you should be afraid, very afraid.....but then that would be Logophobia or is it Verbophobia..........

Last night D and I were discussing stuff before we fell asleep. You know how you do that.....cause D can go to sleep almost instantly if I shut up. I rarely do that cause it takes me till dawn to wind down if I don't read before I go to bed. Anyway conversation drifted from one thing to another rapidly and we started discussing how our dog should not sleep with us.

I think it is okay for Jenny to sleep with us. She is barely 8 pounds on a good day, she doesn't shed, & she didn't get in the lake with us so she still smells good from her bath. She likes to curl up in her tight ball right next to my abdomen.

D was all, "She has ticks"....which she doesn't cause she uses some business that all upstanding dogs use that kill all that stuff with a squirt on the back once a month.

"Well, you said you pulled one off of her, " he said.

A: I did, but heck you have pulled one off of you, after working on the truck.
D: She is a dog, dogs sleep on the floor.
A: (I open Z's door she scurries up to Z's room where she sleeps in the bed with him till she thinks D is asleep then she comes back down to our room and hops onto our bed. When I wake up in the morning, she is in her spot.)
A: Hey, remember that time you had to pull a tick off of R___'s son's willie.
D: oh yeah, that was a weird phone call....Hey Amy can your husband come pull a tick off my son's willie?
A: That isn't quite what she said, nonetheless, is that where ticks like to hang out on men?
D: No! I guess the little boy must have been wearing shorts or something, or had been swinging his tally whacker in the brush where he shouldn't have, peeing outside. She had made a mess out of that tick. Thank goodness I had those good tweezers to get the head out.

That conversation had my brain searching through all sorts of weird phone calls of people telling me different crazy things. Like one time this gal friend of mine, some time ago, told me she had
been diagnosed with Alektorophobia. I said to her, "Lord, I am sorry, that's terrible what is that?".....Fear of Chickens..... She told me this cause we were to go to a kids b-day party at this woman's house who had all these chickens. It wasn't in the south either, it was out west. However, we used to have this guy who had roosters for cock fighting out in his front yard, not to far away from us here in TN. I think he got busted, they aren't there anymore....jailaphobia

If we had Wikipedia around back then I could have just looked that up and not looked like a dang idiot. I could have spared her the embarrassment of telling me she had been diagnosed with "Alektorophobia." Who goes to the doctor to get a diagnosis for being afraid of stupid, dang, chickens??!!

Here are some other stupid phobias:

Acarophobia - Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Acerophobia - Fear of sourness.
Acousticophobia - Fear of noise.
Agrizoophobia - Fear of wild animals.
Alliumphobia - Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions.
Amathophobia - Fear of dust.
Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia - Fear of walking.
Amychophobia - Fear of scratches or being scratched.
Anablephobia - Fear of looking up.
Ancraophobia - Fear of wind. (there are 2 of these. Is one for breaking wind)
Anemophobia - Fear of wind.
Aerophobia - Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airborne noxious substances....this may go with one of the two above, and might be understandable

Anglophobia - Fear of England, English culture, ect.
Sinophobia - Fear or dislike of China, its culture or people
Francophobia - Fear of France, French people, or French culture

Angrophobia - Fear of becoming angry....I do not have this problem
Ecclesiophobia - Fear of churches
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words
Logophobia - Fear of words, talking
Verbophobia- Fear of words.
Nephophobia - Fear of clouds
Phagophobia - Fear of being eaten .....Jeffery Dahmer's jail mate probably had this, before Jeffery ate him.....bad joke

Pyrophobia - Fear of fire ......I believe men rarely have this, it would break the man code
Xanthophobia - Fear of the color yellow (can you imagine? I can barely concentrate, I am so afraid my coworkers yellow dress is going to harm me)

Ommatophobia - Fear of eyes ....Cole has this when he has gotten his butt spanked....He always screams - Don't Look At Me!!

Thalassophobia - Fear of the sea or the ocean
Gnosiophobia - Fear of knowledge
Pantophobia- Fear of everything.
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Syngenesophobia- Fear of relatives......I sometimes have this
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.......mental note to wikipedia this one
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.


Last but not least.....

Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you, also known as Ornithophobia

Having discussed this before .....Maysie called this Aflacaphobia

you can take a girl from the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto outta the girl.....

When I was growing up we lived in apartments. All my life we lived in the same apartments, different units at different times, but at the same place for 18 years. I still keep in touch with lots of those folks, especially now that Facebook has become one of my time wasting, mindless hobbies.

Anyway, we obviously didn't have all the things that were the new and it things when we were younger. I tease my kids now cause at Christmas we got apples and oranges in our stockings with a pack of gum and a lifesaver book. I always tell them Santa must being doing a little better these days ;oD

Once when I was older & married with kids, D & I went to my oldest friend Lisa's new house for a visit and swim. I have known Lisa since she was 5 and I was 6, her sister Maureen was like 4 or something, and their youngest sister Andrea, I have known her whole life......apartment friends.

Lisa was my best friend for as long as I can remember till high school. We were a grade apart, therefore making new best friends and new interest. We always tapped each other in the hallway at school just to say "Hi" even though we rarely hung out anymore. So our time together now is super special, in that we have known one another so long, had 4 kids a piece, & both lost our fathers. Though we don't speak but maybe once a year, we pick up where we left off, it is very comfortable to me.

....back to the story, so we were swimming in the community pool at her subdivision, her sister Andrea was there with her child too. All our kids were swimming & looking for goggles. Andrea piped up and stated, "We don't have any goggles, just use your ghetto goggles."

I was like, "What is that?" Andrea made her pointer finger tips touch her thumb tips, like an "okay" sign, and put them up to her face. We all started laughing. She said, "When we were growing up we couldn't afford goggles and we had to wear our Ghetto Goggles to the pool".....we all thought that was so funny.

...from that point on, anything D & I have had that has been half jacked has been "Ghetto_____".

For example: We have a john boat, it's name is the Ghetto Yacht......our pontoon boat is called Ghetto Yacht....the Sequel.

So last night, I made Skylar a chicken patty sandwich, on wheat bread, cause we were out of buns. I totally cut the bread in a circle, and studied it.

It was so Ghetto Chick-fil-A, it reminded me of Eddie Murphy in the 80's talking about his momma's "big, green peppa welfare burger" while all the other kids had McDonalds. (you can actually youtube that video but it has some pretty bad language, it's funny though)

So here is my Ghetto Chick-fil-A served on ghetto china no less.....

Sky liked it, she ate two...she is surely Ghetto.

I like to lick stamps, especially with milk on them......

One morning I was eating gluten free cereal. I actually have grown to like the stuff. At first I thought it tasted like licking stamps, but now I swear I like licking stamps.
Anyway, D was sitting at the table with me and I was schooling him about how bad gluten was for you even if you are not a celiac. He relayed to me he wanted to eat healthy.

A: No you don't....
D: Yes I do
A: Okay then eat a bite of this gluten free cereal I am eating
D: (getting up from the table, with his mouth opened wide, I shove a big spoon full of it in)

D: (chew, chew, chew, cough, cough, gag a little) You're right, I don't want to eat healthy, this cereal taste like ****!
A: (smiling cause it's funny the cereal made him gag)

Happy Birthday D! xoxoxo