolph meets his fate.

"You're tearing Rudolph!!!"....oh man...it's just ...a little funny.

This goes back to my previous blog about why do we do abnormal things at this time of year?

....like striding in pouring down rain in 40 degree weather to the equivalent of a Christmas version of Cotton-Eyed Joe....and pulling an extremely over-sized baby deer with a birth defect on an under thought out parade path that tortures town folks and little children into night terrors about it's death by gouging of an over zealous stop light.

...anyhoo, Happy Tuesday.

he gave me 3 containers of Floam and then drove away..............

As stated before I try not to play up the Santa Claus thing here at he house, cause it irritates me a little.

But one year on my way home from dropping Maysie off at an Awana Christmas party, I saw my neighbor leaving his house dressed up like Santa Claus. He had been playing Santa at one of his two kids Christmas parties.

It happened like this:

He got dressed as Santa for HIS kids Christmas parties thinking he was going to be a hero, feeling good about himself.

On his way out the door his next door neighbor had her mommy GPS on go. When he set foot out the front door she asked him if he'd stop by their house on the way in from the party later that night. She'd leave gifts on the porch, one for each of her three kids.

He said yes.

He arrived home that evening and was heading toward their house when I spotted him. I was in early stages of labor with Cole, so I am all crazed out in the mind pregnant thinking, "OH wouldn't it be super cool if he could visit Sky?! Let me see if I can make it happen."

I turn my car on two wheels and descend on Santa before he knows what's happening.

A- (hanging across my passenger seat, with my passenger seat window down, trying not to be in labor) Heeeeyy Santa....you wanna go for a ride to my house real quick and see a very bad little 3 year old girl.....please, please, plllleeeeeeeease?

Santa - I told R****** I 'd go see her kids. (He looks exhausted, but I am in labor and I don't care.)

A- (I didn't want to have to do this manipulative thing at Christmas but....I had to pull the trump card. I could tell he was going to totally bail) I'm in labor and I am begging you, feel sorry for me and get in my car. I will drive you home I swear, right after you do the deed. I'll give you cookies and milk.......and some floam to give my bad little girl.......

Santa - (still walking heading up the driveway and not wanting to tell me yes) Amy....I wasn't intending to do all this you know?......

A- I know......but really... right now, I am bigger than you. I could actually just take you down Santa and make you give my girl Floam and not give you any cookies............I will be your best friend......

Santa - (almost to their door now) Go home. Leave the gift on the steps and I will drive down when I am done here...and (he hollers down the porch steps) I don't want anymore cookies!

A- Okay then! (excited, mission accomplished)...I'm outta here, FLOAM wrapped up on the front steps! Her name is Skylar!

Santa waves me off to leave.

I rush home, get my big, fat, pregnant, in early labor butt in the house and hurry to put the gift on the porch before she sees me. D is all, "What is wrong with you? What are you doing?"

A- SH! I got Santa coming over here.....

D- What.....

A-Just be quiet and wait a dang minute.

ding dong

Sky runs out of her room. My dog is barking her head off cause no one rings our bell at night that late.

I open the door and there he is with the gift... "Ho Ho Ho Miss Skylar, how are you this evening pretty girl?"

Sky is seriously looking like, what the heck? Santa is at my door?

She is hanging onto my leg so tightly......D is grinning from ear to ear......

Santa - Skylar I have brought a gift for you this evening to open early....have you been a good little girl?

Sky- (always brutally honest, even at 3) um, no not really.

Santa -(he snickers a little cause he thought I was lying earlier) Well then, I will give you this gift if you will promise to be a good girl till Christmas......at least, right?........Mom?

A- Yes, yes Santa that would be fine. (So dang funny, Santa trying to give a bad girl a gift, with stipulations he knows by her truthful eyes she won't keep.)

A - I know you are surely busy Santa....and tired, you probably need to head off huh and get some rest before the big gift exchange next week.....

Santa - Yes, Yes I do....It was surely good to see you Miss Skylar, I do need to get back, but I will see you again soon....be good now.

I shut the door and Sky is in shock. While she is coming to terms with the fact Santa just came to her house, I sneak out the front door. I make haste out to his car to tell him, thank you, thank you, thank you, and that I owe him a lawn mowing or something in the spring. Which he did not collect on.

Santa getting in his car - "Are you really in labor?"

A- Yes, just early labor, I have a little bit of time before things start to rock and roll....

Santa - for petes sake......

A- Thank you again!

That was actually the night of two Kens......

One who was Santa.

One who would sleep on my couch at some unholy hour, in the middle of the night to stay with my kids while D and I went to the hospital. Well, actually until my mom could get here the next morning.

Anyhoo....all this story to say, Sky still believes in Santa. This little boy at church told her Santa wasn't real. She has never asked me about it so luckily I haven't had to address that.

....in the car on the way home from the mountains the weekend of May's b-day.....

S- Do you know what Z** C***** told me?

A, M, & Z- What?

CB- Who is Z** C*****?

S- He said Santa Claus wasn't real.

Z- Well, what did you say?

CB- Who is Z** C*****?

S- I said, well yes he is. He came to my front door and gave me 3 containers of Floam. Then he drove away in a car.........which was weird.

We all catch each others eyes in the car and smile.

CB- Who is Z** C*****?

All this time I didn't know she saw him pull out of the driveway in a car. :oD

he has this awful red afro and way too much lipstick...........

This past Monday I took my kids and PJ to Dollywood.

IT WAS SO FREAKING HOT!

I had told the kids, "Look, you may as well just resign yourselves to being hot, thirsty, sweaty, salty, sticky, and stinky today and all day. The heat will never subside, so soak in the fun and try to keep it together."

Right off the bat Sky was measured wrong and they claimed she was still too short to ride any of the rides except the idiot ducks....which means Cole can only ride the idiot ducks. So they both got banded with kiddie ride arm bands. Sky's demeanor went down visibly and immediately. So did mine and May's for her.

The Dolly Dame claimed Sky was 1/4 of and inch to short and WOULD NOT let her slide. I was thinking about getting stupid and some other parents looked at me like I should get stupid. I did ask her if she could please just give the next up arm band, she's almost eight and doesn't want to have a season pass to ride the dumb ducks, 1/4 of an inch..... come on.....

She then pulled Sky out of line and explained to me the constitution of the United States and about all measurement regarding the shelves on the bottom of the ocean floor and tall building construction & frying eggs.

I was about to grow a beard and die twice waiting for her to shut up.

Like those times when I get a ticket.....yes, yes....I understand, you're right......hmmm.......really........yes, yes, yes...........okay, okay...........yes, thank you, fake smile, leave, cut the arm band off and hope for lesser attentive ride workers.

That was the right thing to do. BOTH Sky and Cole were quite able to ride almost every ride except the huge roller coasters. Which is fine. Because Sky was an inch and 1/2 taller than she was measured according to the marking sticks. She was able to ride a few of rides by herself. This free'd me up to ride with CB who measured repeatedly rider with an adult in tow.

When I needed another adult for Sky..........lied again and claimed PJ was 16. Which isn't that off base really, he's 15 1/2 or something. He was glad to help me out.

An adult that teaches a kid to lie is not a good thing. It had to be done though for all things great and small if this day was to be remotely tolerable for me.

Can you imagine what kind of whining I would have had to endure while two hot miserable kids complain about riding ducks, flying pigs, and some bees. Uuuuhh, no, not even going there. I felt no Jiminy Cricket about it at all.

The night before we left for Dollywood, the 5 of them were on the dock swimming after dinner and came up with a rap called Down With the Ducks at Dollywood. One kid was the beat box, two were the back ground vocals and one was the rapper...the other two of us were the laughers, cause that crap was so dang funny. I wished I had it on video, hilarious.

Cole rode some super scary rides for a 4 year old that Maysie wouldn't even ride, loved'em and wanted more. He's a brave, crazy little sucker.

Can I just say......I loved going to Dollywood with all of the young people. Even though I was the only adult, I had a blast.

When it was about time for us to head home God overflowed the bathtub and used the nice folks at Dollywood to mop it up.

I had the kids wait at the exit while I rode the tram in side of the face slapping rain, thunder and lightening, then jogged to my car. I was glad I had been using my treadmill cause I was totally not out of breath at all. I felt pleased with myself.

So I got into my car in clothes so wet that I looked as if I had jumped into a pool. I pulled the car around to get the kids who are the most amazing mind reading children ever. They had folded up the stroller, divided up the conglomeration of cups, balls, wet tennis shoes, & socks and were making haste to the vehicle when they saw me. I swear I loved them for being intuitive.

Let me just take this time to say PJ is one of the most awesome teens I know. I know quite a few cool teenagers actually, but PJ is genuinely kind, loving, grateful, respectful, courteous, and super funny. Despite the fact I corrupted him with telling lies about his age at Dollywood, I observe that he is honest and not easily influenced by others. I am glad Z has had the opportunity to hang out with him relentlessly this summer. He's an awesome influence on Z. He handles Z's strong personality & touching issues with ease as if he has handled it right along with my family forever. I will miss him when he goes home and I know Z will also.

Anyhoo.... we got stuck in Pigeon Forge traffic for entirely too long in entirely too wet clothes. My bra was glued to my body and my pants were starting dry on the top but completely hot and soaking wet underneath on my butt. We were all cold on the top and hot & sticky on the bottom. The car was starting to smell like musty corn chips. It was bad. The guys took off what they could and still be decent, Sky took off what she could and was indecent, as usual and didn't care at all.

May and I were in mind over matter mode......just focus on getting home.

We did stop at McDonald's to eat.

We're in the bathroom washing our hands and so forth......drying our clothes with hand dryers......

Sky bustin in the bathroom door - Mom! There is this totally creepy clown sitting on a chair out there and he has this awful red afro and way too much lipstick.

Let's face it, it wouldn't be my first............

Yesterday Ms. P invited me and my tribe to go to the Farmers Market in Knoxvegas with her and her tribe.

I accepted.

I had a ball.

In my mind I pictured the farmers market in Santa Fe. I immediately started to drool over the possible purchase of honey sticks. I felt excited about hippies with guitars and homemade pitchouli soap. When I told May we were going to the farmers market she was all, "BLUEBERRY HONEY STICKS!!! ShaZAM!"

I'm like, "I know, right?!"

The farmers market didn't turn out to be that much really. But I did purchase some awesome blackberries that didn't even come close to making it home. Between her 4 and my 4, the blackberries didn't stand a chance. I got some outstanding raspberries, that I have not been able to keep my hands off of. I got some green beans & okra too.

I didn't have to pay for parking at the meter either. My meter wasn't working properly after I fed it not enough dimes and nickels and Ms. P fed it another quarter, so I resigned myself to getting another ticket. Let's face it, it wouldn't be my first. After all, I consider myself to be a professional ticket payer. I probably own that meter anyway.

.......but to be on the safe side....I told on myself to this ticket writing officer on a bicycle and this other cop in a car that were chatting with some other long haired dude. Ms. P and I descended upon them three with all our kids defending the silver bullet before we even stated our case.

Cop(kidding us)- So you want me to believe you two fed the meter? I'm supposed to have some pity on you?.....

A- Yes, absolutely look at all these kids. You can clearly see we are outnumbered severely? Absolutely, show us some mercy man, please......

The smiling cop relays to us if the meters aren't working it's on them and we'll get not ticket. So I underpaid to begin with probably and then got a free ride. I was pretty dang happy about that.

Ms. P- Well that's not fair, I had to pay, I gave you my last quarter.

A - I know, but I'm not gonna get a ticket! I totally owe you a quarter.

When I got change I gave her two or three of my quarters then I took one back cause I needed change for something. Thank goodness the next place we went we didn't have to pay for parking. Cause I didn't have anymore quarters and I don't think she did either.

After we shopped at the market a bit we stopped and had our picnic lunches in the shaded area of the park. We all gabbed about nonsense without any effort. It was wonderful.

After lunch we headed over to the Worlds Fair Park to play in the big fountains. They really were a treat out of our everyday norm. All of my kids had a ball and were tired on the ride home. We had to cut the afternoon short when thunder clouds started to build up and behave disorderly.

Here's what was so fun about the day to me. The market and fountains are something I have never done in Knoxvegas before. I was able to do them with a family that I am completely comfortable with. I never feel the need to curtail my personality cause Ms. P doesn't seem to mind my family is louder than hers. We hadn't spent any real time with them as group in a long time.

It was great to not feel like I had to squeeze 3 hours worth of conversation in a kid exchange in the Rite-Aid parking lot in the rain.

I love days when it requires little to no effort to make it all happen. This day could've been completely whacked.

I started off a little over an hour behind unknown to me. The clock I was counting on hadn't been reset from the power outage the day before. May got up and had asked me why I hadn't gotten her up, "Are we going?"

I suddenly realized we should be leaving the house right that very minute. It was like someone hit the bees nest and bees went flying about. I originally thought this day is gonna be a bust. Why can't anything be easy?

Then suddenly............it was.

I am like..........great.

One time I said to myself...."Self, there are 24 hours in a day, you shouldn't waste them."

I made it a point that whole summer to fill my time with things that were productive. I tried not to do anything that would not accomplish some significant accomplishment in my home. That summer went by so quickly I can barely remember it. What I remember about that summer was that I tried to fill my time and did so....well, too well.

Now here I am with stuff running my life and filling my time for me. As if time owns me instead of me owning my time. Productive stuff has to be done.....ALL THE DANG TIME. I just want to waste some time and don't have any to waste.

So D has taken Z and scooted off to the beach for a bit to spend some time with his mom and dad. So I have no plans to cook anything significant while he is gone. I am just going on a wing and prayer that the rest of my kids get proper nourishment while they are away.

Okay so here's something you missed......

Puppies.

One of my neighbors saw them hiding under a bush when they drove by and gave me a call. I called this gal who does some work for animal shelters or something and asked her what she thought I should do. She tells me that her husband is fixing dinner and that if I can catch them she'll come and pick them up after dinner.

The puppies are very skittish and I am doubtful I can catch them but I tell her I'll try and call her back.

I take Z and May with me for help and we do in fact manage to catch them, by way of dog food kibble for bait...they are starving. You can't see in these photos but the smallest one is so weak he can barely walk.

I put the puppies on my porch cause they are FULL of fleas and have a minimum of 5 ticks or more in each ear of each puppy, not to mention the ticks elsewhere on their bodies, some as big as snails. It really is pitiful.

I call the gal and tell her we have the puppies. She then informs me her husband will kill her if she brings one more dog home and she can't come and get them.

I am like..........great.

Now I have to figure out how to explain flea and tick puppies to D who is not keen on pets anyway. He like's Jenny and that's about it.

He gets a bit stupid on me in front of some neighbors, which I didn't appreciate. But I put it behind me cause really the little puppies are pitiful and they didn't ask to be born and dropped off in some neighborhood.

So now I have 3 sets of neighbors in my driveway plus our family. Sarah's husband pulls all of the ticks off of all the puppies, he's immediately my hero. We determine ourselves to bathe them. I bathe one, May & Z bathe one, D bathes one....then we rinse and Matthew (Sarah's hubby) re-bathes one, I re-bathe one, and May and & Z re-bathe one aaaannnd repeat one more time. They look so cute, so fresh and clean.

So now it's dark and everyone leaves. Puppies are fresh and clean going to a shelter as soon as I can find one that's open. I put them in the largest rubber maid container I own and leave them in the garage for the night.

I have to be up at the butt crack of dawn the next morning which is a Sunday. Z has an unexpected soccer tournament game at 8:00am and it'll take us a bit to get to this particular field.

I couldn't sleep at all that night knowing they were in the garage. I finally got up at 3:15 am to let them all go to the bathroom. I took them one at a time cause they liked to hide under stuff and catching all three might prove a challenge. So I take the one that can't walk good first, the other two start whining. The one female manages to jump out of the container and crap all over the garage numerous times while I am laying on my belly trying to get the little one out from under a bush...........at 3:30 am. I have to repeat this same scene three times and actually have to slither under my car at three different angles to catch one cause he moves to the other side when I almost get to him. I was all....really?!

By 4:15 am they are all back in the container and resettled. I have to get in the shower at 5:30 so I can leave by 6:30 so I can be at the field by 7:30.

So I don't go back to bed.

When I get home by 10:00 am I fix a meal for one of my favorite gals who has been in a terrible car accident and plan to get it to the church by the time church lets out. From there....... take the puppies to the Taj Mahal of puppy shelters in Knoxville.

In that cooking time Matthew & Sarah have grown attached to the one female and decide to keep her. Her name is Maeve (sounds like Mave). She is super cute and she's a really lucky dog to have great owners.

So May and I take Frick & Frack on to the shelter after I drop off the food.

I totally shed some tears when I had to hand the puppies over. The one that couldn't walk good ....I wanted to keep him.

I am never picking up stray dogs again.

Irresponsible pet owners make me SICK!

It's not that hard not to have a pet if you can't take care of one.

....more to come, I promise.

O is for Oreo's that are delicious to eat!!!........

I mean, I hate to be part of the "I told you so" crowd......but...

I freaking told you so!

The allergy gal called this morning and said Sky did test positive for dairy allergy.....

I hate to be this way, but I swear sometimes people make out like you are crazy when you just know something about your child is not right. Regardless of what the blood would have shown, I would have left her off the dairy.

This weekend was the best weekend she has had in a month. She has been off the dairy now 2 weeks and the difference in her is night and day. The coughing is minimal and virtually no gagging....maybe once or twice a day some small gags but all in all I am very, very pleased at how well she is doing.

She and I are ready to bury the Coach throw up bucket deep under the ground.

D had me look up the "Ezekiel 4:9" bread ingredients that caused her to throw up so hard last week or so...........low and behold the ingredients so closely mimic the protein during digestion of "milk, eggs, & whey" that they had caused her to vomit hard. I had thought it was the nuts/seeds in the bread or something, but that wasn't it at all, it was the proteins the bread makes during digestion mimicking milk proteins. I feel so relieved to just know some things for sure in my mind.

Now I really do have a plan that is based on something real and not just me floundering around making a bunch of guesses.

It isn't that I trust some doctor to know my child and make decisions for me...its just knowing that I am not overreacting and getting all nutted up.

Just want to give a shout out to Dr. John Fox (my favorite chiropractor) and his wife Shay for being such great friends to D and I even when we are so far away. Thank you John, for letting me go off on my tangent then giving me solid encouraging advice. Thank you for reminding me of the things I needed to thank God for when I was neglecting them. Thank you Shay for letting me be a crazy mom and encouraging all my mommy eccentricities...for encouraging me to be diligent about my own child's health and not be intimidated. Oh yeah, and for sending me countless delicious food pics that make Sky feel normal.........like Oreos ;oD

Amy & "Greg" miss you so much.....please move to TN, we need you here more than they need you there!!!!!!!!!

I ain't screamin from the mountain top just yet.......

These past few weeks have been weeks I will not soon forget.

April 2010 will be embedded in my memory for a bit and I will have to shake it off when I think of it.

This has been one of those times when, to quote Alfalfa from the Little Rascals, that I have said...

"....and the sky opened up, and God said, I hate you Alfalfa (Amy)."

I have been wondering constantly what I have done to make God punish me so sternly. But here are three things that gave me "A-HA!" moments....

1. As I was lamenting this thought to my girlfriend Cindi, she told me she'd wondered that herself often in troublesome times. Ultimately though, she came to realize that she had done so much wrong in the site of God that she couldn't find the one thing that God was punishing her for..... so she came to terms with her thankfulness for His grace that covers them all.

I totally was diggin on that. It put a band aid on my woe is me bleeding session.

2. God is the God of love and goodness. Throughout the Bible God tells us he seeks only goodness for us. However, in our disobedience we wreak havoc on ourselves in the form of consequences. So God isn't punishing me. I've basically chosen to waller in my not optimal situations instead of seek Him for peace and understanding.

3. Lots of things have suddenly become clear to me. In the midst of the undesirable stuff happening then, I can look back and see God using those for good in the now situations. They seemed mind jamming at the the time, but are clearly a blessing now.

Sky constantly throwing up is not in that category.......whole other blog.

I know for sure I am grateful that I know Jesus. I don't believe I would have ever seen hope and purpose in some of these irritants if I had not been seeking Him in all things. I would have went on lamenting woe is me Jesus, when are you coming back???!

Though I am not 100% recovered from all of this and screaming on my mountain top how great God is right now...but at least I am heading up the mountain and not down.

Today, I am grateful for God not giving up on me, when I give up on Him. Thank you Lord for not getting off the cross and saying, "I will finish this up later for Amy when I am not so tired," .....like I do to you when I am tired. Thank you for knowing I am a human, even though I am new in you. You know I still need help cause I get wore down......and you never quit on me or get tired.......

You show me glimpses of good when I seek them.
You are strong.
You are diligent.
You are faithful....even when I am not.

Today Lord, I am grateful for those things.

I can't turn my head without turning my whole body.........

I had the most awesome weekend. It was one of those weekends where everything despite a full schedule just comes together. It should be rushed, but some how time stands still and its okay that it isn't.

Friday was beautiful. We finished school early and walked the drained lake beaches combing for the usual 50 huge clams in several zip loc bags and a shoe. Kids got in the water a bit and had to walk back wet as usual, so we managed to keep that tradition well in tact. While on the beach we met a new family in our neighborhood. Well actually just the mom and her young toddling girl.

They were bundled up in sweaters, socks, and shoes, trying not to be muddy.....and here comes my brood with shorts, no shoes, and mud to the calves minimum. Hollering to me from afar how they have just found "the rare beer can" and that I should come and look.....oh and this too, "Mom!! Listen!! I can make the mud make fart sounds(insert 2 children fast farting and slow farting with the mud slop & having great jolly with it)."

I had this shirt on that was 2 whole dollars at Walmart the other day, that read, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am." I bought a couple $2 shirts to mow the lawn in and so forth, cause you can't make a dang shirt for $2. I wondered what type of first impression I or we made on the new neighbors. It scared me a little , even though I felt we talked well, and of Christ too.

I invited her to sit under the tree with Sarah and I if she was out walking and ever saw us out gabbing. She seemed glad about the invite, but still.....clearly we seemed a contrast to one another as we stood there on the beach. She, hair pulled back neatly in a pony tail, & her daughter with mud on her pink ballet flats with precious little flowers, waving goodbye to us as we moved on......we.....shorts, boasting shirts & afro hair blowing everywhere, unable to be tamed by a flowered bobby pin, muddy, and loud......eeesh, I have to hope for the best.
















Saturday, a day full of awesome.

Read the paper with D a bit, and worked on my curriculum for next year, cleaned the house a bit while he sprayed weed killer outside. I worried he was going to spray to the wrong flowers to spite me. I figured oh well, if he does I will just grow some more.

Later in the day we attended a wedding for a girlfriend named Lisa R.(now Lisa B!). It was so dang fun! This is why.....cause it was the first wedding I have been to in a while that I felt like this is gonna last.

She had great music as we waited for her to enter that made me feel joy to be at her wedding. Once the deed was done the two left the sanctuary husband and wife to the song Signed, Sealed, Delivered, by Stevie Wonder. How could one not be happy and wear a smile?

Her husband is Hungarian. He is handsome. He is a Chef. D told Andras if Lisa kicked him to the curb, he would marry him. We sat with Lisa's dad at the reception where the food rocked every taste bud in my head. The dad told us without being prompted, if Lisa didn't marry him, he would take him....we all laughed, cause we understood how good the food Andras had prepared was. Music at the reception was awesome, it was beautiful outside where we ate and watched all the little girls have their own dance party.

I had told D we'd help him get some stuff at the church set up for Sunday, so we all had to leave a bit early which kinda stunk. However, since we were in separate cars, as usual....The girls and I stayed for the cake cutting, which was a blessing straight from taste bud heaven. Lisa asked me if I wanted some to take home.........um, yes.............could you just box up the whole middle layer please, thanks.

Lisa's smile of happiness made my heart overflow with love for her. I am so glad she invited our family. I would have totally missed out on something fun & special that day.

After that we worked at the church till, 7:15 or 7:20 or something. The girls and I singing karaoke Shania Twain, Amy Grant, Kingdom Heirs and whatever else he needed us to do for him to adjust some equalizer or something...then D pretended to be a typical Southern Baptist hell, fire, and brimstone preacher so I could adjust the lapel mike for Pastor Mike the next day. Which was completely hilarious...you can ask Lauren Woody.....she caught some of that.

.....and last but not least for the icing on the perfect day....NEW MOON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazon Video on Demand gave me a freebie for New Moon cause of the pre-order DVD thing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jacob with short hair SCREEEEAMMMM like a teeny bopper, and break a sweat, blink my eyes uncontrollably, holy moly, the New Moon video is about 1000 times better that the first Twilight movie in every way. As soon as I get my hands on the DVD coming to my mailbox today I hope, I am going to watch it about 100 more times....I can feel it already coming. Angie B if you haven't seen New Moon girl, you cannot have mine, BUT I will swoon with you as soon as you get your own. :oD

We'll discuss it, over a brisk 3 mile walk at the track.

Sunday....I knew Monday was coming. It was cloudy, rainy, my neck was killing me, arthritis in my hips and left shoulder wreaking havoc on my posture. It was still a good day though, just someone turned the fun volume down a bit.

We went to eat Mexican food after church. Then on to Home Depot where they had put out that black colored, dog crap smelling mulch that literally made Sky gag all the way in the door. Then I had to exercise severe restraint in the plant department. D did let me get a really nice piece of pottery to put one of Poppy's plants left over from his funeral. I hate house plants, but for obvious reasons I cannot allow this one to go uncared for. It needs a bigger pot. I love the one we got. Sky got a new bigger pot for her aloe plant also, pink and green.

This was my weekend to catch up with all the Kathy's in my life. The one, Kathy L., I have known my whole life, we crammed as much conversation in about 45 minutes as we could. I felt very satisfied that we had connected, her voice brings me nostalgic peace. I love her.

Kathy V. lives down the street but gosh, we're both moms and conversation passing each other in the halls at church during pick up and drop off isn't always enough. We stayed an hour or more after church Sunday night gabbing it up... in the rain even.... about everything from testosterone, school, musical instruments, to our possibly future illiterate youngest children, cause life is so busy we just want them to go to bed at night instead of read. Great quality time with her even if it did rain on us. Though we are both sweet, we did not melt.

As I said though I knew Monday was coming still cause it just got more and more rainy. D's work people called all night long....from 1:30am on.....I can't log on, try this, try that, turn the bedroom lights on, where's my glasses? I can't see a freakin thing, turn the valve on, turn the valve off, turn the valve on, turn the valve off........I finally went to get in the bed with Sky..... cause MAYSIE won't met me sleep with her anymore.

Sky slept all over me, all night. With her sweaty, sticky, big, magic belly in my face, on my back, on my legs.....toss, turn, phone rings, Jenny wants in the bed with us, magic belly on my back again, her fingers tangled in my hair, and so on, and so on, and so on.....and guess what? It's 6:30am.....Cole's awake.

...and I have this horrible crick in my neck. I can't turn my head without turning my whole body....I have "Aunt Helen" disease(that's for mom and Terri :oD ).

Happy Monday??

I am so American in a stereotypical way........

While I was eating lunch the other day and the kids were taking a break somewhere away from me, I watched a Chris Rock comedy special that I had DVR'd about a thousand years ago. I know he has a foul mouth but black humor to me is super funny sometimes. I had already conceded I was going to watch just this one show and then not subject my ears to this contamination again.

It's in these situations you ask yourself what would Jesus do? The whole time He's screaming in your ear DELETE THE FILTH, STUPID!

But as blatantly disobedient as I could be.... I pressed play.

I didn't watch to much of it cause it did contaminate my ears and my mind as expected. So I deleted it before I was 1/3 of the way through it. However I did catch a few jokes that were typical black humor on white people that had me laughing out loud. I like to watch black people imitate white people & I like to watch pastors imitate how Christians act while they are preachin...both usually hit the hammer on the nail.

So Chris was talking about health care & politics, the normal comedian stuff. Then he casually lumped in famous white on black crimes and then spewed out he isn't "scared of Al Queda, he's afraid of Al Cracka." Two completely different subjects weaved together cleverly..... hilarious.

The he went on a rant about food saying, "Americans are the only people that go hunting on a full stomach." It lead to a barrage of funny stuff with Dick Cheney and other hunting scenarios and then I cut it off. I was not wrong, Chris Rock in pretty dang funny. He's got a foul mouth that is too much distraction from the jokes.

Jesus made me mash the delete button........

I was thinking about this cause I had a Pampered Chef party this past Thursday night.

I had a food party. I thought about the Haitians(and other foodless countries)and how their food looks completely different to them than to us. We have a party with it, they seek it out. It troubled me.

As the time got closer for my gals to show up, troubled thoughts turned to excitement yet again. I am so American in a stereotypical way.

I had a great time. We hadn't had that many people in our our house for a fun gathering since we lived out west. Valerie the gal who did my show told me, "Invite 60 people, 30 will accept, but only about 15 will show up."

I am all I don't even know 60 people that well. I'm not sure I know 20 that well. I started going through my email addresses and found I did know more people than I thought. I determined my actions to invite everyone I had not spoken to for more than 5 minutes in 6 months.

I only limited myself to email addresses in invitations. Why?? Cause I did Evites, which by the way, is the bomb!! You know... save a tree and all........."all" being save some money on some stamps. Plus folks can respond, say how many they are bringing, it's awesome.......

Dig on this.......when all was said and done I have 35 people say they were coming and 29 gals showed up!




(...and this ain't all of them, these pics only show about 1/2 of the ladies!)

Excitement was an understatement. There were a few women who said, "...think of all the free stuff you are going to get." Which sure, usually if you do one of these you want to get the free stuff. Who doesn't like free stuff? But I already had tons of Pampered Chef products. In my mind this was a social to see folks that I needed more face time with, the free stuff would just be icing.



At 6:30 the ladies, some with teenagers & children in tow(growing my total to 41 people in my house), showed up like clock work. It was on!

At one point Valerie was still getting some stuff together, D & I were in the kitchen....it was so loud with women enjoying conversation with each other we literally had to speak loudly to each other. D & I listened together quietly for a second, you could not understand a single conversation going on in the living room from the kitchen there was so much girl gabbing going on.

At that moment my heart smiled.

If nothing else happened tonight the girl gab had commenced. Good food was already on the table for the takin and eaten.......


(This doesn't includes the food Valerie prepared)

I had such a good time. I would love to get them all together again but just for food and conversation only.

Here is the thing though. This was an event. People came for a specific purpose, Pampered Chef. I find these days that women are so busy unless it is specific, it is too easy to back out saying I'll catch up with you all next time. I wondered would the turn out have been so good if it was just food and fellowship......

I am thinking about doing a breakfast at church for the ladies only one Saturday. Cause then they'll have the whole day to be with their families afterward. No hymn singing, no game playing, no gift swap......just lots of women, food, gabbing, and a tiny devotional......I wonder how many would commit.....I getting excited thinking on it.......

What about the men.....maybe breakfast for them one Saturday would be awesome......the possibilities excited me........

I think I'll let it marinate for a couple weeks then revisit it........

Getting all those fantastic women who, as it turned out, each has a specific roll in my life right now, was out of control. They were all in my house at once, laughing, making plans to come back and eat another time with us, checking on my mom, fashion, home decor, child rearing, cooking, recipes, checking each other on our weight (by literally licking our plates to signify we are rebelling the diet this evening), sisters some of them are to me for sure...........oh man, I was feeling so good as I laid my head on the pillow exhausted.

I thought, WOW! Who has 29 people show up for a Pampered Chef party?? That was outstanding.

I am so glad I did this party. Even if it made me feel false guilt about the Haitians and other countries. God used this to bless me with friendship and the lightness of life. Life I can take almost too seriously sometimes. I felt a renewed sense of being able to accomplish really big stuff.

I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR! :oD

There's no hair extentions in tha alamo.......

We went to a Super Bowl Party at Caesar & Cornelia's(Caesars wife's name as told by history for real , not just blog stuff.....or at least his first wife anyway).

Cornelia's house was set up perfectly for a Super Bowl Party.....plenty of room for food, flat screens everywhere inside and out, and good company galore.

I don't normally even watch the football game, not even the commercials. It has always seemed like a waste of 4 hours, generally. I usually watch the National Anthem then I am off to do something else. If the person singing the anthem starts going off on their own tangent singing God knows what, I don't even listen to that.

Whitney Houston still ranks number one in my National Anthem book.

see it here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wupsPg5H6aE

I did like the Doritos commercials. Those were pretty funny. This one is hilarious...



and this one too...



Last night though, I really enjoyed the football game. The game, itself....was exciting to me. I'm not a hoot and holler type girl unless it's one of my kids playing, but hanging out with my neighbors which I hadn't done since before Christmas was AWESOME!

There was this delicious dessert pizza that used sugar cookie dough for the crust. It had this amazing white stuff for the sauce and the toppings were pineapple, strawberries, small oranges, and bananas and something else I'm sure....

ROCKED MY DANG TASTE BUDS WORLD, delicious!!!

I am going to have dreams about it for sure.

Anyhoo, somehow it came up that the guys had long hair...and by the way, were they hair extensions? A bunch of us girls determined they had to be. To which the guys could give us play by play on why they were not, the hair was real.

In my mind I heard the Alamo, Texas, high pitched voice, of the lady from Pee Wee Herman's movie...."There's no hair extentions in tha Aaalamoe."

So I decided to check it out by looking at back photos of long haired NFL players. This is what I think.......

This guys hair is real....

Troy Polamalu


and so is this guys.....

Usama Young...2006


2007


2010.......see a sort of natural progression.....believable


and maybe this guy too.....

Phillip Wheeler....2008


2010....



So, for the few I looked up I would say there are surely signs of natural hair growth progression.

However I am 100% sure as fads go, there is some NFL player with hair extentions, trying to "jack" somebody's "style" by "copying their swagger"........

See how I use the hip & cool city lingo with natural ability.


Yo.....

snowy with a 100% chance of smiles...........

A- What's the weather today?

M-(in her best anchor girl voice) Today's weather is overcast and snowy with a 100% chance of smiles


On your mark,
Get set,
SLED!!!!!!!!

(clicking on the photos may enlarge them)















Cole can hang with the big dogs with no problem....it was me
who was worried. The boy steers the Flexible Flyer better than I do
and going mock 10 no less.










....and at the end of the day, you get a tired little boy........




Sunday morning brought this beautiful sunrise with the moon beaming in my kitchen window, in competition with the sun for attention.

oh and then there was this.....