.............like an elephant balancing on a ball

Cole seems to need constant attention these days.

My theory goes like this: Since he has been entertained and held constantly since he was a baby by someone....since he has always had a few siblings that were always in his face for entertainment or other wise, he has grown to expect someone to be in his face constantly for entertainment or otherwise.

It could be a full time job trying to keep Cole happy. He could really care less that I have laundry to do, that I need to fix food, grade papers, do dishes, walk & feed a dog, or pay bills.

I believe Cole just wants mommy time without interference. Parts of me say well he should, May got my undivided attention when she was little. Then the other parts of me say people in the 40's and 50's didn't do the dog and pony show for their kids every day and they turned out to be pretty responsible adults.

All that to say... yesterday I had false guilt about not making an effort to be the parent I had been to Maysie when she was a baby..... so CB and I played games almost all day yesterday.

We played Mancala by his rules which changed every few moves and ended up being a throw your gems in the holes game from a distance. We played Battleship, his way, which turned into a bloody massacre of the seas. The red pegs being blood from the bombs (Mancala gems) that exploded on the ships that were surrounded by white pegs. The white pegs represented people thrown from the boats during the bombing. We had to do distressing and "save me"screaming and the whole works. I didn't enjoy that game.

So Jenny was pestering me to pet her and play with her also. Because apparently she thinks I am her human and pony show too. I did not feel false guilt for her.

I kicked off my Crocs which have started to make my feet smell like funky chocolate skunk or something......the smell was .......

....not good.

So this happened...

A- Hey Cole Bear I know what... lets play Everybody Sniff Mom's Feet. (I stick my feet up for Jenny to smell, she does)

Jenny- sneeze, sneeze look at me out of the corner of her eyes likes she wants to bite my foot off.

CB laughs cause he can smell my feet and thinks its funny for Jenny to smell my feet. When I tell him its his turn he does the duck and cover move and tells me, "No Momma!"

CB thinks this is a great game for Jenny though and sticks his feet in her face too. Jenny sniffs his feet. Then Jenny rolls over on her back for him to scratch her belly. I guess that means his feet smell better than mine.

Then Cole notices Jenny's dog toy and begins to throw it for her to fetch. She loves this game and is a great fetcher. I instruct Cole to go and lay down on the floor and I will get Jenny to jump over him as she fetches the toy. She can jump over three of them at a time so Cole is an easy jump.

He does and it's fun for a while. He gets tired of laying there and CB instructs me to lay down while he throws and she jumps over me. So I do and Jenny does.

He grows tired of throwing so hard and then actually throws the toy at me on purpose. Jenny runs really hard right towards me and can't stop in time.

She comes to a halt on my face.

Jenny has all four paws standing on my face wiggling around like an elephant balancing on a ball. She finally realizes that I am going to get up quickly, digs her paws into my face(which includes one of my nose holes & a corner of my mouth) for traction and scurries in lightening fast fury down my body and onto the floor.

A- CB!! REALLY??!!

He is cracking up laughing going on about "Jenny standing on you face, let's do it again." laugh, laugh, laugh some more, in fact then he has this other idea......"Hey let's play jump over Momma."

He is suddenly running at me full speed. I haven't fully recovered from Jenny on my face.

You have no idea what it feels like to know a 4 year old child is running at full speed to jump over you and you aren't able to get out of the way quick enough, so you must endure whatever is to happen.

He is at me stomping, I squeeze my eyes tight and make my stomach muscles as tight as possible for 4 year old foot stepping on impact, and he is over me.........I'm good. I open my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief.

CB- COME ON JENNY!! Let's do that AGAIN!! (he's running)

A- No CB! (My butt is moving as fast as it can to get to the upright position off of the hardwood floor.)

He manages to jump over my legs only and I am up.

I am done with that game.

My false guilt is gone.

I feel no remorse for not playing with the baby anymore. I have switched to 40's and 50's parenting mode. So be it if he doesn't turn out fine cause I didn't play games with him. I am completely done with the dog and pony show for the day.

The jumping over mommy game was scary as hell to me. I had nightmares about it last night.