like bifocals for the eyes, except these are for the ears.........

I do not know why this is, but lately, and almost every time I brush my teeth...my idiot tooth brush brushes past my teeth and up into my gum area harshly. Freakin it hurts! I mean I am just brushing along and WHAM!

My tooth brush is slamming against my top teeth gum line violently.

It always takes me by surprise cause who expects that to happen while brushing? Especially if one has just done this two or three times before and is trying to make a conscious effort to not do it.

It's like my toothbrush has acquired a persona of it's own and has a vendetta against me for ramming him down my throat in a gag session or something.

See it: Evil Toothbrush Scratches Womans Gums Off In Vengeance!

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CB- Mom, I want a chocolate pickle.

A- What?

CB- I want a chocolate pickle.

A- I don't know what a chocolate pickle is CB, can you show me?

...goes to fridge and shows me Popsicles.

He wants a Popsicle.

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Last night D and I were having a conversation about someone, we'll call Rudy for today, who has a terrible problem walking off when others are speaking. Rudy will ask a question, then in complete rudeness turn and walk away while you are answering. It irritates the crap out of me.

It's as if Rudy doesn't really care what answer you give, Rudy is through with the conversation.....walk away. RUDE!

So D was relaying to me that Rudy had committed this foul action against someone other than he and I. D and I used to think this person just had a lot on their mind and didn't realize they were doing this rude action and wrote it off as, "needs help with people skills"...and just took it for what it was. We have since come to understand this action is all by itself simple rudeness. D and I try not to engage in long conversation with Rudy, cause Rudy's action....irritates the crap out us.

So Rudy committed this action against another. We'll call this person Newsome for today.

Newsome tells D that she believes Rudy may have a hearing problem.

D tells me he thinks to himself......"Uh no. Rudy doesn't have a hearing problem. He has a listening problem. He doesn't need a hearing aid, he needs a listening aid..."

I thought that was very clever. In my opinion Rudy does need a listening aid, turned up on the highest volume.

In fact, I would like to purchase one for D and my children too....and my mother... who needs a listening aid for one ear and a hearing aid for the other........like bifocals for the eyes, except these are for the ears.

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D made this awesome salad for himself on Sunday. He proceeded to come into the bedroom to show off this magnificent prize while I was checking email on the computer.

I am like, what?! You know sandwiches and salads are my thing. I dang take pictures of that kind of stuff. I still have this awesome picture of my blueberry stuffed french toast from Mimi's Cafe almost a year ago, on my cell phone screen.

Instantly D sees my wanting and thinks to bolt while he can with his beautiful salad. He knows he has made a huge mistake. So he offers to give me half.

I feel guilty, a little.......not really....and tell him no way it's his salad to go ahead and eat it, I am not hungry anyway. This is a tad true but not fully. The minute I saw the salad my stomach became engaged in my thought process and though I felt no hunger pains physically, I felt them mentally and was hungry.

So back and forth we go about whether he should give me half of his salad. He does give me half. I skip happily into the kitchen and put this awesome Naturally Fresh honey mustard dressing on it. Just enough to give it zing but not to over power all the other flavors and so forth. My insides are so happy when I plop down beside D on the living room couch to eat his salad up.

I am in my own personal heaven floating on my salad cloud with singing harps, furry bunnies and rainbows.........(insert record scratching)

My dog is giving me tender puppy eyes....for my salad....like I would ever give her lettuce anyway.

I am all, "Forget it Jenny. I don't care how cute you are. Tender puppy eyes aren't gonna work for you this time. I will never give you this delicious salad."

D - Yeah, well now you know how I feel......but I caved.

I'm the king of the world, so say I........

Cole built me this super tall Lego structure. It has Lego Tarzan standing on the top.

CB- Look Momma, it's like he's the king of the world.

A- Sort of like mommy is the king of the house...

CB- No.....you can't be the king.

A- Why? (just to see what he'll say)

CB-.....cause you aren't a big tall daddy.

A- Well do short daddy's get to be the king of the house too?

CB- Yep. And the creepy ones too.

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I suspected we had a mouse in the laundry room. For a couple days I would get up and find these tea leaf looking things here and there on the counter top. I thought I had a split open tea bag in one of my tea boxes. So I checked them and moved them to another area.

The next day, I realized it was a varmint.......cause it ate chocolate Pez that had been left on the washing machine. As a thank you for the wonderful dessert, it left behind some "tea leaves."

I told D to set our mouse trap. I suspected we had a mouse coming in from under the house where our washer and dryer hoses come in at the floor.

I was right.

Am I good or what?

Trust me, I would hack Numa up in a hurry.........

My kids and I were discussing the book Elf on the Shelf, a book about an elf that reports back to Santa whether you have been good or bad. The thing is the book comes with an elf and you can move him around at night to different spots and the kids hunt for him or take notice the elf had moved and so forth. Some view it as a fun thing to do at Christmas, it's a fun tradition.

But my manic children and I were discussing how scary the elf looks over lunch with his eyes all glancing sideways.

We have just gotten M & Z into Alfred Hitchcock TV despite, they are in black and white they are LOVING them....scary but not too scary, just enough to get you creeped out. We had just watched the one where the little girl gets a doll, named Numa, from her uncle. The doll actually comes to life and plays with the little girl and in the end the doll takes the roll of the little girl and runs off and leaves the little girl in the form of a doll.

So Elf on the Shelf running around our house at night changing his location is creepy ;o)

M says at the lunch table- Is Elf on the Shelf real?

(uuumm, surely you are a true blonde)

A- Well, I don't know May, let's see, a stuffed skinny half cross eyed elf running around our house at night, because that makes perfect sense...

Z (spelling for Sky's sake for some reason)- P-A-R-E-N-T-S moron!

A- Let me just say this, if some stupid Numa elf was running around our house at night spying on us, I would totally hack it to pieces with a saw immediately...

They all laugh cause mind visuals of that must be funny.

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May in the other room listening to Christmas toy commercials on TV for Town House Barbie

Making up her on jingle she starts singing,

"Farty Barbie
Town House Party"

......this strikes me as snickerable cause she thinks no one hears her.

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Sky had to write some sentences about a sport she liked to play or watch on TV. She isn't an "outside girl" as she says. Sky determined she liked to wrestle with Z on the trampoline so she wants to be a wrestler when she grows up.

Z dubbed her the Skylinator

While we are dubbing names.....

My mom is super fun, and she is going crazy, aren't we all....but we have been calling her "Crazy Nana", instead of just Nana. What's so fun is this became the running theme this weekend while she was here. This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of my dad's passing.

She came and spent it with me, now determined more for me than for herself. Although it went well for both of us because we stayed busy and distracted one another pretty well.

On my side of the family when one does something just insane we say something like, "get off the crack" or mom loves the powders you pour into the water bottles that make flavored drinks, those are called "crack juice." Some one said something or did something you just can't believe "you must be smokin crack" or "OK, crack head" I have no idea how that got started but it has hung around a while. I do it, my sister throws it out sometimes, my brother and my mom do it.

So this weekend it got started that Nana was so crazy she was no longer Crazy Nana, she was Crack Nana. It sounds awful I know, but it was super funny.....at least to us.

So we had thrown that around while dancing in the car, while shopping, eating at Pei Wei, all day Saturday.

Cole goes to church Sunday and sees a little boy and goes to introduce his Nana.......All of us standing their in our minds hoping........ hoping....... hoping .........please don't say it......

"This is my Crack Nana!"

...........He didn't say it!!! Everybody exhales and continues on merrily.......

.........walking down the hall at church, on the way to Sunday school, all of us snickering cause we didn't permanently damage CB on Saturday.

We really love our Crack Nana and totally wanted her to stay just one more day, but alas she couldn't. What could have been an awful weekend for her, she made wonderful for me.......cause she is a giver, not a taker, a character quality I adore in her.


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In case you, like me, have been wondering who threw out all their trash on the side of the road and made a huge mess all in the woods.......at least that is what I thought at first....

Well, just so you know, God made the mess.

The mess is really beautiful up close. I asked May to get out and see what exactly it was, thinking it was wet TP or something.....it was layers upon layers of ice. You could peel them off like an onion. They were super amazing. I got a few images here for you to look at. But my camera just wasn't doing it for me that day. I got frustrated and just decided I would would enjoy the images in my mind.........well, except for these....... you may be able to click the image and blow it up on your screen.