Thursday, October 29, 2009
Z asks him what wrong, cause he wasn't paying attention to Cole. Cole tells him, "I have high cweam stuck in my forehead, but I okay now."....and he continues on spooning it in.
Acts chapter 4 closes by stating that the Christian believers in the early Church did not consider their possessions to be their own, but they had all things in common, and that a church member, Barnabas, sold a plot of land and donated the profit to the apostles. Ananias and Sapphira also sold their land, but withheld a portion of the sales, having decided that they did not wish to give it all to the common purse.
In chapter 5, Ananias presented his donation to Peter claiming that it was the entire amount. Peter replied, "Why is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit?" Peter pointed out that Ananias was in control of the money and could give or keep it as he saw fit, but that he had withheld it from Peter and lied about it, and stated that Ananias had not only lied to Peter, but also to God. Ananias died on the spot, and as a result, everyone who heard the tale became afraid. Three hours later, his wife told the same lie and suffered the same fate. (this exerpt take from wikipedia)
Some believe that this donation was not a free choice. If it were, Ananias and his wife would not have attempted to conceal their retention of some of their money, which they clearly wanted to do. Instead, they were forced into concealing their choice - and paying the ultimate price when this was discovered.
Others interpret this donation as a free choice. However, Ananias attempted to look pious in front of others while secretly hiding some of his wealth. This greed culminated in lying to the Holy Spirit in which he was killed for.
So we were discussing telling lies, and how so and so had lied about so and so activity.
Z- You would have to be pretty bold to lie to God
A- but they didn't think they were lying to God, it was just Peter.
Z- I'm not sure I would have wanted to be friends with Peter, I mean you coulda been walkin down the road and lie to him and fall out dead.
May-(insert nerdy Steve Urkel voice)- Why yes, Peter, I took a bath today? SMOTE!
(insert a hill-billy voice over) Hey what's that roasted fish smell?....(insert valley girl voice) ooooohh, he so didn't take a bath.....
Z thinks this little commentary is hilarious and falls out laughing. At first I don't get it then when I do, the voice overs get me and I start laughing. Then Z and I are laughing at each other cause he thinks I don't really get the commentary and I am laughing at him cause I think he doesn't get the commentary........So I explain it to him what Maysie has implied, and he tells me,
Z- I get it mom, you paused, so I thought you didn't get it and were laughing to be included
May- (shaking her head at us, like we are two stupids....still laughing at each other)
Sky had her second set of biopsies this past Monday to see if her medication is working. While they were in they put a PH Monitoring Probe. This is usually done to smaller children, but sometimes older kids will have to do this. This thing is basically a telephone wire that goes through nose, down her throat, and into her belly. It monitors acid levels for 24 hours or so.
They had taped the wire coming out her nose onto her face and behind her ear. When we brought Sky home she was still groggy and wasn't messing with the set up to much. As she really awoke she started to panic and just go nuts about wanting the thing out, she was stomping her feet and pitching a fit, if her eyes would have had lasers they would have killed me, she was so aggravated.
I had to hold her hands down and beg her not to yank the thing out. I explained to her if she took it out we'd have to go back and do this all over again.
So after some coaxing she decided she would try really hard to stay busy and leave her hands off of it and just try to deal with it till the next morning when we could pull it out.
I left her to watch some TV and continue to get unloopy. When I came back to check on her I said, "Sky can I get you anything?"
In the most sarcastic voice I have ever heard from her little body, "uuuuhh, yeah, how about something to yank this out with, do you have that?"
I had to snicker cause she was still pretty agitated and her eyes were telling the story.
Those of you that know her well, know the I am really angry with you look, she can't hide it well at all.......I am feeling those of you that know the look saying, "yep" shaking your heads that you know it. Nana, I am feelin you know it the strongest LOL
I found 12 more 4 leaf clovers.......
Thursday, October 22, 2009
He smelled like pee.
I asked him if he peed in the bed and he said, "No." Proof that we do not teach our children to lie, even as small children, sin is inside of them.
So I feel his clothing in the dark without my contacts in, which means I see nothing but blackness, it's all about sound and smell. His clothes feel wet and his clothes smell wet. I drag myself out of bed, pull his pajamas off and tell him to wait while I get a warm rag to rub him off with.
While the water in the bathroom is warming, I meander to his room to find his bed wet. Not just a little wet, but soaking wet. He has a water proof mattress cover on his bed so as to keep his new mattress from being ruined. I have NEVER had a child pee in the bed as much as he does NEVER!!!! Even if he goes potty before he goes to bed, he pees......if he has nothing to drink, he pees.....through a Goodnights diaper thingy for kids who pee at night, he pees through them......it's killing me.
His sheets are wet, his quilt is wet, his mattress pad is wet, so wet it has run down the pad and onto this fluffy removable thing that makes the mattress soft underneath the mattress pad....it's wet, the whole room smells like urine....I want to cry. I strip off all the bedding and unzipped the fluffy thing and drag it to my bathroom where the water is now piping hot and still running.
I cool the rag a bit and begin to sponge Cole off and he is screaming cause its 4 in the morning and this isn't what he had planned, nor I at this time. I realize a warm cloth is not going to get the smell off of him and determine he is going to need a bath before going back to bed.
I fill the bath tub with warm water and throwing him into the tub he is now in full out scream cause he wants to go back to bed and I am wash, wash, washing him from head to toe with soap, in a hurry.
I dry him off, make him pee in the toilet, new "night-time diapo" on, fresh pajamas and into my bed he goes....I threaten him if I so much as hear a peep or see him up out of the bed, I will turn into a 8 snake haired woman full of insanity and he will pay for it.
I refill the tub with warm soapy water and put the fluff into the water. I begin to stomp around on the fluff so as to be the washing machine agitator. Stomp, stomp, stomp, flip, stomp, stomp stomp, flip, stomp, stomp, stomp , flip....on and on...till I feel the fluff is significantly cleaned and ready for rinsing.....rinse rinse, rinse......ring, ring, ring, the thing dry for an eternity and my arms are aching from lifting the 200 pound wet fluff. I haul it to my dryer and hope for the best.
I load the sheets and mattress cover into the washer. Now I needed to finish off Cole's room. I spray Lysol all over his mattress just in case and up and down the halls, just in case......cause everyone knows, at now 5:00 in the morning, pee germs begin to walk down the halls and contaminate outside rooms....that just makes perfect sense.......I crawl into Sky's bed at 5:15 am because she and Cole are now sleeping in my bed and I just want to go to sleep.
I wake up at 7:45 by sheer chance. I start to get everyone else up for breakfast and showers for church. May is coughing telling me she feels awful she thinks she is running a fever.......she was.
I make her stay in the bed, while I get breakfast for the others together. I unload the dishwasher and start a new load cause D is coming home today I want no dishes to be in the sink, I want everything to look super clean and food to be warm and welcoming when he comes in.
Z is in the shower, Sky is almost to the bathtub, Cole is dressed and wreaking havoc where he can to disrupt our process on Sunday morning....I am getting cold remedies together for May and setting her up for sickness while we are at church. I would have stayed home but I had to go cause of my Sunday School Class, I wasn't there the week before so I needed to be there this Sunday.
In general, all started to fall completely apart after breakfast and Zach ended up staying home so he could wait on May if she need some stuff. Cole didn't want to go because Zach didn't have to go. I made Sky go for good measure cause by gosh some body besides me needed to thank God for his goodness this past week and for the week to come.
Now that we had determined who was staying and who was going I head for the shower with 30 minutes before I need to pull out of my driveway, before I am really late....to be on time I need to be leaving in 20 minutes.
I am getting out of the shower and slip on a puddle of water from the fluff mess last night that I did not clean up. I land on my hip but my thigh catches the corner of a cabinet and now there is a bruise there to match the one on my pelvis. I get up and try to carry on by locating my glasses......
(insert video clip of the mind...Thelma from Scooby Doo....."My glasses!! I can't find my glasses".......)
...can't find them ........I hear Cole and Sky fighting over the Motorola walkie talkie pagers outside the door, the TV is blaring....... I hate our television I think to myself......
..... determined to carry on I locate my facial lotion and begin applying it to my face.....I put Burt's Bees Tear Free Shampoo on my face cause it is in a similar bottle.......and I am just done.......
I resign myself to being under the attack of Satan so he can steal the joy of my husband coming home and my Sunday worship.
So I just sit down on the bathroom floor, put my face in my hands and pray out loud, loudly.
"Lord, I am angry in my heart and feelin defeated, I want to scream at everyone and at you for letting me go through this on the Sunday that Derrick is coming home. I am tired, He will be tired, I am beggin you to help me to be a good mother and speak calmly and kindly, I begging you Lord to help me to be a good and welcoming wife, I need your help Father to be a good Sunday School teacher and not be distracted by myself.....Lord, see me and hear me, that I may be a good wife, teacher, and mother to my children. In your faithful name, I know you hear me and you have the victory, God, Amen."
....from outside the bathroom door I hear Skylar say,
I have to snicker, cause it strikes me as funny I was praying for myself, I think I am by myself.....but here, outside the bathroom door, is little miss listen at the door.
S- Mom are you laughing? I had my eyes closed cause you were praying, okay? I know you want to be nice.....right? You want God to help you be nice? Right? So I said, Amen.
Now, can you tell Cole to give me something or other I am not listening cause I need to get dressed and out the door 3 minutes ago............
I do get to church right at 10:00, that is 15 minutes late according to the new Sunday School schedule that seems impossible for me to keep, no matter how early I get up. That 15 minutes earlier never happens like it should. I rarely get there at 9: 30 or even 9:40 early......it is more like 9:50 or 9:55.......it's pathetic!!
I am taking Sky to her class when I remember I have left my well prepared lesson at home in my Sunday School bag right by the back door....WHERE I WOULDN'T FORGET IT!!!!!!
I felt a sense of loss cause though I can wing the lesson, who wants to do that after they have prepared, THAT SUCKS!! and it's not Christ honoring in my book, winging a Sunday school lesson, is stupid.
After Sunday School, I don't stay for big church. I rush home to get a cream cheese pound cake ready, some home made potato soup, and fresh home made bread going and put finishing touches on cleaning the house up.......D will be getting off the plane in like 10 minutes according to may calculations.......
....uuuuuuuhhhh no he isn't.
........... cause his flight is cancelled, so the house is cleaned, I look pretty nice, the kids are ready to see him, the food is almost ready.......and he doesn't get home till 9:30pm, utterly and completely, deliriously exhausted. Cole is in the bed already and we all visit with him a bit and head to bed to try and start over the next day.
My point is no matter how awful this day was trying to be.....God was in control, I had to rely on His promises to know He knows me and He is victorious...
1 John 5:14 ......This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
1 Corinthians 15:57 .............But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
But you know, a promise is only as good as the one making it.
Joshua said, "Deep in your hearts you know that every promise of the Lord your God has come true. Not a single one has failed!" (Joshua 23:14, ). Peter said God's promises are "exceedingly great and precious promises" (2 Peter 1:4).
God's promises are trustworthy because God Himself is trustworthy.
I was much calmer, kinder, welcoming, & loving because of God this day, because I trusted Him and His promises as truth.
I don't know how people live without Christ, it must be super stressful.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
He watched the facial exfoliation & the application of the mask, but wasn't sure about that stuff either and chose to watch some Scooby Doo for a bit. When he returned the girls were lying on my bedroom floor with some wonderfully, soothing, relaxation spa type music. I had applied my mask also and was lying with them. We were able to have peace for about 10 of the 15 minutes you were supposed to leave the mask on.
I was drawn out of my tranquility, on the floor of my bedroom, by Cole jumping onto my pelvis bone as if he had jumped off of a 2 story building. Instead of softly laying down on my belly to relax himself, he jumped.....it was the most excruciating pain on my pelvic area. I rolled over and promptly told him to never do that again, that it hurt me terribly.
He said he wouldn't.......but as he was saying he was sorry he was poking my eyes out as I rolled on the floor. He was trying to put my "coupons(cucumber pads)" back on my eyes.
CB- Mommy, be still, you coupons falling off!
CB proceeds to blow out the candles and turn the music volume high, low, high as can be, low till you cannot hear it, high, low, high, low..........
I explained to Maysie this is why women pay way too much money to go to the spa. No one jumps onto your pelvis from the roof top, blows out the candles, or adjust the volume of the soothing music till you fell like a psychotic maniac.
I swear I have a bruise on the bone above my groin that is blue. Every time I sit and my pants brush that bruise I am convinced I will never have spa day for myself at my house ever again.
I will pay someone to control my tranquility.
Fun Facts To Know And Tell ............
I found 34 more 4 leaf clovers in three different patches....I am surely on a roll huh?
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Calgon wasn't cutting it.........
So I called a kindred spirit of mine (Cindi), and pretty much asked her to forgo the education of her children because my sanity was at stake. Just like a superhero she swooped in, with her cape with the upper case letters "SF" (for Super Friend) and said yes.
Off we headed to The Lost Sea. My kids and I had a wonderful time. CB took a power nap when we got home and went to bed that evening pretty easily. You gotta love it when God gives you good friends.
The Adams are good friends to us, we are so blessed that our paths crossed.
CB ......so lame he always hitches a ride.....not only does he get to ride, but he gets to suck his thumb and play with an ear too......He played Logan like a fiddle......
Larry, Moe & Curly
Sunday, October 11, 2009
This means that field mice and other varmints are going to run into our garages and outbuildings and any other place they can run to get away from the mowing tractors. D told me to be sure our garage was closed when they mow.
But my best neighbor Sarah left hers open. She has had a number of critters in her garage which prompted a discussion about this "big, black, fuzzy thing" that she saw at 5:00 in the morning in her garage that she had never seen before. She said she kicked it out onto her driveway then later thought to go and snap off a photo but the thing was gone. There were a few more details she gave me and I told her I would look it up to see what I could come up with...... cause my curiosity was at a high.
These are some things I came up with.....
A puss caterpillar, sometimes called "tiny dog" in Mexico...they come in a variety of colors. By the way, if you see one of these, don't touch it. They are extremely poisonous and will give you a sting they claim will bring a grown adult to their knees......
This is one puss caterpillar, not two
A Woolly Bear caterpillar....not really that big and fat though..... I wouldn't think it would be enough to creep one out so as to kick it into the driveway from the garage.......
King David threw in these ideas......moles
I was all, what the heck fire kind of dag gone cater-freakin-pillar in that?! He musta been eaten some leaves from the growth hormone plant waste dump site.
The kids and I had The Lords Supper at church a few weeks ago. It was Sky's first time.
They sang Let Us Break Bread Together........so when Ronnie announced we were to sing that song, Z whips his head around to me and says, "what??!!"
I am looking at him like he's a dummy and to shut-up talking so loud, cause he can't half hear, I repeated to him what he was supposed to sing, and relayed to him not to talk so loud. Z starts to laugh and relays back to me he thought they said to sing Let Us Break Wind Together. He is telling me this so loud that the lady sitting near me hears and starts to snicker a bit also.
We visited a friends church today. He is involved in a church plant sort of and they are growing. While D was out of town I thought we'd pop in and see how things are swinging. We had a good time and got to see a few folks we haven't seen in a while, which was super cool. They have outgrown the space they were using and are now using a movie theater to worship in. Which was kind of neat, in a weird way.
As soon as we get out of the car, S & CB think they are going to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and get super excited. I explain to them the situation, who we are going to see, and fa la la la la la la la la...........
So we are into Reactor Factor (The kids with parents worship session)
So we are into Reactor Factor (The kids with parents worship session) and CB is getting restless and notices a few folks have coffee drinks and McDonald's bags. He promptly tells me he is ready for popcorn now and "Meatballs Moobie."
After church is over..........now, we have been in church (albeit in a movie theater, but church), S wants to know if we can just stay and watch the movie.
A- No, we need to get on home, we spent money yesterday.
S- Why? Can't we just stay and hide in the bathroom till everyone leaves then sneak out and go into the movie for free.
A- Sky, that is like stealing
S- Well I didn't say steal anything, I said sneak for petes sake.
A- Sky, we aren't staying, I'll explain it to you in the car.
We stand in line to pick up CB who is in another room for "big church." The man in front of us is holding up the line because he is picking up a young girl who has brought her McDonald's toys into church and she wants them. So the nice ladies who are there tending to every ones children have to scrounge around to find MCDONALD'S TOYS!!
Parents who let their children bring toys to Sunday School, Awana, and Children's Church, I HATE THAT!
An adult has spent time to prepare a good lesson for your child to learn about Christ. Now your child is disrupting the whole process with their McDonald's toys, fake cell phone, purse with gobs of crap in it, Poke-Mon cards, marbles, candy that is not enough to go around, whistles, and whatever else the parent didn't have enough gump about them to say no to their child as they were getting out of the car to go into church.
Just so you know if your child is in my group in Awana and they bring crap. I take it away as soon as I see it. They get it back when they leave. If I take time to prepare, I expect a child to be respectful and pay attention. It goes just like that.
Every week CB brings Hot Wheel cars into the car on Sunday morning. Before he gets out of the car I check his pockets and Sky's too. I refuse to let my children distract others from hearing Gods word because I failed to be a big enough parent and tell them "No toys in church." If they misbehave after that, it's on their on choices not because I let them create a disrespectful to the teacher situation. The teacher there is a teacher, not a babysitter, who is supposed to keep up with your child's pockets full of toys and whatever.
But then there was this YouTube clip the Ridge Point pastor used to drive home the sermon that so touched me, I had to share it............
Friday, October 9, 2009
......and because we home school that means I have to teach them these things......
......you know so they can be normal and all.....I wouldn't want folks to say my kids were weird cause they didn't do things that the other kids do. I want them to have a good solid foundation to jump off of when they go into the "real world".......
.....but what would a solid foundation be if they didn't have any good people skills.....you know act like normal kids do and all......
So I have to teach my children these things they don't get to experience because they are not in public school, like.....
**how to make the fart sound by blowing on your arm, armpit farting, & behind the knee farting
**how to make yourself fake burp. Maysie has become quite proficient at this task.
**They needed to learn how to do those fun hand shake games to the tune of:
Big Mac, Fillet-O-Fish,
Quarter Pounder, French Fries,
Icy Coke, Thick Shakes,
Sundaes & Apple Pies
**how to slap each other in the face by holding a persons arm out straight
tapping the hand, say "Sugar"
tapping the crease of the arm, say "Candy"
tapping the shoulder, say "Lolli"
slapping the face lightly, say "Pop"
Sugar, Candy, Lolli - Pop.......see?....now, the key is to show this to the older children first without the baby present.....because he too will want to join in the face slapping fun. He will not understand "Pop" the face lightly and declare a smack down by nearly knocking the older brothers head off his shoulders, causing him to look like he has been in freezing weather to long on one side of his face.
same concept with the hand, arm crease, shoulder scenario....
It's about time,
It's about space,
It's about time,
to slap your face (insert the pop on the face on the last line....lightly, not when the baby is present because......again they do not understand the concept of 1/2 doing anything....it's all or nothing. The baby wants to slap your face off or cry because he cannot slap your face off)
** Another handy thing for home schooled children to know is mean jokes. Because there are mean people in the world and they need to know how to deal with those people.
So I taught the older two children this mean joke, because when I was in public school this helped me to grow and become a more balanced, successful adult......
You take a dandelion from the ground when they are watching you, break off a small piece of the stem where it was connected to the ground and say this,
"I bet if you hide this on your body some where I can find it. Here, you hide this when I turn my back where I cannot see it, somewhere on your body.......when I turn back around I will wave this dandelion around your body and when it gets to the spot where the small piece of stem is hidden all the little fuzzy things will blow off."
.....kids cannot resist this type of request, because it's just so crazy wild to think about, they get excited in disbelief but are willing to see if it will really work......trust me, I know.......
....so they hide it and tell you that they are ready, everyone watches anxiously as you wave the dandelion head around the body, over the legs of the jeans, up and down the shirt arms, over their backs, around their hair and ears, back down their jean legs......they are waiting.......wait for it ........wait for it..........
Say this accusingly, "You didn't hide it on you!"
kids - "yes I did!!"
you wave it around just a slight bit more and then say this, "Open your mouth."...as if you are going to see if they hid it in their mouth.....
and when the mouth opens you shove the dandelion onto their tongue........onto their tongue, NOT DOWN THEIR THROAT........................then you should run .......and if you have had a bunch of kids, you need to be sure you are wearing your Depends that day, or it could be bad for you.
It doesn't matter at this point if you are their mother trying to teach them life lessons to help them be normal people when they grow up.....the children will chase you and when they catch you, and they will catch you, the child will shove lots & lots of grass and sticks down your pants, and the child may even try to lick you to get the dandelion off of his tongue, cause they are really sticky once they get wet.
It is really sort of gross, but it's super funny and it is a lesson they'll not forget soon.
** A helpful skill for getting rid of hiccups is to ask them, "What color is a white horse?" This will only work one time, the first time, after that it will never work again......use that wisely
** because being an adult requires them to manage their time well, one needs to know how to take care of some things in a hurry. Like pouring coke into a glass with ice and waiting for the dumb fizz to go down so you can pour some more coke and wait, pour some more coke and wait and so on.......
.....all this time spent waiting on fizz to go down they could have been eating and then going on about the job at hand......now they are 10 minutes behind schedule all because of the fizz waiting. To rectify time management skills I taught them if they lick their pinky finger and stick it in their ear and then put it on their coke fizz, the fizz will dissipate at a highly rapid speed. Thus putting the eating schedule back on track and the rest of the day also.
It's about time management.
(I have no idea who taught this to me, but it has been an invaluable life skill in times when speed has been mandatory)
All home schooled children must learn these poems to be considered "normal children"....
........you know socialized and all.....
Beans, beans, good for your heart.
the more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel...
beans, beans, for every meal!
...if you just can't bring yourself to contaminate your child with the word "fart" there is this version you can use instead....but please know, this is not considered the "normal child" version. Your home schooled child may be slightly off side of normal if you choose this version.
Beans, beans, magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the more you fly.
Like superman, across the sky!
See........now really..............that's just lame. Just let your child say "fart" and try to get over yourself.
early in the morning in the middle of the night
two dead boys got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot each other
a deaf policeman heard the noise
and came and killed the two dead boys
if you don't believe this lie is true
ask the blind man he saw it too!
(sing to "Yankee Doodle")
Yank a doodle from your nose
Yank a doodle dandy
Yank a doodle from your nose
and eat it like its candy
(sung to tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean")
My Bonnie has tuberculosis
My Bonnie has only one lung
My Bonnie can spit up some mucus
And roll it around on her tongue
Okay...............That just about wraps up my "How to make your home schooled children normal" lesson for today. If you have any further questions about proper dandelion shoving technique or acceptable face slapping for fun, please direct them to me at a later date, cause I am delirious and going to bed now.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Maysie noticed him sitting on the skates in the garage last night with a pool of what looked like blood underneath. We guessed it might juice from his wings drying out or something. We must have wiped it up in this photo.
So this morning I thought I'd go and check on him, still there hanging out.
As If he wanted to show off a bit, the butterfly opened up it's wings a few times for me to snap off its pretty fall colors.
Then we let him go.......
"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies"
Thursday, October 1, 2009
I had grapefruit for breakfast a couple days ago and half was left uneaten on the plate while I read the paper. May ask could she have a bite because it looked so juicy and good. I was really excited she wanted to taste it so I cut her a small bit. Which led to the other three Curious Georges telling me they would like to try it also. I guess they figured if May was going to try grapefruit, there must be something to it. So I cut them all a small bit.
May hated it but liked the smell.
Sky gagged of course and spit hers on a paper plate headed to the garbage can.
Z hated it, and CB managed to chew his up while making an awful sour face.
We all watched to see if he would get it down and his eyes started to water. His tongue was coming out of his mouth with out direction from his brain because of the sour, bitter taste that he had not experienced before. Then he swallowed, smacked his lips together a bit and gained control of his tongue and said, "Well,.............(blinking his eyes a bit) that was tasty."
We had to laugh. I asked him did he like it, he said, "Yes, but I don't want anymore Mom." He hasn't wanted anymore since.
I made a great salad to go with our steaks last Sunday after church. I had topped them off with a few Baco's Bacon Bits. While cleaning up I decided to look at the bottle randomly. My eyes wandered to the ingredients to notice that there is absolutely no meat in Baco's at all. The little bits are basically made of flour, dye, and flavoring. This sorta grossed me out. Once we use these up I will probably not buy these again, unless I need mass bits in hurry and cheap.
So I announced to May who was still munching on her salad, "Did you know there is no real meat in these Baco's?"
M- No.....that's weird, they taste just like bacon.
A- Yeah, it's kinda gross, huh?
M- They should call them Fake-o's......
A- Yeah they should....
Sky-(who eats the world on a spoon) Well, I don't care......... I think the Fake-o's taste good.
Cole wants chocolate milk as soon as his feet hit the floor in the morning, about 6:30 or 7:00 if I am lucky. So he woke up in a BAD mood yesterday and was whining incessantly. It was killing me at 7:00 to have to hear that at the start of the day.
A- (right in his face, eye to eye)Cole! If you want some chocolate milk, you say to me "I want some chocolate milk please" without WHINING!!
C-(pouty) "I want some chocolate milk please without whining"
I made D french toast the other morning for breakfast before work. I asked him how it tasted, he said, " I think it'd be better if it had some Lauren's(Lawry's) season salt.".........
which reminded me of this.........One morning a couple years ago I had made him french toast for breakfast. I kept smelling something like hamburgers while I was cooking, it was strange, I looked around, but could not figure it out, it was weird and it bothered me but I was too busy to continue looking for the smell and pressed on making the french toast.
A-(to D at the kitchen table, who was born with no sense of smell, for real) Something over here smells like hamburgers, I just started smelling it.
D- (silence, not really paying attention to me)
I hand him 3 pieces of toast and syrup and continue on cooking for the kids to eat later when they get up.
D- Did you put salt on these?
A- No, gross on french toast? Did you want salt on them?
D- No, but these taste different...
D- Are you sure you didn't put salt on these?
A- Yes, I never put salt on french toast...(I am getting aggravated) If you don't like the stupid things then don't eat them.
smell driving me nuts, not really paying attention to D cause I am trying to figure it out...
D- (after have eaten two almost a third piece) Amy, I swear something is salty on these what did you put on them?
A- (I am severely agitated now from his going on) I dang mixed eggs, vanilla, and some milk and a small bit or orange juice!! I dredged the dang toast in the mix and put it in the pan, (I pick up the bottle of cinnamon sugar...so I think) I sprinkled some dang cinnamon sugar them and put them on your PLATE!! (showing D the bottle so he could see the cinnamon sugar himself)
D- Amy, that is Laurens (Lawry's cause he can never remember the name right) Season Salt!!
I look at the bottle and I'll be dag goned if he wasn't right and I had to just laugh cause the smell was the salt cooking on the toast the whole time.....and salt on french toast is just gross.....and he already ate two and 1/2 pieces...funny, funny, funny
A- Oh Babe, I am sooooooo sorry...(sort of laughing a little, cause it's just so funny to me now)
D- (gets up from the table aggravated at me now cause he has heart burn) I AM DONE, I feel sick and I have heartburn, I think you are trying to kill me before I go to work, I can't believe I ate that, I am leaving......
A- Wait! I'm sorry!! Let me get your lunch......!!
D- I don't want no dang lunch with season salt all over it, that was awful, I gotta go to work (he hurriedly brushes past me without a kiss goodbye)
A- Well, what about my 3 kisses?!
D- NO kisses for YOU today!.....(and the door slams)
......so freakin funny even today.......so I always check to be sure I have the cinnamon sugar and not the season salt when I make french toast now.....or either I just buy the big, fat, nice cinnamon bread....that eliminates the need to sprinkle altogether.