Friday, July 16, 2010

Holy Cow! Is that a turd?...........

I am eating a banana.

Sky - mmmmmm, can I have a bite of that?

Sky ALWAYS wants what I am eating. She will eat whatever I want her to eat if I very casually pretend whatever I am eating is delicious ....she'll eat it. Sky eats almost every food. She is the best eater I have as far as variety goes.

I know how she feels. When D is eating something I know I can't stand, he makes it look like it tastes delicious. I am compelled to ask for a bite.

I risk messing up my "perfect taste" by contaminating it with a bite of his food. D does it to me and in return I do it to Skylar.

This banana is a plain old banana though.

A- Sky I swear if I ate a turd you'd want a bite.

Sky- Holy Cow! Is that a turd? You gonna eat that turd? Can I have a bite??!

It's funny so I give her a bite. She likes it and takes the whole banana with her off to play.


Now that all the gardens are coming to fruition, everyone around here has fresh tomatoes. Some folks go a little further and grow squash, zucchini, and cucumbers. The people who are straight up just gettin wild on us are the eggplant, bell pepper, and cantaloupe peeps. If you know someone growing eggplant right now, I bet they have a decent sized garden. I am willing to bet they aren't just growing tomatoes and eggplant in containers.

Anyhoo, since M & Z have some side jobs for some of our neighbors. As payment they bless my kids with some cash and bless me with some of their crops. Which is awesome! I have had some amazing zucchini this year and haven't been found wanting for a single cucumber all summer.

One of May's peeps has an amazing garden and she brings me the biggest stuff I have ever seen.

But..................she always drops by without calling first. I swear every time she comes by it looks like I combed my hair with a fire cracker and I am wearing a uni-boob bra with my pajamas that don't match. I swear every time. This used to happen with the woman that brings me eggs too, but now she calls first which is super cool.

So I am cleaning out CB's room one day and rearranging his furniture. In this particular state, uni-boob, pajamas, firecracker hair, and my dog is barking her head off....this indicates someone is at my door more than likely.

I'm not worried. My kids plus King David's teenage grandson are in my living room watching TV or something. I figure they will handle it. They do.

They all at once come into CB's room and tell me Mrs. Great Garden is here and has brought some vegetables.

A- (start a ranting) Great! I wish I knew she was coming. It looks like a bomb went off in this house. My hair looks like I combed it with an egg beater, I have this awful bra on with no support whatsoever and Cole's bedroom is all over the hall. Why does she always come over when I look like a mad woman. I swear every time she comes I look rabid.

All 5 kids are staring at me.

Z- (quietly) Mom, She is in the living room.

uuumm..........embarrassed..........cause normally she doesn't come all the way inside.

PJ (King David's grandson) starts snickering a bit cause it is clear I am completely surprised and he feels sorry for me.....I think. He then relays to me quietly he thinks this situation is "so funny."

I suck it up and run my fingers through my hair, re-adjust my head band, wipe the sweat off my face and go out to the living room. My strategy is to just address it head on.

A- Hi Mrs. Great Garden. I swear I do get dressed and brush my hair everyday.

Mrs. GG - Honey, it's okay I had 4 kids I know how busy you are.

A- I know, but gosh every time I see you it's like I look completely slobbish. I feel like I need to take a shower and come to your house when I am through so that you can see I can be fairly decent looking if I want to.

Mrs. GG - (heading through my laundry room wear I have clothes hanging to dry and sorted into no less than 5 piles to wash) Don't worry about it, I know what it's like, I was just out and wanted to drop these by while I was thinking about it.

A- Well, thank you for thinking of us we have really been enjoying these and I have passed a few on also so others can enjoy them too cause they are so big we can't eat them all in proper time.

Mrs. GG- (weaving through my obstacle course in the laundry room now) Yeah pass them on I will bring extra cause we can't eat all of it either and I don't know most of our neighbors that well.

A- I always pass them on in your name so you get credit. Thank you again for bringing these to us. I promise next time to try and look clean at least, I was cleaning out Cole's room, it looks like a bomb went off and exploded books & clothes everywhere.

Mrs. GG - Honey, it's okay, really, look at me, do I look dressed up?

A- No, but you at least look clean and your hair is brushed.

Mrs. GG -(she waves me off like I am foolish and for me to shut up) See ya later.....

A- Okay, BYE!!!

I go back in the house and all the kids are staring at me with faces that read You so got busted.

A-aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! That was mortifying! Why didn't you tell me she was in the house???!!

Z- I did!

PJ- That was so funny. You shoulda seen your face.

A- I am utterly mortified. What can I do? I guess you get what you get when you come by with out calling first. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh I could just die twice! the past two times she has been over to drop off veggies........she left them on the door knob in my garage.

I gotta do better than that.

1 comment:

Linear Heritage of Women said...

Hey! At least she got the message! Sometimes you have to do that to people so they know that it's not okay to just pop in to your house. I'm sure she got over it pretty quickly.