Monday, September 14, 2009

you should only shave nose hairs when they are sticking out of your nose.........

I was at a pool party over the weekend and some of us gals were gabbing about random things cause I dyed my hair brown and I had to wear make-up to the party.

The reason I gave for wearing make-up was that because my hair was so drastically different, people would be looking at my face so I had to try and look good. At least till the newness of the color was not new anymore.

I actually did wear make-up to a pool party for middle school aged boys. Who does that?

...people with dark brown dyed hair, who have been blonde their whole lives......

So the husband of the house at which we were swimming ask me why I dyed my hair...he's bald, he didn't get, he's a man....

I told him, I guess cause I was going crazy and it was my birthday and I was turning 39.....but when I was thinking about that later, turning 39 really hasn't affected me at all......but I am going crazy, for sure.
I weigh like two or three times a day

I grow my hair out and whack it all off constantly

I constantly pluck hairs off my face, even when there are no hairs to pluck I hunt for a hair somewhere that will give me satisfaction.

I absolutely cannot remember anything. For real, if it is not on my outlook calendar, it WILL NOT happen. God forbid, my computer not boot up one day, we'd have to sit in the house all day and stare at the walls in a zoned out trance.

If it weren't for the fuel ding-er thing in my car I wouldn't remember to put gas in my car, it's pathetic anyway, whatever, ......we were discussing random things like zits up our noses, shaving utensils like the Epilady from the 90's.
Remember that thing would yank yer freakin hair out of yer leg? What a wretched devise that was.

I actually had a friend who could use that horrid hair yanker like a razor and never flinch. I had to bow down and worship that girl.

Then we were discussing shaving off our eyebrows by accident.....I told you....random, all cause I wore make-up cause I dyed my hair.

Anyway it made me remember the "As seen on TV, MicroTouch shaver." Oh Junk, I had to get one of those. I went to the "As seen on Tv" store in Lenoir City and bought me one in pink and D one in black. My pink one went bust and I just took his, cause he thought it was dippy. On TV the people would shave their eyebrows, trim their ears and nose hairs. It seemed like for every kid I had, I got a hair somewhere it should not be. My eyebrows were thick as all get out. So I was gonna trim them up real nice on TV....with the utensil they give you and all.

uuummmm no

Cause see....they don't really tell you how to hold and angle the utensil, so I shaved my right eyebrow off partially. It was idiotic.
So I was just looking at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out how am I gonna fix this.

When this amazing idea came into my head about shaving out my nose hairs. I became distracted by that and forgot about my bisected eyebrow. So I thrust the black stick with a mini shaver into my nostril and went to town. I examined my handy work, all looked well, and super clean, I was feelin pretty good about my mini shaver again till I remember little half pint sittin above my right eye.

The kids thought it was a riot and so did D, in fact..... I think he might have thought I was an idiot too.

But here's the thing, let me tell on somebody......... my girlfriend Christi came to my house one day. She had already observed my mishap and had a good chuckle. My eyebrow had grown back somewhat quickly. But despite the fact I told her not to use the retched utensil, she assured me she would be careful, and she my house.

I had an extra one and she took it home and shaved off her eyebrow in the privacy of her own home. She had to go get hers done by a professional cause she lives in town... where people actually see her everyday.

I hated to laugh, but I was due cause everyone already laughed at me.

Ok, here is another thing, when you shave all yer nose hair sneeze yer butt off all day, everyday for like 4 weeks or something...... cause there is nothing there to keep that stuff from going into your airways.

So don't do that, unless you are a man and you can physically see hairs sticking out of your nose.....cause that is really gross, shave that off, just not all that other stuff inside.

So I still have D's little black mini shaver. I use it to shave my uni brow white hairs in between my eyebrows. Sometimes when I feel reckless, I will shave the very edges of my eyebrows that are trying to grow to my ears.

Sky fighting with Cole in the backseat and determined to finish the fight with the last words

Sky - "Cole, why don't you go soak your head in a toilet??!!"

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