I am just not feeling your flow............

um.............I been busy.

Looks like this:

Monday - school, treadmill for two miles, shove some kind of nutrition down the throats of all my people, clogging studio, soccer field, clogging studio, home @ 10:30 P freaking M.

Tuesday - school, treadmill for two miles, shove some kind of nutrition down the throats of all my people, this is appt afternoon and errands on this side of town, or maybe some yard work, and hopefully dinner with the fam if no one knocks their teeth out  or needs stitches.

Wednesday - school, treadmill for two miles, shove some kind of nutrition down the throats of all my people, orthodontist, church

Thursday - school, shove some kind of nutrition down the throats of all my people at 5:50am, pack a cooler full of food and drinks, head for the home school co-op at the butt crack of dawn, to the gym, grocery store, home and rest for a couple hours, then to soccer field for two 1/2 hours sometimes.

Friday - school, hate on the treadmill and curse it... cause for 5 weeks I been hittin the thing and have lost a whopping TWO pounds (I know right?  Don't say push away from the table Amy...CAUSE I AM!), shove some kind of nutrition down the throats of all my people, and hope for some yard work that wasn't done Tuesday to get done, then dinner with the fam if no one knocks their teeth out or needs stitches.

Saturday - treadmill for two miles, D shoves a real nutritious breakfast down all of our throats(this morning - amazing Belgian waffles with bananas on top for me with a tad of syrup for taste and turkey bacon...even dairy free ones for Sky), soccer and the to the gym.

Sunday - sheer chaos getting ready for church, church, cook, clean it up, decompress for the rest of the day .....cause guess what?  Monday always is the next day, it never fails.

Not that any of this is relevant to anyone butt me...but I can remember when one of my best girlfriends, Cindi & I swore we would NEVER be on this type of schedule.  Both her schedule and mine are so crowded now with our children getting older and into activities that we NEVER see one another.  This is such a loss to me.  It feels like one of my arms is missing or something.  Like I am always looking for something and never find it.

This is something I HATE......when I catch myself saying, "I'm sorry we haven't _______(fill in the blank) but, we've just been so busy."

This says to me......I am busy and I don't have time for you.


While it may be true that we are busy and I completely understand when folks say it to me, it's just not how I want to be.  

I bumped into Sarah at the community center the other night signing CB up for soccer (I am surely a dang glutton for punishment) and D to coach his team.....cause CB said he would play and D did not have to be coerced into coaching, cause he actually enjoyed it last year much to his surprise.

Okay...I bumped into Sarah, who is my next door neighbor and also one of my best girlfriends ......I hadn't spent any time with her in weeks.....so strange to casually pass each other and cram small talk and important talk into 15 to 20 minutes of go time.

I also ran into another neighbor at the community center. He tried to get me to sign up for a learn about the constitution class that lasts all day on a Saturday. He told me that he would just come by my house on Friday and tell me all about his business at the community center.  When I explained to him I was busy on Friday, he pressed he would come Saturday....

Sorry, busy.

Sunday then.....church....

Okay then Monday....um, how about NO!

Sorry busy all day.....which is the truth.  He seemed to be kinda put off that I didn't jump on this opportunity.

In my mind I'm all, Dude, I am here to sign up for soccer, I don't really care about your class, I am super sure you are a well meaning, cool fellow, but I am just not feeling your flow, you know what I mean.


I'm not speaking for Sarah, but I am kinda....I don't think she was feeling his flow 100% either.  We were both exhausted for different reasons and trying to cram a months worth of missed conversation into 15 minutes of paper work and walking to the car.

Besides, May took a constitution class ALL DANG YEAR last year and I do not want to sit through another constitution class on a Saturday.....at least not until Obama isn't president anymore.....

.....whatever, don't be a hater Obama lovers.

Sooooooo......at one time Cindi & I had decided to move to the compound and just combine our families and divide up chores, cooking,  and schooling....she was going to be to light blue dress family and I the beige dress family....I have another friend who wants to move to the compound with us I told her she would have to be the lavender dress family cause blue was already taken.

On the compound, all the outside stuff that contaminates and takes up all our time is a mute point.  I can have my own chickens and some goats like other good little home school families.  I won't have to pay ridiculous amounts for gas every week cause I don't have to go anywhere.  We can all just get on our compound bus and drive together....well I don't know.... that would be to many kids at the grocery store, that's a not desirable thought. They would have to stay home and knit or something.....let me shake that thought off.

 There is much to said for the simple life.

 In fact when we have our community yard sale, I'm going to go nuts getting rid of every dang thing in my house that I have to dust or keep track of.  What I don't sell I am thinking of just putting a free sign on it and letting the scavengers have at it......I swear.

Okay, gotta go, the clock is chasing me around the house reminding me that he comes first....and now D has fixed the kids lunch and he fixed Sky the most delicious smelling dairy free pizza.  He's awesome, I love him so much.

I so gotta tell you about May's research paper for biology. She did it on Genetically Modified Foods, it has me completely wigged out.  You know how I was all on "the government is trying to kill us" conspiracy thing?  This paper didn't help that runaway train.

S is for accepting me for trying.........

I am on day 6 or 7 without a night of uninterrupted sleep.

It started last Tuesday night with Cole peeing in the bed at 2:30AM...remember?

Since then Sky has been having Gag Fest 2010. The days had gotten worse so I took her to the doc, who told me, "He didn't really know what was wrong with her." The doc gave her a Z-pac(sp?)antibiotic, for no reason apparently...just to keep it from turning into something else.

That was on a Friday.

Tuesday I took her back in worse than on Friday, with her pink Easter bucket in tow. It's her gagging to the point of throwing up bucket. We have had it for 2 or 3 years now. Caesar's wife, Cornelia, gave Sky a shiny new one this year, full of wonderful goodies. We'll save Cornelia's bucket for carrying good things.

The nurse was all, "Would you like to have a bag instead?"

A- No, this bucket is well christened, and besides we don't throw up in in any old bag you know? We throw up in our COACH stylin Easter bucket.

This Easter bucket is Sky's personal throw up bucket. It has its own place in her bathroom.

So they checked her for pneumonia, she's good. The doc sends her home and ups her steroids for a couple days and relays when she gets off the antibiotic and so forth we can check her sed rate again for more inflammation and go from there. Bring her back Monday so he can look at her.

Cole drank out of Sky's water bottle, he's getting sick.

Yesterday afternoon, the tree cutters cut a tree down onto the power lines..... power goes off, no one gets in or out of the abyss down here....and its hot in the house.....cough, cough, cough, gag, gag, gag....COLE PEE'S THROUGH HIS NIGHT TIME DIAPO @ 3:00AM just after getting settled back into bed after a gag-a-paloosa with Sky!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, pull my hair out strand by strand with tweezers to finish off my torture!

My attitude is on the hairy edge of razor sharp sarcasm. D told me on the phone last night, as I relayed to him he could not get in to the house because of the down tree and power lines, that I have had a bad attitude for three weeks...something like this, "It's like you drank a glass of piss and vinegar and just can't put it down."

I couldn't argue with him, cause I know it's true. I am so tired, from not sleeping and going all day, that I have to try really, REALLY hard to be nice. I am doing okay most of the day, but the bad attitude slips out if just one little crack in the door opens while I am speaking with someone.

Here is a good thing though. Because the power was out, Sarah came a knockin to waste some time with me and bring me some clothes from LJ's Boutique (her son's hand me downs, for which I am very grateful). So I was able to unload my bad attitude on her without judgement and say some things that should have been left unsaid out loud and let go of them. I know I should confess those things to the Lord, as I know a bad attitude is passed on just like a smile is.

I have confessed them to Him.

.........but Sarah...... she lets me be me without holding it against me. I can really appreciate that.

I know, that Sarah knows, I am stronger in Christ, than a moment of bad attitude. She knows I will put my "glass of piss and vinegar" down, in fact pour it down the drain, if I can just ask her to share it with me first.

Sometimes she'll drink it with me. Sometimes she'll take it from me and pour it down the drain herself before I contaminate her.

Thank you Lord for sending me Sarah who doesn't judge me for a moment, but as a whole, accepts me for trying hard.

I can't turn my head without turning my whole body.........

I had the most awesome weekend. It was one of those weekends where everything despite a full schedule just comes together. It should be rushed, but some how time stands still and its okay that it isn't.

Friday was beautiful. We finished school early and walked the drained lake beaches combing for the usual 50 huge clams in several zip loc bags and a shoe. Kids got in the water a bit and had to walk back wet as usual, so we managed to keep that tradition well in tact. While on the beach we met a new family in our neighborhood. Well actually just the mom and her young toddling girl.

They were bundled up in sweaters, socks, and shoes, trying not to be muddy.....and here comes my brood with shorts, no shoes, and mud to the calves minimum. Hollering to me from afar how they have just found "the rare beer can" and that I should come and look.....oh and this too, "Mom!! Listen!! I can make the mud make fart sounds(insert 2 children fast farting and slow farting with the mud slop & having great jolly with it)."

I had this shirt on that was 2 whole dollars at Walmart the other day, that read, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am." I bought a couple $2 shirts to mow the lawn in and so forth, cause you can't make a dang shirt for $2. I wondered what type of first impression I or we made on the new neighbors. It scared me a little , even though I felt we talked well, and of Christ too.

I invited her to sit under the tree with Sarah and I if she was out walking and ever saw us out gabbing. She seemed glad about the invite, but still.....clearly we seemed a contrast to one another as we stood there on the beach. She, hair pulled back neatly in a pony tail, & her daughter with mud on her pink ballet flats with precious little flowers, waving goodbye to us as we moved on......we.....shorts, boasting shirts & afro hair blowing everywhere, unable to be tamed by a flowered bobby pin, muddy, and loud......eeesh, I have to hope for the best.
















Saturday, a day full of awesome.

Read the paper with D a bit, and worked on my curriculum for next year, cleaned the house a bit while he sprayed weed killer outside. I worried he was going to spray to the wrong flowers to spite me. I figured oh well, if he does I will just grow some more.

Later in the day we attended a wedding for a girlfriend named Lisa R.(now Lisa B!). It was so dang fun! This is why.....cause it was the first wedding I have been to in a while that I felt like this is gonna last.

She had great music as we waited for her to enter that made me feel joy to be at her wedding. Once the deed was done the two left the sanctuary husband and wife to the song Signed, Sealed, Delivered, by Stevie Wonder. How could one not be happy and wear a smile?

Her husband is Hungarian. He is handsome. He is a Chef. D told Andras if Lisa kicked him to the curb, he would marry him. We sat with Lisa's dad at the reception where the food rocked every taste bud in my head. The dad told us without being prompted, if Lisa didn't marry him, he would take him....we all laughed, cause we understood how good the food Andras had prepared was. Music at the reception was awesome, it was beautiful outside where we ate and watched all the little girls have their own dance party.

I had told D we'd help him get some stuff at the church set up for Sunday, so we all had to leave a bit early which kinda stunk. However, since we were in separate cars, as usual....The girls and I stayed for the cake cutting, which was a blessing straight from taste bud heaven. Lisa asked me if I wanted some to take home.........um, yes.............could you just box up the whole middle layer please, thanks.

Lisa's smile of happiness made my heart overflow with love for her. I am so glad she invited our family. I would have totally missed out on something fun & special that day.

After that we worked at the church till, 7:15 or 7:20 or something. The girls and I singing karaoke Shania Twain, Amy Grant, Kingdom Heirs and whatever else he needed us to do for him to adjust some equalizer or something...then D pretended to be a typical Southern Baptist hell, fire, and brimstone preacher so I could adjust the lapel mike for Pastor Mike the next day. Which was completely hilarious...you can ask Lauren Woody.....she caught some of that.

.....and last but not least for the icing on the perfect day....NEW MOON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazon Video on Demand gave me a freebie for New Moon cause of the pre-order DVD thing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jacob with short hair SCREEEEAMMMM like a teeny bopper, and break a sweat, blink my eyes uncontrollably, holy moly, the New Moon video is about 1000 times better that the first Twilight movie in every way. As soon as I get my hands on the DVD coming to my mailbox today I hope, I am going to watch it about 100 more times....I can feel it already coming. Angie B if you haven't seen New Moon girl, you cannot have mine, BUT I will swoon with you as soon as you get your own. :oD

We'll discuss it, over a brisk 3 mile walk at the track.

Sunday....I knew Monday was coming. It was cloudy, rainy, my neck was killing me, arthritis in my hips and left shoulder wreaking havoc on my posture. It was still a good day though, just someone turned the fun volume down a bit.

We went to eat Mexican food after church. Then on to Home Depot where they had put out that black colored, dog crap smelling mulch that literally made Sky gag all the way in the door. Then I had to exercise severe restraint in the plant department. D did let me get a really nice piece of pottery to put one of Poppy's plants left over from his funeral. I hate house plants, but for obvious reasons I cannot allow this one to go uncared for. It needs a bigger pot. I love the one we got. Sky got a new bigger pot for her aloe plant also, pink and green.

This was my weekend to catch up with all the Kathy's in my life. The one, Kathy L., I have known my whole life, we crammed as much conversation in about 45 minutes as we could. I felt very satisfied that we had connected, her voice brings me nostalgic peace. I love her.

Kathy V. lives down the street but gosh, we're both moms and conversation passing each other in the halls at church during pick up and drop off isn't always enough. We stayed an hour or more after church Sunday night gabbing it up... in the rain even.... about everything from testosterone, school, musical instruments, to our possibly future illiterate youngest children, cause life is so busy we just want them to go to bed at night instead of read. Great quality time with her even if it did rain on us. Though we are both sweet, we did not melt.

As I said though I knew Monday was coming still cause it just got more and more rainy. D's work people called all night long....from 1:30am on.....I can't log on, try this, try that, turn the bedroom lights on, where's my glasses? I can't see a freakin thing, turn the valve on, turn the valve off, turn the valve on, turn the valve off........I finally went to get in the bed with Sky..... cause MAYSIE won't met me sleep with her anymore.

Sky slept all over me, all night. With her sweaty, sticky, big, magic belly in my face, on my back, on my legs.....toss, turn, phone rings, Jenny wants in the bed with us, magic belly on my back again, her fingers tangled in my hair, and so on, and so on, and so on.....and guess what? It's 6:30am.....Cole's awake.

...and I have this horrible crick in my neck. I can't turn my head without turning my whole body....I have "Aunt Helen" disease(that's for mom and Terri :oD ).

Happy Monday??

write it on the shower door fog..........

Here are some imbecilic gifts to get the imbeciles in your life.

Choice #1




"Do you have a hard time finding eco-friendly presents for loved ones? Well there is no need to get down in the dumps! Panda Poo Paper accessories are made from real droppings, gathered from Giant Pandas in China. They are 100% recyclable and don’t raise a stink… they are completely odorless!
Panda Poo Paper accessories include items such as greeting cards, scratch pads, and journals. Check it out and get your mind out of the toilet! A little potty humor never hurt a panda!"..............pure idiocy

So they are shipping this from from China. How “Eco Friendly” are products shipped from half way around the world? Wouldn't they be just as bad if not worse than say...... something made locally??

Choice #2 (no pun intended)


"Its eco-friendly paper made from recycled elephant waste fibers, includes an informational pamphlet on elephants and the making of this product".....in case you are to small brained to understand how elephants make poops.......

"Features "The Great Elephant Poo Poo Paper Company Design," its Acid-Free, Lignin-Free; Plain, Recycled Paper Paper" ......it has no bearing on whether it came from poops originally......the important thing here to understand is,

that they are "acid-free."

PLUS they come in pink and blue poops colors too!!

They must feed the elephants Lucky Charms and Trix.....cause you know your body doesn't process all that dye and those cereals will turn your poops bright green or some wicked unnatural color. It's true. Once my mother-in-law called me to the room to see Sky's poops in the toilet because she had eaten Lucky charms at her house, cause I don't by that crap at my house, cause my people only eat the charms........anyway the poops was neon green, I swear. I shoulda scraped it out and made some cards with it.....who freakin knew it would be so earth friendly to do that........

I am crazy about elephants, penguins & turtles right now....but come on.

If you just can't get enough poops
here's the web link
to get the real scoops

cheesy pun intended......

http://www.poopoopaper.com/

choice #3

The Droodle Waterproof Notepad.....

"It works great! It's a great way to leave love notes to your spouse if you share bathrooms as we do. Also great way to memorize scripture verses. Thank you." - Guy Cangelosi (tape the scripture on yer mirror dude, read it when you dry yer dumb hair)

....says the testimony on the site for this must have total waste of cash.

Who freaking just cannot wait till they get out of the dumb shower to write a note. I know we all get thoughts in the shower. But really...... isn't life busy enough without multitasking in the shower.

I mean, women already have to condition our hair while we shave. We have to scrub & exfoliate our faces while we rinse out the conditioner, while trying not to step on Hot Wheels. Now we are supposed to read a love note from our spouse too......eeesh, it's too much.

If D needs to leave me a note, let him write it on the shower door fog and when it re-fogs up when I take a shower I will read then.....its free.

They also suggest you can use it at the pool..........whatever.

Cause when have you ever been swimming, having a great time, and whipped your notepad out of your sewn in underwear in your bathing suit....only to find it was wet. DANG!! If you'd only had The Droodle.

http://www.thedroodle.com/

..................................................................................

Went to see Handel's Messiah with Sarah at Farragut Presbyterian Church. It was beautiful. The UT Chamber Singers & UT Chorale mixed with Presb. church choir and the UT Orchestra, simply fab!!!! Then we went for some Starbucks. It was a super way to kick off the holiday season.

aawww, he'd just had some road rash, it woulda healed, he'd been fine lookin..........

I been so dang busy.

This past Friday I participated in the community "tard sale." Cause "t" & "y" are close to each other on the keyboard, my outlook calendar told me Friday was the day of the "tard sale."

I wondered which of my kids I could sell that day.

anyway.....I made $70 or so, that enabled me to go to Mimi's Cafe today after church with Sarah for an amazing breakfast in the middle of the day. They serve breakfast till 3:00, AWESOME! I had the new thick blueberry french toast with this blueberry cream and fresh blueberries & strawberries on top with two eggs over easy and three piece of bacon, fresh grapefruit juice, and two mocha lattes.........and so much girl chatter that Sarah and I hardly breathed till she dropped me off in my driveway at 4:30. I passed D coming in as he was heading back to church this evening. I love him for letting me go to lunch, breakfast....lunch.....breakfast for lunch, whatever....with Sarah, cause I love Sarah. I don't care how good or bad I am, Sarah loves me. Even when I am bad she may not say it right out, but I know she doesn't agree with me, I can dig it that she doesn't always agree with me.

.....though today she agreed with me on everything and I agreed with her on everything......probably cause we were giddy with delight to eat and gab in peace with no one tugging on us to get a drink, go to the bathroom, or some one hit some one. In fact I am not 100% she nor I knows what the other said as we squeezed so much conversation into a 3 hour time span....I remember this....mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, this is so good, mmmmmmmm, so glad I ordered this, mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmm, another mocha latte? yes please.......mmmmmmm, no I don't want any of yours it will ruin my perfect taste, something about Genera hyper color shirts, elevators stopping on every floor and some angel at Krystal's or something.

OK, back to the "tard sale," so the first shoppers were 2 ladies. I am 100% sure they were baptists by the way they were talking. One lady is young but looks old cause she is dressed way to old for her age, the other lady is old and gossipy about something "that is a shame that she don't git ta see them kids cause they need thar momma." Then she goes on to say her church is having revival and all about the revival. She never once asks me to come to her church revival, not that I would have, but I sort of thought that was the point of havin revival....to revive the community. So I ask her, "Are you all Baptist?"

lady- uh, yeah , Shoog(southern short for sugar), we are, why'd you ask?

A- I just heard you talk about revival and all....(and about other folks and "that's justa shame" and all)

Lady- oh, uh huh.....(goes on gossiping about the girl who don't get to see her kids and heads out)

Later on in the day I meet a total hillbilly with overalls and a torn up white t-shirt, skinny, fellow, with a dirty baseball cap, and some teeth........but a SUPER SWEET guy. He can't believe I am selling children's books for 25 cents and wants to know which ones a 3 year old would like. He looks at the pages, notices the colors and 3 year old friendly things in the books and buys 5 books for his girlfriend's little boy. He also buys him a jacket and I throw in some other things cause he is such cool, mild, loving guy, looking for things that will make the mom and the little boy happy. I hope they liked what he bought.

Then, one of the last guys to come to the "tard sale" is a 55 year old, married 4 times, Santa Claus looking man, who looks 65 or 70 to me and his 21 year old youngest boy of three kids by his last wife of 26 years, who he "reckons he will keep." They are looking for fishing gear, tools, & motorcycle stuff. I inform him my husband has no gear cause he's banned from motorcycles till his kids are grown. I explain to him the wreck and the importance of his life to my family....and how his face woulda been peeled off if he hadn't been wearing a super good helmet.

The man proceeds to school me on how dangerous helmets are, and how there are no good helmets. How they are the most dangerous piece of equipment a rider can wear. To which I tell him D would have a messy face without it...... I am for helmets, to which he informs me .....

Biker Santa-aawww, he'd just had some road rash, it woulda healed, he'd been fine lookin

A- I'm still for helmets I don't care....

Biker Santa- I can't hear that good, what?

A- (talking significantly louder)I'm still for helmets I don't care....

Biker Santa- Them thangs can break yer neck, now....... you put yer fingers on the side of yer face on the eyes you got no peripheral vision....do it, ya see that?

A- (I do it, he is correct)- I' don't care, I am still for helmets.....

Biker Santa- You know when I had my kids my wife quit ridin so ya know, two parents wouldn't be killed ridin, jist one, I had all my kids from tha time theyz one on a motorcycle

A- Good Lord man, did they wear a helmet?

Biker Santa- I can't hear that good, say it again, what?

A- (louder) Did they wear a helmet?!

Biker Santa - They all ride bikes, .....have been their whole lives, I been in 5 wrecks. I dun hit or been hit by 5 cars ridin (starts listing all his broken bones, so many I can't remember them all) and on top of that I been stabbed and shot too.

A- Good Lord man, maybe ridin motorcycles is something you should reconsider, if I wuz yer wife I'd been dun grounded you.

Biker Santa- shooooot, I'm 55 years old Ma'am, I ride a Harley on one wheel with the front wheel in the air with my wife ridin behind me.

A- Good Lord Man! Do you hear yourself talkin?!! That is pure madness, I couldn't be married to you!!

(the son is smiling and headin back to the truck)

Biker Santa- My son right thar, his friends told'em, I like riding in tha truck with yer daddy, he drives crazy.

A- Well, why can't you hear?(cause now I am dang hollerin in my garage and it's stupid)

Biker Santa- cause I was fightin at bar when I was younger, that's when I got shot

A- In yer dang ear?!

Biker Santa- Nope, in my arm and shoulder, but we'z all fightin, I got hit in tha ear,...... I'z in high school then......

A- .....and you got in a bar fight?!! Good Lord man, it's time you settle yer butt down, put that Harley on two wheels. You ain't drinkin no more is ya?

Biker Santa- oh no Ma'am, cause last time I drove 749 miles across some states and 10 miles before I got home I fell asleep ridin and my kids thought I wuz drunk, so I stopped drinkin while I was ridin cause I didn't want them ta worry bout me drinkin and drivin. I like to talk .....(he's smilin at me and he is quite charming, his son's standin by the truck still smilin)

A- (hollerin to the son)- Is yer daddy just jackin around with me tellin me all this stuff?

Son- No Ma'am...he's crazy, but I love him crazy like that. He does like ta talk now......

A- Alright, well all I gots children's stuff and some Christmas decorations, can you pop a wheelie on any of that?

Biker Santa- (smiling showing me perfectly white straight teeth) I can poppa wheelie in this truck Hun if you give a minute....(he's laughin, walking away) You have a good weekend Hun and tell yer husband he needs to get his woman in line and get another bike.......

A- I hear ya, don't run over my plants backin up, Bye!!

They wave me off, still smilin.....I bet them two had a nice weekend.

......."tard sales" are a lot of work, but the people that come by are kinda fun.

Well, God love him if that's the worst thing he does.......

When I was growing up my mom would always say this about my brother, "Well, God love him if that's the worst thing he does."

**catch a bush on fire, "Well, God love him if that's the worst thing he does."

• **put the car into gear trying to be helpful at age 7 or 8 or something, then get out and get behind the car to try and stop it from moving, "Well, God love him if that's the worst thing he does."


• **throw trash down the ravine instead of walking it to the dumpster like he was supposed to, then having to make him pick it all up, "Well, God love him if that 's the worst thing he does."

You know how crazy boys are......they just do stuff that literally drives one to a state psychotic lunacy.....

.....okay so Sarah comes over to help Maysie make some tags for her gift bags for her birthday party early last week. We do some embossing with pink embossing powder. The tags turn out beautifully. I hadn't fully cleaned off the table, mostly but not fully.

I hadn't wiped up the pink embossing powder. Zac strolls over to the table going on about whatever he is going on about and sees the pink powder on the table......

......since boys eat anything that looks remotely edible at this age he licks his finger sticks it in the embossing powder says, "mmm, who spilled the fun dip?"

I'm like nobody has any Fun Dip what the heck are you talkin about.....When I look at the table I tell him he has eaten embossing powder. He immediately starts to gag and runs to rinse his mouth out.....but I'm like just a second ago you said "mmmm"...now it taste gross?

"Well, God love him if that's the worst thing he does."

...okay so Sunday church is just about over, he is sitting behind me with his buddies and their dad. He goes walking out of the sanctuary at pretty fast pace holding his face. I think he has lost a tooth and its bleeding or something. A friend of his in front of us looks at me, I shrug, cause I don't know what's wrong with him, I just work here. I turn behind me and look at Logan, who relays to me that he thinks Zac has gum stuck on his face.

I say to the dad, who knows my kid pretty well, "Who gets gum stuck on their face?"

"Your kid," and he laughs...we're all leaving to go home and saying our goodbyes and blah, blah, blah, Z pushing through to me holding his face in a panic... telling me how he can't get the gum off.

First, it's not just a little gum on his face......it's a lot-tle gum on his face, it starts at the outside of his left nostril and makes an oval onto his cheek towards his ears down his face onto the bottom side of his chin and back up towards the left corner of his lip. He has apparently been in the bathroom scrubbing it with a piece of paper towel.....I know this cause now paper towel is stuck all over the gum stuck all over his face...... which is red where he has been scrubbing.

He is telling me something but I don't understand him & can't hear him that well cause two other people are talking to me at the same time. I am trying to multi task by listening to all three. I go on out the door heading to my car chatting it up the whole way to this one and that one, Zac is no where in sight.

That is because he is waiting on me in the bathroom to help him clean his face up.

So now we are at the car talking with our youth pastor, Tony, and we are about the only ones left in the parking lot waiting on Z. He comes running down the handicap ramp and jumps into the van trying to hide because he doesn't want Tony to see him although Tony already knows he has gum stuck all over his face. We tease him a bit and Tony pretends to take a cell pic with his phone we all laugh at the fake pic. Zac doesn't know whether to be mad at me or laugh with us. He wants to laugh cause he knows how ridiculous this is but, refuses to get out of the car so I can help him.

Just so you know there was no chance I was going to ever crawl in the very backseat of our van and scrub gum off his face. He could get his gummy butt out of the car. So we all say our goodbyes to Tony and finally Z gets to the front of the car wear I can see his face. He still has paper and gum wads all over his left cheek and chin. His face is totally redden from scrubbing......
I say, "Why didn't you just use some hot water and some soap?"

uuuuuuuhh deer in the headlights look and all the angels from heaven with their trumpets sounding, shined light on my words in his mind.

Z- I don't know, I just didn't think..........

Today is Monday, he has a 2 inch scrubbing scab from his left nostril to his left lip corner, it's insanity.

"Well, God love him if that's the worst thing he does."

When I get home from work I will pee on it..........

I hate bees.

One of the many things I am going to ask God when I get to heaven is what was the purpose of making dang bees.......

I mean couldn't He have made some birds to do pollinating or only made the honey bees.

I was mowing the grass yesterday and bumped the tire swing with the mower. There has been this wasp hanging around the tire swing, I knew it but totally forgot. I had told the kids not to be on the tire swing till I checked it out.

I had been meaning to kill the wasp.

Cause that is what I am good at....killing animals, and I never even have to use a gun.

When we lived in Santa Fe, NM we used propane gas. So you had to call this gal who was super nice until you crossed her. You would call her, tell her you need gas, she would get all your tank info and estimate how much gas it would take to fill up and you left a check under the lid.

No check= no gas.

It was a total sham. I ask her one day, suppose I use less than you estimate and I have the check already written, will you refund my money?

......too many questions and I crossed her. With her New Mexican accent she proceeds to tell me off , then doesn't send out a gas truck to fill us up. D calls her back, cause I am furious, she tells him off & hangs up on him. So D says something like if you don't listen to what I am going to say and you hang up on me again ....I am going to come down there and bust that door in and by God you will listen to me. She proceeds to tell D he is threatening her and she is going to call the police. We just wants some dang gas....so we can cook, bathe, and heat........

.....all this leads to the truck finally coming out and all parties agree that we'll not speak to one another any more. This thrills me cause I feel like I want to jack her up anyway.

So the truck finally comes nearly a week after I had ask the Santa Fe Propane Princess about my money and she chewed my butt out. At my front door I see this big Doberman Pincher staring in my front door, vertical, side window. I go to open the door to shoo him off .....he growls and shows me his teeth. M & Z are small children. I am thinking what the heck, this dog is showing me his teeth at MY front freakin door. I am going to kill it.

So I go and get D's pellet gun and I start to put the pellets in and pump, pump, pump......my adrenaline is pumping too, cause I am going to really shoot something and for a good reason. I shall not miss -you can put that in yer pipe and smoke it , the dog will surely be wounded.

I hear an engine though.... and I stop the maniac running through my mind shooting at a rabid dog.

It's the propane truck. I go through the garage and ask the guy if its his dog he says yes and proceeds to call him over. I tell him I almost shot him because he is showing me his teeth at my front door and I have two small children. The propane guy really doesn't care and lets his dumb crappin dog run wild in my garage were my kids are at.

The dog craps in my garage, I am thinkin ...Oh he'll apologize and clean this up......we're talkin a bit now and I realize this guy is the owner of the propane business we buy the gas from. So I fill his ears to capacity about the chick who answers the phone...and about what if we over pay do we get any of our money back if we don't use the amount of gas she estimates........

He is a total moron.......he apologizes for being late with the gas and then tells me "Well......you know?.... Santa Fe isn't really known for their customer service."

A- What?!
propane man - yeah, sorry....
A- You know if I owned this house I would have my husband roll this tank to the curb and you would loose this business. I guarantee you I will not refer people to use your business either.
propane man - (goes on about his business & small talk as if he hasn't heard me and leaves his dog crap in my garage.)

I almost picked that dog crap up with my bare hands and threw it at him. I had my temper on severe restraint. I thought I might actually grow some dang horns.

So all this to say I have come close to killing an animal with a gun, but I never have really went through with it.

........so I bumped the tire swing yesterday mowing. The wasp comes flying out and KA POW!!!!! Right in my right forearm, nails me with a fat sting. I hadn't been stung by a wasp before so it took me by surprise. Lenny Kravitz was singing in my ear buds "I want to to get away, I want to get away, I want to flyyyyyy away...yeah, yeah, yeah."

Went inside called Sarah, she had nothin for me, kids were on the computer so I couldn't google it.....just about then D calls from work. I explain to him my dilema, he tells he will pee on it when he gets home. I opt out of that and just go for the ice cube.

So today, my whole right arm is killing me. Like I have carpel tunnel or something. It is pretty dang itchy too. I never did kill the stupid wasp.

I do that tomorrow, if I don't forget again.