Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Momma, don't kiss daddy, you my girlfriend...........

At 8:00AM Saturday morning this is what I heard while I was standing in the kitchen.
I think the volume was on like........10!





....because D needed to let me know, after all these years he finally knows what "domo arigato" means. It means thank you in Japonics, in case you need to be enlightened also.
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C- I hungry momma

A- What would like for lunch? Peanut butter on cinnamon bread with sprinkles, oatmeal with sprinkles, or how about some mac-n-cheese with green sprinkles....yummy.....

C-No, I want some shapes

A- Shapes?

C- I want some shapes

A- Come show me what you would like, cause I don't know what shapes are

........going into the fridge he pulls out a lunchable with circle crackers, square turkey, and rectangle swiss cheese...........he wants "shapes" for lunch.


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S- Mom, can you fix me a gecko sandwich

A- What?

S- a gecko sandwich.....

A- Ew, gross, what goes into a gecko sandwich? When I last checked we didn't have any geckos to put into a sandwich in the house and that I am aware of you cannot buy that at Kroger either....however, we can never really be sure what potted ham is.......

S- noooooo, you know that bread you cut in a circle with a chicken patty in it

A- OH! You want a "ghetto" chicken sandwich?

S- (happy as a lark) Yes!! I want two......



I told you she was ghetto......









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Cole looking in the mirror a couple days after his dentist appt to get his tooth fixed after he nearly knocked it out.........

C- Momma, where is my black tooth?
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.......watching the news with D after dinner. I am sitting close to D on the couch, Cole comes in, crawls in my lap, looking at D irritated.......

C-Momma, you my girlfriend
D-No, she's my girlfriend
C- Nooooo she my girlfriend
D- No she's my girlfriend
C- NO MOMMA, you MY girlfriend (turns my face towards his and kisses me on my lips)
A- aaawwww Cole Bear that's a sweet kiss, I love you Cole Bear (big hugs)
C- (to Derrick) she my girlfriend, hmp.....
D- (turns my face and gives me a kiss) She my girlfriend, hmp
C- noooo, momma don't kiss him, (he wipes my lips off)

...this goes on and on till I get up cause they are driving me crazy. Later when I tuck Cole in the bed......

C- Momma, you my girlfriend, not daddy
A- ....yer my boyfriend Cole Bear.....
C-(big hug and a kiss) Don't kiss daddy okay?
A- okay CB, g'night

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......on a whole other note of ghetto, we are sleeping on a flat sheet, being used as a fitted sheet. All our fitted sheets had been washed relentlessly for years with bleach and one by one I was throwing them out not realizing that we had no other fitted when I changed the sheets. I did order two new sets of sheets, but they haven't came in yet. So my bed set up is totally ghetto right now. A flat sheet as a fitted, two completely different pillow cases, and for real a flat sheet to sleep under that has nothing to do with any of the other sheets.

This speaks to me about the things that are important. This would never have happened 10 years ago and now I really don't give a rip that my sheets are 100% mixed matched, it's kind of funny really.

Here's another ghetto thing. Over the summer a friend of our is working at a golf cart place and said since some folks in our neighborhood have golf carts we should get one too. D mentioned it to me and I thought that was a total waste of our money........

....... Especially when I can just put on my orange, Dale, Jr. cap with a camo #8 on it and another 8 drawn beside it in permanent marker to make it "88," tie green gardening wire to our riding lawn mower and Radio Flyer wagon and haul all our stuff including CB, the dog, a cooler and floats to the lake. Why do I need a golf cart?

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Sky & I crammed in the bathroom stall at McDonald's after the Smokies game with other people in the bathroom.....and she talks loud..... constantly

S- I think I have diarrhea
A- Sky, I don't care just go to the bathroom
S- first mom, a big log came out, then it was running really fast out my butt
A- Sky I don't care about all that, quit talking so loud and finish!

lady next to us farts

S- (laughing loudly) Mom? Did you hear her fart?
A- (trying not to laugh cause Sky is laughing and her laugh is funny to me) Sky shut up! Are you done?!
S- (still loud) I know you think it's funny cause I see you trying not to laugh, you heard her fart didn't you mom?
A- SKYLAR!
S- I like it when you laugh
A- why?
S- cause then you aren't screaming....
A- okay, Sky, I'm done with you, I'm outta here....I leave her

When I come out thankfully the bathroom has cleared mostly and I just try to tell myself
I will never see these people again,
I will never see these people again,
I will never see these people again.......

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