Oh, she said she wants the soup." ..............

Maysie went with Sky and me to the allergy doctor. She was amazed at all the food they prick test for.

M- Wow, they have everything on here including star fruit...

A- Wow, star fruit?

M- No, just kiddin.

M- (like ordering in a restaurant in a snotty valley girl teen voice) Um yeah, can I have a grilled chicken sandwich, and can you totally tell me if it has star fruit in it?.... I am allergic to star fruit. So can you just totally put the star fruit sauce on the side....duh..

A- (I laugh cause she is so dang funny at the right times like her dad. Her hillbilly voice overs and valley girl voice overs are spot on. She makes me smile. )

..........................................................

Cause I haven't been sleeping good my jaw has been killing me and my tongue has this horrible metal taste that I cannot brush off with my tooth brush.

So I jokingly say to Zac in the car on the way to the soccer game..

A- I probably have mouth cancer or tongue cancer or something cause my bad attitude is making me say ugly things, I probably need my tongue cut off....(it's harsh I know, but I was joking)

Z is mortified by the thought, which I did not expect. He says, "Mom, promise me you will make a dentist or doctors appointment, I don't want you to die."

A- Z I was just kidding.

Z- Yeah, well promise anyway.....

A- I will, just let me get through with the Sky stuff first.

Z- (he is really serious) No, promise me......I can not have a mom with no tongue....that is really disturbing.

...........................................................

So I am telling May about this conversation when we get home last night cause it struck me as funny he was concerned that he would have a mom with no tongue....for real.

(May stayed home last night with Vomit Mary & CB, cause it was cool when the sun went down.)

May- (pretending to be me with no tongue)

"blath thall soooooth hof thall thall whuuuh"

( pretending to be a waiter)

"What did she say"

(Now herself)

"Oh, she said she wants the soup." (insert big friendly smile)

My butt fell out cause that was just so stinkin funny to me.

I tell you there is something wrong with us that kind of humor is just sick.

I do not not like blue eggs and ham...........

Let me see.....

Last Thursday night the angles opened up the flood gates of heaven and it rained like mad. Frogs and worms galore running for higher ground or something.

Friday morning when I go out to get the paper the sun is out but it's cool & windy. There are hundreds of worms all over my driveway and the road. Some trying to get back to the wet soil and some squashed from being ran over by going to work traffic.

In the spirit of The Starfish Story, I threw a few back into the grass to save them. The Starfish Story, by Loren Eisley...... you know?

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out.

If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles

and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

I brought the Friday paper into the house and announced there were hundreds of worms dying on the driveway and on the front road...."Who wants to help me save some worms?!"

(cricket, cricket.....cricket, cricket ......stomp, stomp, stomp)

"I do MOM, wait for me!!!!!" says Cole.

Cole has on his pajamas, a coat and too big bedroom slippers, I have on my pajamas, a jacket and a do-rag on my afro. We are armed with a pair of dull tweezers and science prongs. On our mission to save the wormy world, we are out the door.

CB & I saved 231 worms Friday morning. It's a good thing too cause the birds were plentiful in scraping all the dried up dead one off the roads. One might say the worms were manna from heaven for starving birds, but just so you know that isn't true cause the birds in my yard have been well fed this winter.

So we are wormy heroes. Cole has a cape and wormy red squiggler dance to prove it.

Saturday morning Cole got up and said to me, "Hey Mom, I think we need to go and save some worms!" He had his purple Bible man cape on and his too big bedroom shoes.

...................................................

Speaking of missions....I have been on a mission to make sure my people are generally more healthy. Turns out D had some months to get on a diet and lose some weight or he was gonna get type 2 diabetes.

He didn't do it. Now he has type 2 diabetes.

He didn't believe himself to be a "real diabetic" cause he didn't have to give himself shots. BUT diabetes is diabetes is diabetes....

Anyhoo, I have been on a perpetual diet since I have given birth to my first child. So I had been on him about what to eat and this and that. He didn't really care to listen to me, cause if I am such a diet guru why aren't I loosing weight??

Well, lets see.... I am getting older too. No matter how healthy I eat, if I don't exercise I ain't loosing it. That is how my body works. I can maintain, but I ain't loosing no weight lest I exercise, so.... next....

He had an appt with a nutritionist and he was going to do whatever they said. So I was to go with him cause I guess they figure the spouse will ride their butts & make them stick to the diet. She told him everything I had told him basically, oh and by the way, stick yourself two times a day. I had put him on a pretty healthy balanced diet before the for the appt. By the time he got the stick yourself kit and nutrition info, he'd lost 10 pounds already and his blood sugar was GREAT! I am super proud of him for sticking(no pun intended) to this and being fully committed to being aware of what he puts in his body.

So D is about settled in to what his new food life looks like. Prior to D's rude awakening though, I had been trying to get my kids to eat more balanced. It was going okay with subtle changes and still is, but I added a multivitamin made for teens to May and Z's morning.

The thing is, Z's One a Day is freaking BLUE dye#123456789. When you are trying to be dang healthy....why blue dye that your body can't process?? um...stupid.....

So Z tries it after he eats, he throws up....before bed, he throws up.....empty stomach, throws up...

He wants to take a multivitamin badly, but they are making him sick. I told Z, "Do NOT take that vitamin anymore it is not good for you apparently, you have tried it 3 times and you haven't been able to keep it down." So he quit.

Little known to me though he attempted to take it 30 minutes after a meal again and he did just fine with it. Z relays this to me. So he takes the vitamin for a couple weeks 30 minutes or so after his breakfast meal and seems cool.

But dang Friday, he ate 3 eggs and bacon and randomly some beef jerky & took the vitamin to soon.

Cole - Mom! Zac's throwing up in your sink!

I go into the bathroom. Z is hangin over my sink. Mind you the toilet is 2 STEPS, that is 1 1/2.... 12 X 12 tile lengths in side steps to his left.... is my toilet. He is hanging over my sink....with partially digested blue eggs and bacon backing up my sink. DISGUSTING!!!

A - SON! Why are you in my sink with your partially digested blue food?? The toilet is 2 dag gone steps on your left.....You couldn't go just 2 more steps and hit my toilet where the partially digested blue eggs & bacon could just be flushed??

Z- Oh Man! That was the delicious beef jerky too....DANG!

A- DO NOT take those vitamins any more, I am throwing them in the trash right now. I am not cleaning this up(which I know is a somewhat lie).

Z- MAN!! That was all of the beef jerky too, what a waste.....(clearly not phased by the mess, but distraught by the loss of the meat)

A- Zac clean this up, right now......clean it up well and with comet.

..leaving the bathroom I hear this...........

Z-....."I do not not like blue eggs and ham, I do not like them Zac I am...."

G is for christening the church bathroom........

is for gagging for the good of all involved.....

I did my first "lock-in" at the church this past Friday. There were 9 of us and I thought we all had a pretty good time. We had lasagna for dinner, did gingerbread houses till near midnight.....










(dirty feet from the gym floor)


did facials till 2:30 in the morning.....

(exfoliating)


(mud masks)



(mud masks still & clear cucumber peels)


(Peeling the cucumber peel mask off. We all loved this one, it was equivalent to peeling sun burned skin)


..... finally winding down at about 3:15 am for some sleep.....


(one 8th grade gal is missing cause she had to leave early)



.....then ate some french toast for breakfast and had a spiritual gifts devotional time. After all of that, it was time to head home.

We woke up to snow!

It was quiet and awesome as I rambled around at 6:30 am alone trying to get breakfast ready. I had the Christmas music playing, while the others slept away in another building.




Let me say this though, prior to enjoying my kitchen dream with snow and Christmas music.....I totally had to get up off the floor on which I was sleeping cause my hips were screaming at me to "GET UP OFF THE FLOOR!!! I WILL NOT WORK PROPERLY IF YOU LAY DOWN HERE ONE MORE MINUTE, GET UP!!!!!"

So I lifted my wretched sore body from the floor and went directly to the 8th grade girls sleeping room, got my toothbrush from Maysie's bag and christened the church bathroom sink with a wonderful 5 to 7 minute gagging session with my toothbrush.

All the stars were properly aligned after that.

It had to be done, so I could feel good in the kitchen with snow, Christmas music, and french toast.

I really had a super time. I am convinced I had just as good a time as the girls did.

I believe that I did get to know some of them better, which was the whole purpose....for us all to get to know each other better.

Laura McC (Mac) stayed with me. I hadn't spent any real time with her in about 100 years.

Probably since the baseball field, two seasons ago. In fact the last time I had seen her she was kicking me in the back cause I was begging my friend Danielle to tell me the little girl singing the National Anthem, in a blue jean jumper dress, with a long unbrushed pony tail, just killing the song........ making me want to lob my head off in a guillotine in agony of having to endure such a tragedy in the National Anthem world of singing.......I was begging Danielle to tell me the girl was not home schooled, and Laura kicked me from behind and told me to "shut it."

They shoulda just played the instrumental and left it.......

I had forgotten how funny and refreshing she is. Randy, her husband, is surely a lucky guy to get to hang out with her all the time. Randy was one of my Sparks leaders in the past. He is a great guy too; I adore them both. In my opinion, Laura made everything about the lock-in better. She is beautiful, funny, totally gets young girls and they trust her. She was absolutely hand picked by God to stay with me that night. Even though her only boy had a football banquet she wanted to attend, she stayed with me and the girls. I am more crazy about her now than I was before.

So when I finally got home around 11:30am or so on Saturday, I had a crick in my neck.

I said, I had A CRICK IN MY NECK...........uuuuuuuhh It sucked.

When I was talking to my mom on the phone, turning my head just to talk, bending to laundry, just in general trying to live.....my freakin neck screamed, "You old lady!! DON'T SLEEP ON THE FLOOR ANYMORE!!"

Tony Workman was my hero Friday cause he gave me the safety idea of double locking us into an area of the church that had a bathroom with water for facials, our own heat, and clean flooring...... I am crazy about that guy too! That was an awesome idea! It worked beautifully and I felt super safe!

to be lucky or not to be lucky, that is the question...........

I was bending down......


to look at a snake in our driveway that we ran over with the car on purpose some days ago and it was still there cause I forgot all about it till D told me he thought it was a copper head......

so I thought I should actually look at it.....

and my pants split in the crotch all the way up to my belt loop.....

The dumb pants were not even tight cause I lost some weight (PRAISE GOD) I think they had just been washed too many times cause I refuse to buy clothes till I lose some dang weight.

I was going on the premise that God made sure the sandals didn't wear out while the Hebrews were wandering in the wilderness for 40 years........

probably didn't work cause I'm not Hebrew or something......

..........................................................

This summer May and I found 17 four leaf clovers. Maysie actually found 2 five leaf clovers which is crazy wild to me.

I've never found a five leaf clover.

...in the picture above are clovers we found in once day! We found them in the same patch, cause you know, 4 leaf clovers are a mutation......so if you find one in a patch, chances are if you keep looking you'll find a bunch more around it. I have to say this cause it's tradition. I always tell May the reason we find so many in a patch is because "it's a mutation," to which she responds, "you ALWAYS SAY THAT! I already know it."

So I have to say it now, cause it's tradition.....
........................................................

So I got a ticket in Oak Ridge last month on my way home from taking CB to get his almost knocked out tooth fixed. The idiotic camera's mounted on the red light things snapped off a picture of my car clear as a bell in two different positions, both showing my license plate clearly.

Both photographs clearly displayed my "Hard Core Jesus Freak" Harley Davidson style window decal too. They clocked me going 46 in a 35. SO STUPID they have this 4 lane in Oak Ridge that I could walk faster in than people drive. When I am driving up there I feel like I might grow a ZZ Top beard and die before I get to the dentist or pediatricians office.

So my $10 co-pay office visit now cost me $60. I am absolutely going to switch my dentists and pediatrician office to someone closer to us and that won't cause me to have undue stress and anxiety about getting a ticket for going a decent speed on a 4 lane. I read in the paper that those cameras have caught THOUSANDS of folks going higher than 35 and each has paid a minimum fine of $50. You can do the math.......somebody is not havin a cash flow problem.

You know.....about two years ago, now that I think about it I got a ticket in Oak Ridge on that same road going 55 in a 45. Right where the road starts to turn into a decent speed leaving Oak Ridge not right in town, I got pulled over I swear right in front of a 55 mile an hour sign, for doing 55 in a 45. I could have spit on the sign if I was so inclined because I was that close. It was clear idiocy to me and I hate to say it but my kids were making fun of the police officer cause he had a big fat belly with a waaaaaay too tight belt. That looked like it would pop off at a high speed and kill you if he ate just oooonnnne more donut. When he sat down he had to have been uncomfortable.

anyway......so I told D when they looked at my picture with that Jesus Freak decal on the window, I bet they said, "Hey Jesus Freak! Put the petal to the metal on this!"

...........................................................

CB told me today he wanted a "horsey kiss."............Hershey Kiss


I put a new train clock in CB's room. He asks me every night what time it is. I told him, "It says 10 o'clock, it's way past your bedtime."

He tells me, "No it isn't 10 o'clock, it's a-train-o'clock, now what time does it say?"

...........................................................


Why is it green freezy pops always make you cough???

I hate lime stuff, but I hide the green freezy pops cause they are delicious to me, but I swear every time I eat one it tickles my throat and makes me cough, it's the strangest thing.

you know, you don't have to stop fully at stop signs with white lines around the outside.........

These are sheer random thoughts from the past that just came to me for a no good reason today.....

When I was getting married I had gotten my invitations together to send out. A few people I did not know their addresses but knew where they lived, so Mom & I decided to hand deliver them. One in particular was an invitation I had to give because they were attached to my family by marriage. This would be my step uncle and his horrid wife. This was his second marriage and hers too. She had a son who was mentally challenged a bit, but a super kid. He was smart in school, eager to please, a hard worker at the grocery store where he bagged groceries, and he was happy despite the circumstances in which he lived.

He was super pale and when he laughed he turn bright red, so we called him "Fire Ball." His parents were morons, his mom and step father, my step uncle. My step uncle, rest his soul, was one of those that sued everybody. If he could remotely be somewhere that could potentially help him receive money so he didn't have to work, he was there. The mother never brushed her teeth. I don't care how poor you might be, a toothbrush is not that expensive, even if you can't afford toothpaste......put a dang brush on yer freakin teeth....GOSH!

She spoke in this high pitched annoying voice that made me physically distort my face when listening to her speak. I felt in my heart that she wondered how her life had become unsatisfactory and was just trying to live through it. She had become sort of an anxious woman and started to stutter in that high pitched voice and I just had to cringe.

I felt like someone needed to rescue Fire Ball so he could succeed. Given the right circumstances Fire Ball could be a superb man. I would later learn, after my father's funeral, and by sheer chance, that he was in fact doing well for himself, which made my heart feel relief.

So Mom and I went to deliver my beautiful wedding invitations to them in person. She was mowing her grass, over weight, greasy short brown hair, completely and utterly sweaty, with gunky teeth, and no bra on with her DDD boobs swinging under her shirt as she mowed....it was awful. So Mom did some small talk and I smiled and tried to be polite without making the distorted face.

Mom handed her the invitation and she stuck my beautiful wedding invitation in her sweaty underwear inside her pants......I physically said "uuuuhhh," and my mom slapped me on my thigh inside the car. She said our goodbyes and we drove off to the stop sign. Once far enough away we both started eeeeewwww-ing as loud as all get out. Trying to shake off the horrible sight of that wonderful piece of paper that signified I was about to marry the man of my dreams in her swinging triple D's, gunky teeth, sweaty pants.


Okay, shake that off if you can and we'll move on...............


This story reminded me of my mom's cousins. They have a house on the lake in my mom's home town in South Carolina. Quite a few of her cousins live in that area and spend a good bit of time on the lake eating together and whatnot. One of the cousins, I believe, owns a bar and grille with live entertainment. I have not been there, but I hear they all have a pretty good time regularly. My whole family is full of cut-ups as one might guess. We all like to laugh hard and we all love hard too.

So the one cousin that owns the bar and grille is a twin. I hear that one of the twins has a girlfriend they call "Buttah Face." I am not sure of her real name actually, cause this is what they call her....to her face, when speaking about or referring to her to other people, you know general everyday conversation and so forth. I assumed at first since they are all from South Carolina and any word that ends with or has an "R" in it is deleted. Like Charles becomes Challs and Heather becomes Heathah...Mother becomes Muthah....hence her nickname is Buttah Face so that must be Butter Face. She must have super smooth skin or be young or something....

uuuuuuuhh no

I am informed her name is "Buttah Face" because everything looks good on her BUTTAH FACE!

That's just freakin funny, I'm sorry, but it is......


I thought of this too.......


Not too long after I had gotten my license to drive, which took me two tries to get, I got a ticket for failing to stop fully at stop sign.

We had this guy who was a year younger than me living with our family, he was like my brother. Though we rarely talk anymore, I still have fond memories of him. I last saw him at my dads funeral and it made my heart happy to see him. We hadn't seen one another since shortly after I was married. His name was Mike.

Mike told me I didn't have to stop fully at stop signs that had white lines around the outside. It never occurred to me at the age of 16 that he may be yankin my chain.

Despite the fact that all the signs seemed to have white lines, it never occurred to me he was yankin my chain.

That is seriously STUPID dumb blonde material.

So I had to explain my stupidity to my mom, at 16 it never occurred to me I should be embarrassed about believing that. It was just something that happened, I got spoofed on, got a ticket, okay, and what's next on my happy little, I'm 16, and the whole world is mine to conquer life.

I don't envy my friends with 16 year old teenagers that are driving........

..............................................

We watched Curly Sue, the old movie from the 90's I think, about a homeless girl and her friend whom they call her dad. The two try to get this rich lady to help them out by tricking her into thinking she hit the man with her car.

At some point Curly Sue goes into foster care.

We watched this as a family. It was rated PG.....in the 90's. To me that = fairly clean family movie cause I am so contaminated by filth today. The dang movie came off with the "b word" 3 times & "G D" like 4 times. The movie is cute, but the language was unexpected and made me feel like a crappy mom...........well, for a little while then I went to sleep and forgot about it.

.....so I had to take my car to the Hyundai dealership for some things to get checked out and they gave me a loaner cause it was apparently gonna take some time.

So I get this cute little red economy something or other with a sunroof and a 21,000 price tag.....

Sky loves the car. She comes in from the garage relaying her love for the red car with a sunroof.

She then asks me, "How long do we get to keep your foster car?"

Momma, don't kiss daddy, you my girlfriend...........

At 8:00AM Saturday morning this is what I heard while I was standing in the kitchen.
I think the volume was on like........10!

....because D needed to let me know, after all these years he finally knows what "domo arigato" means. It means thank you in Japonics, in case you need to be enlightened also.
.........................................................................


C- I hungry momma

A- What would like for lunch? Peanut butter on cinnamon bread with sprinkles, oatmeal with sprinkles, or how about some mac-n-cheese with green sprinkles....yummy.....

C-No, I want some shapes

A- Shapes?

C- I want some shapes

A- Come show me what you would like, cause I don't know what shapes are

........going into the fridge he pulls out a lunchable with circle crackers, square turkey, and rectangle swiss cheese...........he wants "shapes" for lunch.


........................................................................


S- Mom, can you fix me a gecko sandwich

A- What?

S- a gecko sandwich.....

A- Ew, gross, what goes into a gecko sandwich? When I last checked we didn't have any geckos to put into a sandwich in the house and that I am aware of you cannot buy that at Kroger either....however, we can never really be sure what potted ham is.......

S- noooooo, you know that bread you cut in a circle with a chicken patty in it

A- OH! You want a "ghetto" chicken sandwich?

S- (happy as a lark) Yes!! I want two......



I told you she was ghetto......









.........................................................................

Cole looking in the mirror a couple days after his dentist appt to get his tooth fixed after he nearly knocked it out.........

C- Momma, where is my black tooth?
.............................................................................

.......watching the news with D after dinner. I am sitting close to D on the couch, Cole comes in, crawls in my lap, looking at D irritated.......

C-Momma, you my girlfriend
D-No, she's my girlfriend
C- Nooooo she my girlfriend
D- No she's my girlfriend
C- NO MOMMA, you MY girlfriend (turns my face towards his and kisses me on my lips)
A- aaawwww Cole Bear that's a sweet kiss, I love you Cole Bear (big hugs)
C- (to Derrick) she my girlfriend, hmp.....
D- (turns my face and gives me a kiss) She my girlfriend, hmp
C- noooo, momma don't kiss him, (he wipes my lips off)

...this goes on and on till I get up cause they are driving me crazy. Later when I tuck Cole in the bed......

C- Momma, you my girlfriend, not daddy
A- ....yer my boyfriend Cole Bear.....
C-(big hug and a kiss) Don't kiss daddy okay?
A- okay CB, g'night

..................................................................

......on a whole other note of ghetto, we are sleeping on a flat sheet, being used as a fitted sheet. All our fitted sheets had been washed relentlessly for years with bleach and one by one I was throwing them out not realizing that we had no other fitted when I changed the sheets. I did order two new sets of sheets, but they haven't came in yet. So my bed set up is totally ghetto right now. A flat sheet as a fitted, two completely different pillow cases, and for real a flat sheet to sleep under that has nothing to do with any of the other sheets.

This speaks to me about the things that are important. This would never have happened 10 years ago and now I really don't give a rip that my sheets are 100% mixed matched, it's kind of funny really.

Here's another ghetto thing. Over the summer a friend of our is working at a golf cart place and said since some folks in our neighborhood have golf carts we should get one too. D mentioned it to me and I thought that was a total waste of our money........

....... Especially when I can just put on my orange, Dale, Jr. cap with a camo #8 on it and another 8 drawn beside it in permanent marker to make it "88," tie green gardening wire to our riding lawn mower and Radio Flyer wagon and haul all our stuff including CB, the dog, a cooler and floats to the lake. Why do I need a golf cart?

..................................................................................

Sky & I crammed in the bathroom stall at McDonald's after the Smokies game with other people in the bathroom.....and she talks loud..... constantly

S- I think I have diarrhea
A- Sky, I don't care just go to the bathroom
S- first mom, a big log came out, then it was running really fast out my butt
A- Sky I don't care about all that, quit talking so loud and finish!

lady next to us farts

S- (laughing loudly) Mom? Did you hear her fart?
A- (trying not to laugh cause Sky is laughing and her laugh is funny to me) Sky shut up! Are you done?!
S- (still loud) I know you think it's funny cause I see you trying not to laugh, you heard her fart didn't you mom?
A- SKYLAR!
S- I like it when you laugh
A- why?
S- cause then you aren't screaming....
A- okay, Sky, I'm done with you, I'm outta here....I leave her

When I come out thankfully the bathroom has cleared mostly and I just try to tell myself
I will never see these people again,
I will never see these people again,
I will never see these people again.......

woeful wednesday, with a lower case "w", cause today stinks..........

These are the things I hate about today:

**We had to go to the pediatric dentist unplanned.

.......because last week Cole was sliding across the floor on Jenny's dog pillow and missed the pillow face first. He landed on his top lip, bumping his buck teeth into the proper spot they should be in if he wouldn't suck on his stupid thumb all the time. blood, blood, blood, screaming, and wailing and gnashing of teeth, and waiting...... till yesterday when I noticed the dumb tooth was turning grayish.

Dr. P tells me he has to have a root canal in his front tooth, on the front of the the dumb tooth cause he can't go through the stupid, idiotic back of the tooth for some dumb, idiotic reason that I don't know cause I am not a pediatric dentist. No matter how many times I wished I was over the past decade, I am not.

Dr. P decides that all the kids are due for checkup lets do them all.

Maysie is the best brusher in the family, besides me, she flosses, and she cares genuinely about her teeth's health. She always has some problem that literally takes an act of a democratic lead congress to get fixed. So she has a cavity in a spot that she wouldn't normally because of her Herbst appliance. So Dr. P wants May to go to Dr. F to get the thing taken off, then back to his office, so he can fix the cavity, then back to Dr. F. to put the Herbst back on......I'm like, "Are you sure it's all that Dr. P? Can you have some mercy on my soul? Look and see real hard if you can fix it without going through congress..."....he says, ..."maybe.....ask Dr. F if blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah , blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah......."

Z has a stupid small cavity, "in a place that normally doesn't get cavities and he is clearly brushing well, it's just something that has happened...".........well, of course. Z is a good brusher too he is more about the quantity than the quality of brushing though.....he thinks, I will brush hard and more times a day than soft and hit all the points well.

Sky is the only one who gets the all clear really, and she half jack brushes. If I didn't give her the scratch test every night she'd be lucky to have teeth. She is getting better cause she knows I will do it again if she doesn't get'em good.

** We just started school again and we are already off the schedule because of the unplanned appt.

**I want to eat the world, cause I feel like it, cause I hate the pediatric dentist....even though I know it really isn't his fault. It just seems all the dang time we have to blow a wad at his office cause somebody has tried to knock their teeth out or something else crazy is going on.

It was just this past summer Maysie tried to get her tooth knocked out with a cooler at a party. We think hers may have been healed by the Lord. We are playing a waiting game. Dr. F told us her tooth would die also and she would need a root canal. He told me not to worry about it. It happens all the time, if I didn't quit going on I would give May a complex. I'm thinking duh fool, she is 13 and her front tooth is dying...I AM FREAKING OUT!!!

I told Dr. F, "Well, I am going to pray for the Lord to heal her tooth. She has went through so much with her teeth, I hope He'll have mercy on her." Dr. F gave me the whatever, but kind smile and sent me on my way.

Next visit....the tooth was healed. Dr. F says, it can still die, but Dr. P said this morning it looks good.....we just need to wait a year to see how it looks. So now I have to wait a year to see if the Lord healed that tooth.....I choose to believe He healed it. Cause the Bible says the Lord hears the prayers of a righteous man.......that would not be me. It would be May though, she is good and her faith is solid and she wears it strongly.

I believe the Lord healed the tooth for her.

....and maybe a little for me as a scrap from the table, cause I want so badly for her to be through with teeth issues.

**Thoughts of my dad are bombarding me also, and I have no idea why......

I just want to put my face in a pillow and cry today. My girlfriend Wendy told me I should do it, it would make me feel better............but I hate crying.

you only have one dollar, just give it to me..........

This week is vacation bible school in Kacka Lacky, TN. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week.

Maysie and I have been doing the video introduction for the kids by way of short skits. They are going fairly well to be put together sort of spur of the moment. It's pretty fun to be cutting up with May, being silly the way we are at home out for the world to see. I really don't care how stupid we look, nor does she I believe, so long as the kids give us a laugh or two. Our characters have this terrible exaggerated lisp thing going on. I am S(th)ally S(th)almonheimer, the kids camp counselor and May is S(th)andy, my niece, who is a kid at the camp. Add the lisp for any and every reason and you have our characters nailed probably.

The fun part has been the brainstorming for the skits with May and Zach. Zach has thrown in some pretty cute ideas. He wants to be funny, but funny doesn't come as easy for him....he is funny when he doesn't mean to be.

When May was a little younger than she is now I would be walking with her into the grocery store and see the no smoking sign, I would say sort of elevated to her as a person passed by, "May you can't smoke in here so put your cigarettes up." She would get so ticked at me, but I swear that used to make me smile so big. It was just funny. I do the same thing to Zach now when we are filling out paper work at the ENT doctor's office. When they ask if anything has changed.....are you smoking...drinking alcohol.....I say to him, "Zach how many cigarettes do smoke a day now.....you cut back a little right?" He just smiles, and lets the people around him snicker at the comment...

So anyway this is hilarious to me, although some of you may find it disturbing...we were brainstorming, May and I, about this campfire scene at the end of one of the VBS skits.We were getting stupid cause we were tired and just started ad libbing like rednecks with lisp

A - (insert Hillbilly lisp) yeah stho Sthandy, I think I'll jutht thit by the fire and listhen to the thoundths of the crickeths....
M - (insert hillbilly lisp and a really sweet voice) that sthounds nithe Aunt Sthally, I'll thit with you I'm exhausthed, let me jutht go inthide my tent and get my thigarettes and thome beerths

....it was unexpected & super funny to me.....we were done for the night after that.

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Tuesday night in the car ride home after VBS Z & I were discussing him having lost a tooth at bible school.....and did I get the tooth to bring home.....

It was wadded up in a paper towel like a piece of trash when they gave it to me. I said, "Oh dang Z, I think I left it on the steps of the alter up front." He was irritated at me for leaving the tooth, I could see. I said to him, "I'm sorry I left the tooth, I mean do you have to have the tooth?"

Z- (serious as can be & somewhat irritated still ) No. Where is your purse so I can get my dollar now before you spend the one dollar you have.

To me, that was funny, cause he totally believed I would forget the tooth fairy thing (and I would), he totally believed I only had one dollar in my wallet (and I did).

Sky was in the backseat and said, "Zach, why would mom give you her last dollar? Just write the tooth fairy a note like I did and tell her mom left it at church."

.............I actually did find the tooth the next day while at the doctors office digging through my purse for a pin. Then I lost it again, and found it again last night. So has Zach got his dollar yet? No, cause I forgot.

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Last night when we got home from VBS I went to take Cole's clothes off and he had on no underwear.

A- Cole where are your underwear? Did you pee pee in your pants at church?
C- no
A- Where are your underwear at?
C- in my room
A- Your room at church?
C- no in my room here.....
A- Cole did you wear underwear to church tonight?
C- no
A- You had no underwear on at church?.....at bible school you did not wear underwear?
C- yes
A- How did you get out of this house with no underwear on? Mommy did not put underwear on you today?
C- I took them off
A- You took your underwear off today after mommy put them on?
C- yes
A- Why?
C- because I can't see the piture upside down, I can't get underwear back on, when I take'em off.
A- so you wanted to see Mater on yer underwear and then you couldn't get the underwear back on, so you just left them off?
C- yes
A- Did you pee pee in the potty at bible school?
C- yes
A- Did they ask you where your underwear were?
C- yes
A- What did you say?
C- I say, I take them off to see piture.
A- Did they ask you where you took them off?
C- yes, I say.... in my room, in my house, with my dog Jenny

I reckon I will have to explain that to Ms. Donna tonight.......eeeesh

STOP IT! My ears are dang burning girl..............

1. I am addicted to the burn of Listerine. I love that total gum burning sensation after a good tooth brushing and a good mouth swooshing rinse. It makes me feel GOOOOOOOOOOD! I LOVE it!

2. This weekend I heard the most awful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at the little league ball park. It made me want to put my hands over my ears and just holler, "STOP! STOP, Who told you to sing this? Why didn't someone tell you the correct words to sing?" The gal looked exactly like what folks think home schooled kids look like, but thank God above she wasn't. We get a bad enough rap without stuff like that. Oh man, it takes courage to sing in front of a crowd I know, which is why I didn't holler out in terror for her to stop. They should have just played the tape they usually play with no one singing.

Oh SON, it was just A W F U L.

Baseball season is over for my family. !Hallelujah! This is another blog for later in the week, after I can think clearly about the season with proper perspective.

3. VBS starts this week and even though I am barely doing anything that makes a darn difference, I feel exhausted thinking about it for the coming week.

4. The excuses I am making to the Lord are starting to get old......even to me, like a broken record. I am about to get tired of myself.

5. Kettle brand chips, Buffalo Blue flavor, cannot come into my house ever again. I am an irresponsible Kettle chip eater.


Okay....that should about do it for the night.