Sunday, September 13, 2009

aawww, he'd just had some road rash, it woulda healed, he'd been fine lookin..........

I been so dang busy.

This past Friday I participated in the community "tard sale." Cause "t" & "y" are close to each other on the keyboard, my outlook calendar told me Friday was the day of the "tard sale."
I wondered which of my kids I could sell that day.

anyway.....I made $70 or so, that enabled me to go to Mimi's Cafe today after church with Sarah for an amazing breakfast in the middle of the day. They serve breakfast till 3:00, AWESOME! I had the new thick blueberry french toast with this blueberry cream and fresh blueberries & strawberries on top with two eggs over easy and three piece of bacon, fresh grapefruit juice, and two mocha lattes.........and so much girl chatter that Sarah and I hardly breathed till she dropped me off in my driveway at 4:30. I passed D coming in as he was heading back to church this evening. I love him for letting me go to lunch, breakfast....lunch.....breakfast for lunch, whatever....with Sarah, cause I love Sarah. I don't care how good or bad I am, Sarah loves me. Even when I am bad she may not say it right out, but I know she doesn't agree with me, I can dig it that she doesn't always agree with me.

.....though today she agreed with me on everything and I agreed with her on everything......probably cause we were giddy with delight to eat and gab in peace with no one tugging on us to get a drink, go to the bathroom, or some one hit some one. In fact I am not 100% she nor I knows what the other said as we squeezed so much conversation into a 3 hour time span....I remember this....mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, this is so good, mmmmmmmm, so glad I ordered this, mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmm, another mocha latte? yes please.......mmmmmmm, no I don't want any of yours it will ruin my perfect taste, something about Genera hyper color shirts, elevators stopping on every floor and some angel at Krystal's or something.

OK, back to the "tard sale," so the first shoppers were 2 ladies. I am 100% sure they were baptists by the way they were talking. One lady is young but looks old cause she is dressed way to old for her age, the other lady is old and gossipy about something "that is a shame that she don't git ta see them kids cause they need thar momma." Then she goes on to say her church is having revival and all about the revival. She never once asks me to come to her church revival, not that I would have, but I sort of thought that was the point of havin revive the community. So I ask her, "Are you all Baptist?"

lady- uh, yeah , Shoog(southern short for sugar), we are, why'd you ask?

A- I just heard you talk about revival and all....(and about other folks and "that's justa shame" and all)

Lady- oh, uh huh.....(goes on gossiping about the girl who don't get to see her kids and heads out)

Later on in the day I meet a total hillbilly with overalls and a torn up white t-shirt, skinny, fellow, with a dirty baseball cap, and some teeth........but a SUPER SWEET guy. He can't believe I am selling children's books for 25 cents and wants to know which ones a 3 year old would like. He looks at the pages, notices the colors and 3 year old friendly things in the books and buys 5 books for his girlfriend's little boy. He also buys him a jacket and I throw in some other things cause he is such cool, mild, loving guy, looking for things that will make the mom and the little boy happy. I hope they liked what he bought.

Then, one of the last guys to come to the "tard sale" is a 55 year old, married 4 times, Santa Claus looking man, who looks 65 or 70 to me and his 21 year old youngest boy of three kids by his last wife of 26 years, who he "reckons he will keep." They are looking for fishing gear, tools, & motorcycle stuff. I inform him my husband has no gear cause he's banned from motorcycles till his kids are grown. I explain to him the wreck and the importance of his life to my family....and how his face woulda been peeled off if he hadn't been wearing a super good helmet.

The man proceeds to school me on how dangerous helmets are, and how there are no good helmets. How they are the most dangerous piece of equipment a rider can wear. To which I tell him D would have a messy face without it...... I am for helmets, to which he informs me .....
Biker Santa-aawww, he'd just had some road rash, it woulda healed, he'd been fine lookin

A- I'm still for helmets I don't care....

Biker Santa- I can't hear that good, what?

A- (talking significantly louder)I'm still for helmets I don't care....

Biker Santa- Them thangs can break yer neck, now....... you put yer fingers on the side of yer face on the eyes you got no peripheral it, ya see that?

A- (I do it, he is correct)- I' don't care, I am still for helmets.....

Biker Santa- You know when I had my kids my wife quit ridin so ya know, two parents wouldn't be killed ridin, jist one, I had all my kids from tha time theyz one on a motorcycle

A- Good Lord man, did they wear a helmet?

Biker Santa- I can't hear that good, say it again, what?

A- (louder) Did they wear a helmet?!

Biker Santa - They all ride bikes, .....have been their whole lives, I been in 5 wrecks. I dun hit or been hit by 5 cars ridin (starts listing all his broken bones, so many I can't remember them all) and on top of that I been stabbed and shot too.

A- Good Lord man, maybe ridin motorcycles is something you should reconsider, if I wuz yer wife I'd been dun grounded you.

Biker Santa- shooooot, I'm 55 years old Ma'am, I ride a Harley on one wheel with the front wheel in the air with my wife ridin behind me.

A- Good Lord Man! Do you hear yourself talkin?!! That is pure madness, I couldn't be married to you!!

(the son is smiling and headin back to the truck)

Biker Santa- My son right thar, his friends told'em, I like riding in tha truck with yer daddy, he drives crazy.

A- Well, why can't you hear?(cause now I am dang hollerin in my garage and it's stupid)

Biker Santa- cause I was fightin at bar when I was younger, that's when I got shot

A- In yer dang ear?!

Biker Santa- Nope, in my arm and shoulder, but we'z all fightin, I got hit in tha ear,...... I'z in high school then......

A- .....and you got in a bar fight?!! Good Lord man, it's time you settle yer butt down, put that Harley on two wheels. You ain't drinkin no more is ya?

Biker Santa- oh no Ma'am, cause last time I drove 749 miles across some states and 10 miles before I got home I fell asleep ridin and my kids thought I wuz drunk, so I stopped drinkin while I was ridin cause I didn't want them ta worry bout me drinkin and drivin. I like to talk .....(he's smilin at me and he is quite charming, his son's standin by the truck still smilin)

A- (hollerin to the son)- Is yer daddy just jackin around with me tellin me all this stuff?

Son- No Ma'am...he's crazy, but I love him crazy like that. He does like ta talk now......

A- Alright, well all I gots children's stuff and some Christmas decorations, can you pop a wheelie on any of that?

Biker Santa- (smiling showing me perfectly white straight teeth) I can poppa wheelie in this truck Hun if you give a minute....(he's laughin, walking away) You have a good weekend Hun and tell yer husband he needs to get his woman in line and get another bike.......

A- I hear ya, don't run over my plants backin up, Bye!!

They wave me off, still smilin.....I bet them two had a nice weekend.

......."tard sales" are a lot of work, but the people that come by are kinda fun.


Anonymous said...

Biker Santa came here too!!! He said he has 5 acres...and doesn't own a lawn mower. I told him I bet that his son loved that! He said "You all out here like to mow...but if the weather is purty enough to mow, then it's purty enough to ride! He also said that "he doesn't answer to no one...and his wife has to ask. What a dude! I'll bet he got a kick out of you, little lady:) CRACK ME UP!!! "Said he was an outlaw biker, but a Christian too". (I thought that they were mutually exclusive:) He was interesting. AND, sweet guy came here too and bought for his girlfriend. He touched my heart.


Linear Heritage of Women said...

Wow. This Biker Santa dude is messed up. Maybe he got in 5 wrecks on his motorcycle because he was drinking. And I don't know where he got the idea that helmets are not safe. I know that I would NEVER ride without my helmet because that is just crazy. Also, the helmets don't mess up my periphrial vision. All I can say is, wow. What a guy...