These past few weeks have been weeks I will not soon forget.
April 2010 will be embedded in my memory for a bit and I will have to shake it off when I think of it.
This has been one of those times when, to quote Alfalfa from the Little Rascals, that I have said...
"....and the sky opened up, and God said, I hate you Alfalfa (Amy)."
I have been wondering constantly what I have done to make God punish me so sternly. But here are three things that gave me "A-HA!" moments....
1. As I was lamenting this thought to my girlfriend Cindi, she told me she'd wondered that herself often in troublesome times. Ultimately though, she came to realize that she had done so much wrong in the site of God that she couldn't find the one thing that God was punishing her for..... so she came to terms with her thankfulness for His grace that covers them all.
I totally was diggin on that. It put a band aid on my woe is me bleeding session.
2. God is the God of love and goodness. Throughout the Bible God tells us he seeks only goodness for us. However, in our disobedience we wreak havoc on ourselves in the form of consequences. So God isn't punishing me. I've basically chosen to waller in my not optimal situations instead of seek Him for peace and understanding.
3. Lots of things have suddenly become clear to me. In the midst of the undesirable stuff happening then, I can look back and see God using those for good in the now situations. They seemed mind jamming at the the time, but are clearly a blessing now.
Sky constantly throwing up is not in that category.......whole other blog.
I know for sure I am grateful that I know Jesus. I don't believe I would have ever seen hope and purpose in some of these irritants if I had not been seeking Him in all things. I would have went on lamenting woe is me Jesus, when are you coming back???!
Though I am not 100% recovered from all of this and screaming on my mountain top how great God is right now...but at least I am heading up the mountain and not down.
Today, I am grateful for God not giving up on me, when I give up on Him. Thank you Lord for not getting off the cross and saying, "I will finish this up later for Amy when I am not so tired," .....like I do to you when I am tired. Thank you for knowing I am a human, even though I am new in you. You know I still need help cause I get wore down......and you never quit on me or get tired.......
You show me glimpses of good when I seek them.
You are strong.
You are diligent.
You are faithful....even when I am not.
Today Lord, I am grateful for those things.