Tuesday, February 16, 2010

a monster truck stuck in yer hair is wretched.........

We have a stray "weenie dog" that runs our neighborhood. He's pretty friendly & cute. Jenny hates him cause we always pet him.

Although..... they have gotten a little more friendly with the butt sniffin here lately...anyway, that's probably TMI.

So CB sees the "weenie dog" running through the back yard and proceeds to call out to me,

"The goober dog is in our back yard!"


CB was doing this cameo appearance in a commercial for a friend of ours. He owns a carpet cleaning business. They were to do the shoot at 1:00, we were to be there at 1:30 so CB wouldn't have to wait around and so forth.

So I go to take a bath. My head is submerged under the water, with my eyes closed tight, so that I can get my hair wet for washing. When I pull myself out of the water and open my eyes, I see CB standing on the side of the tub, naked as all get out, with clear swimming goggles on his eyes. He has a car in one hand and a monster truck in the other.

CB- (to loudly) MOM! Can I get in the baff wiff you?! (He gets into the tub, so it really wasn't a question.)

The monster truck is one of those that you push to the ground and the wheels roll hot,
push it forward to the ground some more and the wheels want to GO, GO, GO,
push it to the ground and let it go again and HOT DOG!!
The truck is hauling donkey's butt over any and everything in it's path.

He's doing this motion on my legs......and hear this..........out of the blue, he jerks the truck to my back and lets it roll up my back at a high rate of speed and into my hair............

yeah........into my hair..........and the wheels are tangled in the back right side of my Napoleon Dynamite hair.......

My first thought is....... Really God? I'm just trying to take a bath........Couldn't you have distracted the boy for 15 minutes so I could take a bath???

A- COLE! The monster truck is stuck in my dang hair boy! What on Gods green earth would make you think to roll that thing up my back and into my hair dude?!

CB- I don't know Momma, you hair told me to do it, my truck wanted to roll in you hair momma...

A- What??!

To me that is Cole talk for, "I just saw fluffy curling hair and wanted to see what would happen and now I know." Sort of like when he needs a nap he says, "I don't need a nap, my brain just needs to rest a little bit."

I'm working the wheels out of my hair, as I am trying not to get stupid with my language on the child. I am pulling little strands of tangled wet hair out from around the wheels. If I let go of the metallic orange truck it hangs from my hair. I think I should just leave it there and go to the commercial thing with the truck stuck in my hair....cause that's just the kinda girl I am. Who needs impractical earrings when you can wear a monster truck in your hair?

I didn't wear it, cause a metallic orange monster truck stuck in your Napoleon Dynamite hair is wretched.

moving on..............................

So me, D & May are watching the evening news one night. The anchor tells us the Waffle House on x, y, z, road got robbed.

In my mind, I'm like what moron robs the dang Waffle House....that's where they are supposed to go eat after they rob a gas station.

I'm still lost in the that thought when May comes off with this impression......

With one eyebrow cocked up, her shoulders hunched over like the hunch back of Notre Dame, holding out an invisible bag and some crazed out geeks gone wild voice......

"Hi, I'm creepy, I just got out of my straight jacket, now hand over all yer waffles, put'em all in tha bag and leave the ones out that are scattered, smothered, & covered." (and her one raised eyebrow was flinching)

......this was so random, it cracked my butt up. It told me in her mind, she also was thinking that the person who would rob a Waffle House must be a moron.

What is wrong with people these days?

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