I can't pith a frog!.....................

In the car Sky is asking questions about this and about that. She is talking incessantly and literally my ears are starting to hurt.

No one in the car is listening. The questions being asked are simply irrelevant to any one thing in particular .....talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, talking, talking, talking, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?, mom?

Z from the very back seat - SKY!!! Are you EVER going to just SHUT UP?!!

May - Everybody in the car who wants Sky to shut up say "I."

A,M,Z, & CB - "I!!"

S - Look, I just want to know about some stuff.

.........................................................

......eating Cotton candy in the car that they have received as a party favor. Sky used to gag horribly from eating cotton candy because of the texture. But on this day she has been especially brave at a gymnastics gymnasium and decides to try it again.

S- mmmmmmm, this stuff is delicious!

she procedes to eat as much as she can as quickly as she can.

A- Sky, don't eat all of that right now Babe, you'll get sick.

M- I can't believe you are eating that, you used to hate cotton candy.

Z- You know.... if she likes it now, you know what this means??? It means I don't get to eat her portion anymore, come on Sky gag a little..........

S- No, I love it! I don't feel gaggy at all, in fact I am going to eat the whole bucket right now.

A, M, Z - NO!! (especially after the talk, talk, talk session we had shut down on the ride over to the birthday party)

again, M- I can't believe you are eating that, you used to hate cotton candy.

S- It's just that it used to be so fuzzy.

..............................................................

After we left the birthday party we went to Borders book store to find a "Dairy Free For Dummies" book. I really don't like Borders that much. I absolutely NEVER find the book I am looking for when I go in. I always seem to go back though.

The lull of the beauty of the books all around the coffee shop area and their clearance makes me feel a little too excited when I pull into the parking lot.

.....but I ALWAYS leave disappointed. Their young adult reader section was slam full of trash. Among the 75 different vampire books May could have chose from (cause everyone is trying to cash in on Twilight success and can't think of their own stuff apparently), there were also books with making out teens on the front and books with titles that made reference to someone who might be hooked on drugs...like, "Crank" & "Tricks." Finding nothing, May was utterly disgusted and wanted to leave immediately.

After I accused her of drama and hormones.....I had to apologize, she was absolutely right.

Z found the first book in a series he had wanted to start. He was happy. Cole bought himself a penguin that winds up and swims in the tub with him. He was happy.

In fact everywhere he trailed me, he was winding up that penguin and it was making this hideous, super fast flapping, unwinding sound that made me want to throw the thing across the store. I mean who puts those toys in a book store where people are trying to focus on reading??

So I am in the illness & disease section......among the 100's & 100's of diabetes books cause everyone is overweight in TN apparently....... there is one dairy free book.

Chrons, IBD, Gluten free, cancer, anorexia, back problems, & colon cleansing.....one dairy book that tells me how to make Sky some cranberry-raisin, scrod scrambled eggs or some crap.

Scrod eggs sounds vulgar. It's like scrotum eggs or crotch eggs .....I just can't feed something with that name scrod to my girl, I am sorry.

I learned later scrod was fish....so surely cranberry, freaking, raisin scrod dang scrambled eggs for breakfast for an adult.....uumm, no........for a 7 year old........NEVER!

Me and two other ladies standing in the disease and illness book section. One lady is a hippie who doesn't shave and has dirty toenails, looking at a cancer picture book. The other lady is older than me by 20 years and looking at a back stretching book.

CB- (fart...poot poot) Excuse me I farted. (smiling showing me his buck teeth with his penguin flapping to loudly)

A-(whisper) Cole, sshhhh! Stop that penguin and don't say that out loud again, please.

CB - (not whispering) Okay, I won't say that I farted again Mom, okay?

A- (whispering harsh) Cole!

CB- (whispering harsh back) What? I said I won't say that I farted Mom.....

A- (trying to hurry now and find the book, that I never find and get out before things get too stupid)

CB- Mom (louder than I am comfortable with, not a whisper at all) Can I say my penguin farted?

A- ( I'm outta here, the getting stupid is on)

.............................................................

....talking with King David on his porch about signing May up for a biology class with labs next year at a co-op. King David used to teach public school biology.

King David is asking me if I buy a frog from Apologia, is it alive?............. Uh, no.

A- What would I do with a live frog?

King David - You have to pith him.

A- What??

KD - You have to quickly push a sharp metal probe through the skin from the back of the neck up into the brain and scramble his brains, you can dissect him while he is still alive....you can see how the organs and so forth work.

A & M - What?! Gross!!!

A- I have never pithed a frog. That is horrible, I couldn't do that!

KD- Well, I can do it with her. I have my microscope and stuff, I have to find it. You get the frog.

M- I don't want to pith a frog, eww. I'd be just as happy if it was dead.

KD- Yeah May, but you don't get to see the good stuff when it's dead.

M- (intrigued...but still disturbed)

Derrick- Well May, you'd have to do it right.....you might get warts if you "pith" off the frog.

.....classic......