Thursday, April 15, 2010

Mom, did you pee in yer Dolly Diapers?......

I think I am going to post this in my kitchen.

So we had been planning a trip to Dollywood for some time. I was so completely stressed out I had said to D, "We aren't going." Then had a nervous breakdown on the back porch and cried my eyes out with the ugly cry, for like 7 or 8 minutes, till I felt better and D started to laugh at me for being so crazy and losing it.

Then he relayed to me, over the phone that we were going. We all needed to get out of the house and get out of town. He had this brilliant plan to put Sky some giant Ziplocs in our non see through snack bag. If she threw up we'd seal it up and toss it. No need to bring her Coach vomit bucket.

We have been chasing the rabbit she may have a food allergy. So we have cut out all dairy, which by the way is in everything it seems. Yesterday at Dollywood she DID NOT throw up one time. She had some coughing, she held it, breathed a little, took a time out, and everything was furry bunnies and rainbows.

Yesterday was the first day she has not thrown up a minimum of three times since the 31st of March. We were all elated for her. Having fun was necessary yesterday. It has done a world of good for my sanity this morning all ready.


Conversation in the car on the way home....

A- I swear, this is no joke, I need to wear some depends next time I go to Dollywood cause every time somebody bumped me or a ride jolted me, I came so close to peeing on my self that the ride wasn't fun. I had to concentrate on not peeing in my pants. I swear I am going to have to wear those next time.

A-(cont'd) Of course with my luck, I would ride a water ride and be wearing white shorts and everyone would see my diaper.....(insert snotty teen voice)"Hey look! You can see that woman's diaper(insert point and laugh)...I guess I could say......"This isn't my diaper it's my swimmy."

.....then this spews forth.....

M- Yeah, we could call them Dolly Diapers, with Dolly's face on the front and when you pee in them her face disappears.......(in a moms noticing stuff voice)"Moooooom, did you pee in your Dolly diaper?...I don't see Dolly's face....."

D- I think I am gonna get Dolly's face tattooed on my back and my butt cheeks can be her breast, cause it's saggin too.


You might be a redneck, if you wash yer butt in the Dollywood sprinkler park...

....the element of surprise hits him.....

...fight or flight kicks in.....

it's flight.......for sure....

D, being D.....asking me to marry him again.

Me with my pants trying to come off my body from the sheer weight of their wetness, from riding the wet ride almost as soon as we got there.

CB was just 2cm too short, I swear, of riding rides that were not completely stupid. Like the ducks that go around in a circle and that's it... and the idiot pigs that go around in a circle and that's it.

In the movie with the chairs that move around acccording to the movie, so one gets the full effect....he was to short, 2cm. He and I had to sit on some IDIOT bleachers to watch the film, while the others rode the chairs.

When the movie was over, CB says, "That was not fun....." and he was right... it wasn't fun.

While the bigger kids road some other things I took him to ride the ducks, reluctantly he rode them. Each time he went around, I got this...

1st round - no smile, mad look
2nd round - I hate these stupid ducks...(other parents laugh, cause he LOOKS like he hates "these stupid ducks"
3rd round - This is NOT fun, Mom.
4th round - mad face
5th and last round - I'm not riding the pigs. (other parents snicker...again)

CB is tall enough however, to ride the Scrambler with me and May. He loves it!! When the ride is over I say to him, "This was way better than the stupid ducks huh? (I make the thumbs down sign) Down with the ducks!

CB-(with the thumbs down sign) Yeah!....and the pigs too!

He did like the flying elephants and the kiddie roller coaster though.

Tea cups, because she hasn't thrown up enough.......

So dizzy she falls stumbles to ground.

I wasn't to keen on Sky going on the Tea Cups with D. Guys in general have the tendency to over do the spin on the Tea Cups. Sky wanted to ride them though and no one else did. She did ask for him to go faster and he did. I just tried not to think of throw up and hope for a good time.

It happened, nothing but a good time.

May driving me in the cars.....pretending to talk on the phone and wrap her arm around me like I was her date. She's a nut.

...some random flower pics from one of King David's trees. He calls it a Japanese Magnolia. Cornelia and I believe it to be a Tulip Tree. Who cares, it was beautiful in bloom this year.

Today I am thankful for my husband....again....who knows me well enough to not let me hang up on him in agitation of life, let's me cry my fool head off in despair & exhaustion, then laughs at me and presents me with a plan that is real & seems accomplishable.....all in one phone call.

Thank you Lord, for answering my specifics when I was praying for a husband.


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