they don't care, adapt and overcome.............

While D was gone to the beach I stayed pretty busy.............duh.

I told May the first night D was gone I was going to stay up all night long surfing the internet and reading, doing what ever I dang well pleased. I told her when I got up on Thursday morning I was going to be a Zombie and when they ask me questions, no amount of coffee was going to get a coherent answer out of me. This was her warning, spread the word.

I am getting so freaking old though, my butt had to go to bed at 11:30 cause I was just too stinkin tired to stay awake any longer. I was reading with my eyes all rolled back in my head, rockin my head back and forth waking myself up before I slammed my face into my book with my reading glasses on.

I couldn't stay awake past midnight any of the nights he was gone. I completely wasted my "me time" sleeping.

Anyhoo, May and I managed to make 30 jars of jam.....23 jars of cherry and 7 jars of chocolate mint. The cherries were from King David's yard and the chocolate mint from mine.

That day....... I unintentionally worked May like a slave.

She was totally gung ho to do the jam but by the last batch she was exhasuted and so was I. We took a quick swim in the lake(and I say quick cause the cows from atop the bluff were blowing their stank over & down onto the lake and it was gross) and then came back and mowed the grass for 3 1/2 hours.

ON THE #4 SETTING BAAAABBY! You know the saying while the cats away the mice will play......ooooohhh yeah. May and I made the executive decision to really CUT the grass. To heck with this man mowing business about "leave it tall and choke out the weeds, mow the grass on the highest setting"........no way, I got busy with it, Momma didn't play. #4 setting!!!!! woot woot

....then, when I was about finished, I noticed there was a lot of grass sitting on top of the grass. So D would notice I cut on #4 instead of #6........ so then I had to lawn sweep the yard for about another hour or so, which meant May had to spread to the grass around like mulch in the designated flower beds. Ooooohhh but it looked awesome when I was done.

May and I so high five'd on our good work. Which our family is high five impaired so when we hit it on the first try, then we had to do it again..........should have left it at the one celebratory high five.

May relayed to me I had worked her like a slave and she was exhausted, that I OWED her a fun day the next day. We decided to go to Tellico Beach, a place D's parents had taken the kids before while we were out of town.

Mistake #1

I spent till midnight locating the beach on a satellite map cause I couldn't find the address to the place ANYWHERE. This should have been my first clue.

So Saturday we get up, eat, pack a cooler with drinks and food for lunch, get our sunscreen, chairs and beach towels and we are off to Tellico Beach.....with my satellite map.

I swear I am all over the dag gone entrance to the place but all the roads appear to be closed. So I go up and down thinking I have surely missed an entrance road for 20 minutes or so before I finally stop and ask this Tellico Villaginite, Bill Gates look alike, pumping his two seater Mercedes back tire up with what looks like a bicycle pump..... if I am close to the beach....

He tells me to go about 4 miles much further down the road than I have been going and according to my trusty picture map that is wrong....but I do it anyway cause I am getting frustrated. I smile real pretty, thank him, offer to let him call someone on my cell, he tells me "It's okay, he'll be done in just a few minutes, it's really okay despite how it looks." I smile again cause he knows I think he's pumping his tire with a bicycle pump apparently.....and maybe he was. Who cares really?

I get to the beach and its definitely not the beach we were shooting for. It's super small, SMALL! There is a birthday party going on with old people and fried chicken that smells great. I ask them about the other beach, the bigger beach, with the pavillion and they send me back down the street to where I started, gabbing on about some small boat ramp entrance.

The children don't want to stay at Fried Chicken Beach so I drag my dogged car back down to where I started and restart my flippin hunt for the entrance. CAN NOT FIND IT!!!!!!! All the entrances ARE CLOSED....DON'T GO THERE with your car packed IT ISN'T OPEN ANYMORE.

By now, CB just wants to get out of the car and he has started chanting Fried Chicken Beach, Fried Chicken Beach, Fried Chicken Beach......and by golly that's exactly where I go.

Mistake #2

We drag all our crap to the very small beach area and set up. Immediately the kids get into the water. The roped off area has been layered with sharp little tiny pebbles that kill your feet when you walk on them.

They don't care, adapt and overcome.

Suddenly the beach becomes crowded with like 50 kids, ages toddler to 8 years old. The toddlers are tired and screaming and should be napping instead of coming to the water......determined to have a good time we adapt and overcome.

Upon May digging up some sand to make a sand castle, she digs up some moisture in the sand below......the sweat bees descend on us like mad. I mean they are no where else. so we move a little bit and they continue to plague us. Cole is getting cranky now.

While we are eating some lunch and swatting sweat bees I declare that this is the most miserable beach ever.....

A- This is the most miserable beach ever! All in favor of leaving Fried Chicken Beach say "I."

M, CB, & S - "I"

A- Let's roll then people, I am over this, you can finish your lunch in the car.

M- I swear this makes the lake at our house look like a freaking water park. Can we go to the lake when we get home?

Mistake #3

A- Absolutely, yes, we can stay there all night if you want.

When we get home CB is zonked out, and it is beginning to rain.

We never get to the lake. I felt so bad for them. I felt like a failure at being the fun parent. I was so disappointed for them. I guess Tellico Beach is a beach reserved for their memories with their grandparents.........

.............while I get stuck with the memories of Fried Chicken Beach.......eeeesh