O is for Oreo's that are delicious to eat!!!........

I mean, I hate to be part of the "I told you so" crowd......but...

I freaking told you so!

The allergy gal called this morning and said Sky did test positive for dairy allergy.....

I hate to be this way, but I swear sometimes people make out like you are crazy when you just know something about your child is not right. Regardless of what the blood would have shown, I would have left her off the dairy.

This weekend was the best weekend she has had in a month. She has been off the dairy now 2 weeks and the difference in her is night and day. The coughing is minimal and virtually no gagging....maybe once or twice a day some small gags but all in all I am very, very pleased at how well she is doing.

She and I are ready to bury the Coach throw up bucket deep under the ground.

D had me look up the "Ezekiel 4:9" bread ingredients that caused her to throw up so hard last week or so...........low and behold the ingredients so closely mimic the protein during digestion of "milk, eggs, & whey" that they had caused her to vomit hard. I had thought it was the nuts/seeds in the bread or something, but that wasn't it at all, it was the proteins the bread makes during digestion mimicking milk proteins. I feel so relieved to just know some things for sure in my mind.

Now I really do have a plan that is based on something real and not just me floundering around making a bunch of guesses.

It isn't that I trust some doctor to know my child and make decisions for me...its just knowing that I am not overreacting and getting all nutted up.

Just want to give a shout out to Dr. John Fox (my favorite chiropractor) and his wife Shay for being such great friends to D and I even when we are so far away. Thank you John, for letting me go off on my tangent then giving me solid encouraging advice. Thank you for reminding me of the things I needed to thank God for when I was neglecting them. Thank you Shay for letting me be a crazy mom and encouraging all my mommy eccentricities...for encouraging me to be diligent about my own child's health and not be intimidated. Oh yeah, and for sending me countless delicious food pics that make Sky feel normal.........like Oreos ;oD

Amy & "Greg" miss you so much.....please move to TN, we need you here more than they need you there!!!!!!!!!

Oh, she said she wants the soup." ..............

Maysie went with Sky and me to the allergy doctor. She was amazed at all the food they prick test for.

M- Wow, they have everything on here including star fruit...

A- Wow, star fruit?

M- No, just kiddin.

M- (like ordering in a restaurant in a snotty valley girl teen voice) Um yeah, can I have a grilled chicken sandwich, and can you totally tell me if it has star fruit in it?.... I am allergic to star fruit. So can you just totally put the star fruit sauce on the side....duh..

A- (I laugh cause she is so dang funny at the right times like her dad. Her hillbilly voice overs and valley girl voice overs are spot on. She makes me smile. )

..........................................................

Cause I haven't been sleeping good my jaw has been killing me and my tongue has this horrible metal taste that I cannot brush off with my tooth brush.

So I jokingly say to Zac in the car on the way to the soccer game..

A- I probably have mouth cancer or tongue cancer or something cause my bad attitude is making me say ugly things, I probably need my tongue cut off....(it's harsh I know, but I was joking)

Z is mortified by the thought, which I did not expect. He says, "Mom, promise me you will make a dentist or doctors appointment, I don't want you to die."

A- Z I was just kidding.

Z- Yeah, well promise anyway.....

A- I will, just let me get through with the Sky stuff first.

Z- (he is really serious) No, promise me......I can not have a mom with no tongue....that is really disturbing.

...........................................................

So I am telling May about this conversation when we get home last night cause it struck me as funny he was concerned that he would have a mom with no tongue....for real.

(May stayed home last night with Vomit Mary & CB, cause it was cool when the sun went down.)

May- (pretending to be me with no tongue)

"blath thall soooooth hof thall thall whuuuh"

( pretending to be a waiter)

"What did she say"

(Now herself)

"Oh, she said she wants the soup." (insert big friendly smile)

My butt fell out cause that was just so stinkin funny to me.

I tell you there is something wrong with us that kind of humor is just sick.

Have you ever heard of anyone playing the difdle, the lifdle, or the liddle before.............

Doing phonics with Sky some time this week, the word in the sentence is "fiddle"....

S- liddle

A- try again

S- lifdle

A- Sky, please....look at each letter and read that kindergarten word.

S- Shiddle

A- (I snicker...Z at other end of the table snickers)

S- Whats so funny?

A- Nothing read the word...

Z- (completely sidetracked now at Sky saying "shiddle" instead of "fiddle"...still trying not to snicker)

S- What?!

Z- Sounds like something a little dog, like Jenny, would do.....

A- (I try not to laugh, cause that is borderline foul) Z, that's enough.

S- Like, Jenny did a little "shiddle."

A & Z - (laughing cause she has no idea what she has implied and has used it correctly)

Z- SKY! Don't say that!

S- Why? Is shiddle a bad word?

A- No, but it sounds awfully close the way you just used it.

S- Well I didn't know.

A- Don't use that word even when you're playing around Babe, cause it sounds ugly. It's close to an ugly word used for dog poops. Now read this word please.......(try to refocus on phonics and ignore Z still snickering under his shirt that is pulled over his nose)

S- (lacking total focus now & off in some other time zone) Mom? Is shiddle the same word as damn-it?

Z & A - SKY!!!!

Z- (has to leave the table cause he's so sidetracked by her blatant ability to use cuss words with no remorse in inquisitiveness)

A- Sky, yes... those words are in the same ugly word category. Now I want you to get those words out of your mind and quit contaminating yourself. If you blurt those words out again I will get angry. It is determined now that those words are not to be said, they are both not good words. If I hear them again I will put soap on your tongue. (which I know is a lie.... cause you know, I am so done with the throw up) FOCUS PLEASE! Read.... this..... word!

S- difdle......oooh Mom,(whine) I don't know this dumb word, cause now it looks like an ugly word in my mind.

A- Sky the word is dang FIDDLE. Have you ever heard of anyone playing the difdle, the lifdle, or the liddle before?!

S- No, and actually, they don't play the shiddle either.

Z- (busting out laughing in the other room)

I send them both to their rooms, until I can go pray a little bit in my closet. Then we break for lunch, and don't do phonics for two days to be sure that word has long passed both of their minds.

.........................................................

Me, May & Z going over their math at the kitchen table, Cole playing with a short pencil at the other end of the table.......we are not really paying attention to him. There is a break in the conversation and some pause while we think on some stuff and we hear this....

C- (in a perfect Englishman accent) Good Day Suh.

When we look up he has a short pencil squeezed in between his nose and upper lip like a thin mustache. Random, unexpected, and dang funny......

........................................................

Can't sleep........

Tuesday morning up at 4:20 am grading papers........

Wednesday morning up at 5:00 am grading History tests.....

Thursday morning up at 4:50 am reading on constitution stuff for this afternoon.....

......................................................

I took Sky to the allergist yesterday. They skin prick tested her again, which they just did in October of last year. So I thought that was....uumm.... retarded!

All the test were negative for food allergy..... again.

I mean I wanted to say.....the food is messing her up inside her body...inside her body, during swallowing & digestion....I don't rub the food on her skin.......she doesn't break out in hives...SHE VOMITS LADY!!! Just cause you stick some milk on her back she isn't going to VOMIT...it just doesn't make logical sense. I mean if we give the child "a trace amount on non fat dairy" in a slice of bread she vomits. She said her tongue feels fat, May & I have witnessed her uvula swollen...she gasps for air sometimes...THAT IS SCARY TO ME!!!

Every time she coughs at night or starts gagging I wake up and run to her room cause I am afraid she is going to choke or her throat will swell up and I won't know it.

So keep her off dairy Amy & shut up for petes sake....

Well duh.

That's what we've been doing. I swear though, if I hadn't had said I wanted a blood test yesterday just to give me some peace of mind, the gal wouldn't have taken any. She tells me we could try giving her "a little lactaid, even though I don't think that will do much at this point and see if that works, she may just be highly intolerant of dairy."

I am like, no shiddle Lady, she is highly intolerant at the minimum right now.

She then tells me that Sky has no signs of drainage in her nose or throat, but she is going to give her a nose spray anyway.

.....Like the pediatrician that took blood to check her white blood cell count. It was perfect indicating no bacterial problems....but let's give her 14 days worth of antibiotics on top of the 10 she has already taken that aren't working and some more steroids too......cause she just isn't jacked up, gagging, & throwing up enough.

.....Like the Gastro docs office......I tell them Sky has been throwing up every time she eats for two weeks, I would like to bring her in.

Nurse No You Can't Come In - Well if she is coughing she needs to go the pediatrician , call us back if it becomes a digestion issue.

SSSSSCCCCRRREEEAAMMMM!!!!!!!!! I said she is throwing up every time she eats, did you catch that??

So the pediatrician says he has done all he can do, take her to the Gastro.

The allergy lady says she has done all she can do...by giving us nose spray and telling me not to give her dairy if she throws up when she eats it......again, no shiddle...... like I am a moron who loves to clean up throw up and I need to be told that. Take her to the Gastro.

I am serious.......... I am about to become a crack head.

....... with my own special crack pipe with my name air brushed on the side in metallic letters.

I am gonna wait on the blood work to come back. If it shows nothing, I am busting the Gastro's door down and commencing a smack down till he checks her out.

I mean, literally I have done all I can by omitting the dairy, but she is starting to gag again at night. It was getting better once the dairy was gone, but it's like I am filling her with soy now and she is trying to start all over....anything with colored dye....cough, cough, gag, gag.....

I am starting think my Obamacare has already kicked in and no one told me.

No shiddle.

I slapped him with my long, thick piece, of wet beef jerky........

Now where was I.......Wally World & Lucy from Losertown.....

May finds two bathing suits, bikini's. She wants them, they look cute on her. I vowed I'd never let her have one & her daddy would die twice before she wore one while he was kickin around.

....we bought them both.

Hoping her dad would let her keep them.....albeit her oldest brother on the other hand....having a fit.

Z- I don't know why you are letting her buy one of those, much less two of them. Dad is not going to let her keep those. May, you never even wear bikini's.....

M- I always have one every summer...

A- Well, you have a two piece, not a bikini....there is a difference.

Z- You don't even have a curves to fill it out for petes sake!

A- Well yes she does or the thing wouldn't fit. She is getting older despite your resistance to realize she is a teenage girl who doesn't always want to play trampoline baseball with you all the time.

Z- She can get a 2 piece without getting a bikini....May, when you swim that top is not going to be comfortable.

M- Yes it is Zac! Besides I am not planning on wearing these to Logan's to chicken fight anyway...

A- Good thing! If we get these you can wear them on the boat and at the lake with us to get a nice tan. When we go to a friends pool, it'll be best for you to wear something you can rough house in that doesn't scream, "flesh!"

M- I know.....

Z-GOSH!! I am so over shopping for bikini's, bra's and girls panties...when I get home I am going over to King Davids to sit on the porch with the men!

...................................................

On the way home Z is fully exhausted from a half night of sleep at the camp out, weed eating, shopping for girly products while entertaining Cole so I can attend to the girls....and he can't find any good music on the radio and now Sky is going off with her steroid hyped tirade as if she has tourettes or something....Z is seeking quiet and sleep, he ain't gettin it.

May is in the back seat inserting the words "Applebees, Applebees" to the song "Immo be, Immo be" by the Blackeyed Peas. We aren't listening to that on the radio cause it's foul and Z has just changed the station......now some guy is singing "nut, nut, nut nuttin on you babe....nut, nuttin on you"....May changes it to "puke, puke, puke, puke-in on you Mom.... puke, puke-in on you"

Z- Everybody in the car who wants May to shut up say "I."

A, S, Z & CB (who suddenly wakes up from playing possum cause it's his new fun thing to do) - "I"

M- Why am I always the one who gets voted to shut up unanimously? (She doesn't shut up)

Z cuts the radio off & lays the seat back a bit....Sky's white trash dirty toes are in his hair.

That's it! He's done! Z blows up, goes off on Sky, and the words are tired and on the verge of being regrettable....so I stop him.

I slap him in the arm with my long, thick piece, of wet beef jerky.

Z- Mom! Really?? Did you just totally hit me with your wet meaty treat??

A- Yes. Stop talking so ugly, you are going to regret what you say cause you are tired. How did you know it was wet?

Z- Well let me see....my arm and my face are damp, gross, for petes sake.

......................................................................

So we're home now. Groceries have to be put up, do some more laundry, give kids medicine, get teeth brushed, get'em tucked in, do some dishes, take the dog out, put some stuff in the attic, put some stuff away in my bathroom........

Stop! Hear this!

In my bathroom, candles are around the tub and the lights are low. D has put a bath bomb that he has found somewhere in this house into bathwater that he has ran for me. The hot water has run out from kids showers, so he is hustling back and forth putting like 7 or 8 pots of super heated to boiling water in the tub for me.....so it will be hot when I get in, cause I like HOT HOT HOT baths.

I am immediately grateful. This tells me he knows I am tired and weary and he is showing me mercy. He sees I am pleased and he is pleased with himself.

I have a hard time accepting gifts. But I thought of a conversation my sister and I had about me just saying "Thank you," and enjoying the gift.

So that is what I did, gave him a kiss and said Thank you.

I climbed into the tub, he pulled the door semi shut and turns on some Norah Jones, ready to leave me to myself for some peace and quiet. Before that though, he brings me two cucumber pads from the fridge to put onto my eyes while I rest in the tub.

Derrick was my hero, as always these days......saving me from myself.

You can't take yer pants off right out here in the open.........

Saturday @ 7:15 I got up and started getting breakfast ready for the American crappy food eaters in my house. This consisted of reheated french toast from the day before, 1% milk and cereal with unnatural dyes in it, juice and Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee.

D got up and fixed food for the Jamie Oliver Food disability people in my family which consisted of egg whites , 1 biscuit, 1 piece of toast with Smart Balance non dairy butter like substance that we pretend to think is delicious for Sky & some summer sausage.

By 7:50am I am off to get Z from a boys Awana TNT camp out. D is heading to King Davids with Caesar & Cornelia beginning Saturday morning rituals.

Once home I work in the yard rearranging my plants like I do every year. This year I moved a miniature rose bush that tries to thorn me to death every time I trim the thing. I could not bring myself to full out kill it cause I wanted the bush so badly long ago. I moved it to a spot where it could go wild far away from the kids and me. I mean the thing has thorns on it that could have been put on Jesus' crown. It's a hateful plant.

After that I gab with Cornelia a bit, then gab with our step-dog's mom a bit, finish weeding, and then head in the house to watch Justin Bieber on SNL with May, Sky, and Z that I had DVR'd for them so they could see what JB looks like.....cause at first we all thought it was a girl who sang this song.......

...the boy is only 16 but the tune is so catchy & fun...and he favors Z...well to me anyway. Except I think Z is better looking, I swear I do....but Z....he can't sing, he just can't, but he's cute to look at and that makes up for it.

next..........

So D decides he is going to spray our house for bugs instead of pay for a contract with an exterminator. Which I am down with, cause I guess the exterminators think fireworks shoot out of their bug killing dispensers. I don't think they are aware the economy sucks right now.

Though he has been telling me all day he is going to spray that evening and we'll need to be out of the house for several hours, I neglect to be proactive and make sure everyone gets a shower before we have to leave. D is NOW in full combat gear for spraying and we all basically look like white trash and need to leave the premises.

It's bad....I mean I am wearing a "Roswell" alien fishing hat to keep my afro down, I have dirt from weeding all over my clothes, and a uni-boob sports bra on. I mean it's bad. All the kids are filthy.

Z has been running the weed eater, he's grassy. He is completely freaking out because his hair is messy and his red shirt does not match his red shorts.

Cole has on two different Crocs, a bright neon green one and a Bat Man one. Sky's red teeth aren't brushed from a red drink she had been drinking, she is missing a tooth in the front, which makes her look like a red toothed hill billy, with ratty hair and a dirty face.

May looks decent...somewhat. She gets out of the car at Walmart, where we went to waste time and locate her some play shorts, underwear, and possibly a bathing suit, May says, "We are going to end up on one of those emails that people send out with awful looking folks who shop at Walmart." This makes me snicker.

As I look her over walking in the parking lot, thinking she looks the most decent...I notice she has a conglomerate of at least 15 stickers stuck to the bottom of her shoe, in the stickers is stuck a long piece of flowing white paper......tissue paper.....it's hilarious. I am just laughin away cause I suddenly realize she might be right.

May is delirious laughing with me cause she thinks I am laughing at he Walmart comment and that I think she is funny. I am just about to pee in my pants and she looks down and realizes she has all this crap stuck to her shoe and understands my delirium. She yanks it off and liters the parking lot by throwing it into the wind, keeps walking, ignoring me laughing now. I don't scold her, cause I am so done with the month of April.

Inside Wally World we locate bathing suits for Sky and May. Sky wants her own dressing room.

S- please, please, please mom, I can do it.

A- No go with May so she can help you.

Lucy McLame- a-vich form Losertown, USA, Wally World employee- Umn She can't go in with her cause all people are supposed to have their own dressing rooms.

A- Do you have children?

Lucy from Loserville - No.

A- So you don't get my need to have a helper with this one. She is going to need help getting this on. This 4 yr old is in need of a nap and closing him in that tight dressing room with me is just not optimal for privacy, cause that door won't be staying shut. (I try not to take Cole shopping.....anywhere....for anything. His has the attention span of a gnat. It was already 8:30pm..... past his bed time by the time we got to this point.)

Lucy from Loserville - Well, that is just our policy, one per room, really.... you can't go with her either, one person per room.

A- (I am thinking.... she is a child, LOSER, can I just slap you for being stupid NOW. We are the only people in the fitting area, count the dumb clothing hangers and see we have 3 suits a piece and try not to get power crazy with your dressing room authority)

A- One day you are going to have children and you will remember my face when you are struggling in a dressing room and need a little help.

Lucy from Loserville - (smiles) Yes....

Sky manages to get her suit on with out my help, and comes out to show me. She has taken off her underwear.

A-(whispering in her ear) Sky, you have to leave your panties on, Babe. Suppose some dirty girl....... like your self...........hasn't had a bath and tries those on with no underwear....

Sky's light bulb moment happens. Her eyes get as big as half dollars and and she starts taking off her pants right there on the spot.

A- Wait, wait, wait, Sky! You can't take yer pants off right out here in the open go back in and try another bathing suit on WITH yer underwear on.

She runs back into her dressing room as if she her butt is on fire. When she reemerges with a new suit on..... her neck is in the arm hole and like six straps are across one shoulder like Tarzan....she is smiling, a red one toothed smile, making sure to show me her underwear hanging out the bottom, by having pulled them out the bottom herself to show.

S- I like this one!

I shoot Lucy from Losertown a yer an idiot look and fix the bathing suit.......

Gotta go and start school will finish this later today hopefully, cause this day....it was long.

Mom, did you pee in yer Dolly Diapers?......

I think I am going to post this in my kitchen.

So we had been planning a trip to Dollywood for some time. I was so completely stressed out I had said to D, "We aren't going." Then had a nervous breakdown on the back porch and cried my eyes out with the ugly cry, for like 7 or 8 minutes, till I felt better and D started to laugh at me for being so crazy and losing it.

Then he relayed to me, over the phone that we were going. We all needed to get out of the house and get out of town. He had this brilliant plan to put Sky some giant Ziplocs in our non see through snack bag. If she threw up we'd seal it up and toss it. No need to bring her Coach vomit bucket.

We have been chasing the rabbit she may have a food allergy. So we have cut out all dairy, which by the way is in everything it seems. Yesterday at Dollywood she DID NOT throw up one time. She had some coughing, she held it, breathed a little, took a time out, and everything was furry bunnies and rainbows.

Yesterday was the first day she has not thrown up a minimum of three times since the 31st of March. We were all elated for her. Having fun was necessary yesterday. It has done a world of good for my sanity this morning all ready.

..................................................

Conversation in the car on the way home....

A- I swear, this is no joke, I need to wear some depends next time I go to Dollywood cause every time somebody bumped me or a ride jolted me, I came so close to peeing on my self that the ride wasn't fun. I had to concentrate on not peeing in my pants. I swear I am going to have to wear those next time.

A-(cont'd) Of course with my luck, I would ride a water ride and be wearing white shorts and everyone would see my diaper.....(insert snotty teen voice)"Hey look! You can see that woman's diaper(insert point and laugh)...I guess I could say......"This isn't my diaper it's my swimmy."

.....then this spews forth.....

M- Yeah, we could call them Dolly Diapers, with Dolly's face on the front and when you pee in them her face disappears.......(in a moms noticing stuff voice)"Moooooom, did you pee in your Dolly diaper?...I don't see Dolly's face....."

D- I think I am gonna get Dolly's face tattooed on my back and my butt cheeks can be her breast, cause it's saggin too.

....................................................


You might be a redneck, if you wash yer butt in the Dollywood sprinkler park...


....the element of surprise hits him.....


...fight or flight kicks in.....


it's flight.......for sure....


D, being D.....asking me to marry him again.

Me with my pants trying to come off my body from the sheer weight of their wetness, from riding the wet ride almost as soon as we got there.



CB was just 2cm too short, I swear, of riding rides that were not completely stupid. Like the ducks that go around in a circle and that's it... and the idiot pigs that go around in a circle and that's it.

In the movie with the chairs that move around acccording to the movie, so one gets the full effect....he was to short, 2cm. He and I had to sit on some IDIOT bleachers to watch the film, while the others rode the chairs.

When the movie was over, CB says, "That was not fun....." and he was right... it wasn't fun.

While the bigger kids road some other things I took him to ride the ducks, reluctantly he rode them. Each time he went around, I got this...

1st round - no smile, mad look
2nd round - I hate these stupid ducks...(other parents laugh, cause he LOOKS like he hates "these stupid ducks"
3rd round - This is NOT fun, Mom.
4th round - mad face
5th and last round - I'm not riding the pigs. (other parents snicker...again)

CB is tall enough however, to ride the Scrambler with me and May. He loves it!! When the ride is over I say to him, "This was way better than the stupid ducks huh? (I make the thumbs down sign) Down with the ducks!

CB-(with the thumbs down sign) Yeah!....and the pigs too!



He did like the flying elephants and the kiddie roller coaster though.




Tea cups, because she hasn't thrown up enough.......






So dizzy she falls stumbles to ground.


I wasn't to keen on Sky going on the Tea Cups with D. Guys in general have the tendency to over do the spin on the Tea Cups. Sky wanted to ride them though and no one else did. She did ask for him to go faster and he did. I just tried not to think of throw up and hope for a good time.

It happened, nothing but a good time.

May driving me in the cars.....pretending to talk on the phone and wrap her arm around me like I was her date. She's a nut.







...some random flower pics from one of King David's trees. He calls it a Japanese Magnolia. Cornelia and I believe it to be a Tulip Tree. Who cares, it was beautiful in bloom this year.

Today I am thankful for my husband....again....who knows me well enough to not let me hang up on him in agitation of life, let's me cry my fool head off in despair & exhaustion, then laughs at me and presents me with a plan that is real & seems accomplishable.....all in one phone call.

Thank you Lord, for answering my specifics when I was praying for a husband.

Amen.

I had to put duct tape over Jamie Oliver's mouth........

Sky had this doll when she was toddling around, named Mary. It was a "Groovy Girl." It was actually May's but Sky took the doll over... why? Because she always threw up on it. Since Sky threw up on it so much, the dolls new name was "Vomit Mary."

All Sky's life she has been a gagger, she's got a serious gag reflex. So we have always called her "Vomit Mary" when she is going through a gag and spit up phase.

.....................................................

Getting ready to take Sky to the doctor.....

A- May, I thought you might want to get out of the house since you have been stuck here with Sky on and off while I take Z to soccer.

M- Going to the doctor....oh yay....I guess I could go though......and hold the bucket for Vomit Mary.

S- Hey! I am sittin right here ya know?!

A- I will buy you a Starbucks or something, to make it worth it.

...............................................

A- Sky, what do you want for breakfast this morning?

S- hhmm, how about 3 pills, a pump, and some dry toast.

.................................................

I have been wacthin Jamie Oliver Food Revolution. I am crazy about Jamie Oliver and his plaid shirts. He's a cool guy. So then this........

M- What is wrong with these quesodillas?

A- Nothing.

CB- They taste funny, Mom.

A- No they don't. They taste exactly the same, just a different color. Eat them.

Z-(from another room somewhere) Yes they are different! She's been watchin Jamie Oliver. Now she is on a food revolution.....that is one of Dad and Sky's healthy tortilla's!

M- Well I hate this, it taste like card board.

CB- Yeah!! I don't wike it either mom! Can I have some candy?

A- No, that is what is wrong with you all, you eat crappy unhealthy white food.

M - Yeah, well...Dad has diabetes and then there is Vomit Mary...and they eat the healthiest foods.

..................................................

...in the Walmart one day at about 2:30 pm with Sky and CB after having went to the doctor and literally running all over hell and creation looking for one pharmacy that could fill one single prescription between Oak Ridge and Lenoir City..... we were "starving" cause I had one single cup of coffee that morning before running out the door at 8:00 am, Cole had 1 piece of toast and a cup of milk, and Vomit Mary had pills, pumps, and Sprite......

In delirium the kids are wearing me down for some powdered donuts.

Vomit Mary says....She is going to throw it up anyway so...."Why not eat something that at least taste good going down." I feel like in some distorted version in my mind that ....that makes sense.

I get the donuts.

So we get to the car I give her a diet, caffeine free Dr. Pepper and 3 powdered donuts...same for Cole....same for me.

I think about Jamie Oliver and how he would be going nuts on me. Is that delirium or what? After relentless nights without sleep and madness of the mind in chaos at the house.....I am having visions of Jamie Oliver scolding me in the Walmart parking lot.

so then.........

After being slaughtered at the soccer game last night, in what felt like 95 degree heat, my boys are "starving"..........

CB-(whining) Mom, I hungry I wanna go to Phonics.....(Sonics)

A- Sky can't eat Phonics, we'll pick up some Dice (Domino's, cause the sign looks like dice, when Z was little he called it Dice) cause then we can just scrape off all the cheese for Sky.

I had to put duct tape over Jamie Oliver's mouth, put him in my pocket and start over this morning.

I ain't screamin from the mountain top just yet.......

These past few weeks have been weeks I will not soon forget.

April 2010 will be embedded in my memory for a bit and I will have to shake it off when I think of it.

This has been one of those times when, to quote Alfalfa from the Little Rascals, that I have said...

"....and the sky opened up, and God said, I hate you Alfalfa (Amy)."

I have been wondering constantly what I have done to make God punish me so sternly. But here are three things that gave me "A-HA!" moments....

1. As I was lamenting this thought to my girlfriend Cindi, she told me she'd wondered that herself often in troublesome times. Ultimately though, she came to realize that she had done so much wrong in the site of God that she couldn't find the one thing that God was punishing her for..... so she came to terms with her thankfulness for His grace that covers them all.

I totally was diggin on that. It put a band aid on my woe is me bleeding session.

2. God is the God of love and goodness. Throughout the Bible God tells us he seeks only goodness for us. However, in our disobedience we wreak havoc on ourselves in the form of consequences. So God isn't punishing me. I've basically chosen to waller in my not optimal situations instead of seek Him for peace and understanding.

3. Lots of things have suddenly become clear to me. In the midst of the undesirable stuff happening then, I can look back and see God using those for good in the now situations. They seemed mind jamming at the the time, but are clearly a blessing now.

Sky constantly throwing up is not in that category.......whole other blog.

I know for sure I am grateful that I know Jesus. I don't believe I would have ever seen hope and purpose in some of these irritants if I had not been seeking Him in all things. I would have went on lamenting woe is me Jesus, when are you coming back???!

Though I am not 100% recovered from all of this and screaming on my mountain top how great God is right now...but at least I am heading up the mountain and not down.

Today, I am grateful for God not giving up on me, when I give up on Him. Thank you Lord for not getting off the cross and saying, "I will finish this up later for Amy when I am not so tired," .....like I do to you when I am tired. Thank you for knowing I am a human, even though I am new in you. You know I still need help cause I get wore down......and you never quit on me or get tired.......

You show me glimpses of good when I seek them.
You are strong.
You are diligent.
You are faithful....even when I am not.

Today Lord, I am grateful for those things.

S is for accepting me for trying.........

I am on day 6 or 7 without a night of uninterrupted sleep.

It started last Tuesday night with Cole peeing in the bed at 2:30AM...remember?

Since then Sky has been having Gag Fest 2010. The days had gotten worse so I took her to the doc, who told me, "He didn't really know what was wrong with her." The doc gave her a Z-pac(sp?)antibiotic, for no reason apparently...just to keep it from turning into something else.

That was on a Friday.

Tuesday I took her back in worse than on Friday, with her pink Easter bucket in tow. It's her gagging to the point of throwing up bucket. We have had it for 2 or 3 years now. Caesar's wife, Cornelia, gave Sky a shiny new one this year, full of wonderful goodies. We'll save Cornelia's bucket for carrying good things.

The nurse was all, "Would you like to have a bag instead?"

A- No, this bucket is well christened, and besides we don't throw up in in any old bag you know? We throw up in our COACH stylin Easter bucket.

This Easter bucket is Sky's personal throw up bucket. It has its own place in her bathroom.

So they checked her for pneumonia, she's good. The doc sends her home and ups her steroids for a couple days and relays when she gets off the antibiotic and so forth we can check her sed rate again for more inflammation and go from there. Bring her back Monday so he can look at her.

Cole drank out of Sky's water bottle, he's getting sick.

Yesterday afternoon, the tree cutters cut a tree down onto the power lines..... power goes off, no one gets in or out of the abyss down here....and its hot in the house.....cough, cough, cough, gag, gag, gag....COLE PEE'S THROUGH HIS NIGHT TIME DIAPO @ 3:00AM just after getting settled back into bed after a gag-a-paloosa with Sky!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, pull my hair out strand by strand with tweezers to finish off my torture!

My attitude is on the hairy edge of razor sharp sarcasm. D told me on the phone last night, as I relayed to him he could not get in to the house because of the down tree and power lines, that I have had a bad attitude for three weeks...something like this, "It's like you drank a glass of piss and vinegar and just can't put it down."

I couldn't argue with him, cause I know it's true. I am so tired, from not sleeping and going all day, that I have to try really, REALLY hard to be nice. I am doing okay most of the day, but the bad attitude slips out if just one little crack in the door opens while I am speaking with someone.

Here is a good thing though. Because the power was out, Sarah came a knockin to waste some time with me and bring me some clothes from LJ's Boutique (her son's hand me downs, for which I am very grateful). So I was able to unload my bad attitude on her without judgement and say some things that should have been left unsaid out loud and let go of them. I know I should confess those things to the Lord, as I know a bad attitude is passed on just like a smile is.

I have confessed them to Him.

.........but Sarah...... she lets me be me without holding it against me. I can really appreciate that.

I know, that Sarah knows, I am stronger in Christ, than a moment of bad attitude. She knows I will put my "glass of piss and vinegar" down, in fact pour it down the drain, if I can just ask her to share it with me first.

Sometimes she'll drink it with me. Sometimes she'll take it from me and pour it down the drain herself before I contaminate her.

Thank you Lord for sending me Sarah who doesn't judge me for a moment, but as a whole, accepts me for trying hard.

Happy Easter!

Catching up on some other folks I found this at "I Need a Martini Mom"
http://www.vodkamom.com/



oh yeah...remember this one.....



I'm outta here.

....gotta change my cold weather clothes over to my warm weather clothes.

I think I am gonna need some dang space bags.