Saturday, January 15, 2011

wear the charm instead...........

sometime ago stuff cause I need to play catch up.......

I had taken Sky to her orthopedic doctor and Maysie tagged along. So happened that day that Derrick flew in from a conference in Florida. He came straight from the airport to the Dr.'s office as a surprise. The office was full of old folks getting their toenails clipped and new shoes and what not. When D came in the girls were so glad to see him that they jumped up and made a fuss right in the office. The old folks liked the ruckus. D settled into a chair next to a much older than us lady. We began to discuss the weather as it was looking VERY stormy that afternoon.

A- It's getting dark toward Oak Ridge...

Old Lady - You should try living in Michigan!

A- Why's that? Is it darker there than here? (not being fresh with her, just curious)

Old Lady - (cricket, cricket...Me, D, & May catching each others eyes)

A- Well, I don't think I 'd like it in's so cold there huh?

Old Lady- Oh...I don't know. I don't remember, But I do remember my brother had the whooping cough at a week old.

I am like...what the heck does that have to do with the price of gold in China??

So all 4 of us squeeze into the room designated for our visit with the doctor. I was unsure whether we had seen this doctor in the practice before so I was giving Sky the run down of things not to do as usual. In all ways Sky is brutally honest. The OCD makes her say the truth in the most detailed way so as not to tell a lie.
When she gets nervous she will blurt out random facts....true things that could be embarrassing if I were so inclined to be. I used to be, but now I am used to it and know to expect random facts that cause cringing.

So the regular speech goes like this...

A- Look, I don't know which doctor you are seeing today. Please keep your random blurting to yourself. Hold it, HOLD it, HOLD IT! Do not say things that I have to explain and side track our visit. Do not say, "I farted" or "Mom broke a wooden spoon on a book cause Zac didn't understand math averages" or "Your breath stinks." If it comes into your brain, HOLD IT!

May- Sky, for real, don't act like a freak. DO NOT FART, this room is small.

D- Yeah, this room is small.

All of these things have happened more than once. Her gastro doc thinks she is so cute and funny he is often sidetracked. He gets so silly with her whacked out comments that she has him so giddy he neglects to see the seriousness of my worries. Then two weeks later we have to come back cause we were dismissed casually....."cause she appeared healthy" and I appeared like a stick in the mud, as usual, and overzealous. The second visit usually gets some stuff done.

Anyone who knows Sky...knows her digestive system, mostly her bowels are not right. Our children's pastor can call it if she has let it go...even silently, it's that distinct. My mom can testify to the foul things that must be inside of her...and so could my dad God love him.

So I tell her..."Instead focus on the charm. You know how to do that. Put it on and wear that instead of the OCD. I can't do OCD today Sky, I mean it. Show daddy how you charm the doctors. He hasn't seen this before.

M- Oh Lord Mom really??

.....the doc comes in, one we have seen before. Smiles, smiles, smiles, handshaking, explain what the situation is, he starts checking Sky's feet. She turns the charm up about 5 notches. Longest eyelashes in the world batting slowly, I think her eyes became bluer or something on command, talking really nice, and doing just what he says to the tee, smiling at him like she is in love with him, manners galore, big words and intelligence spewing from her mouth to engage in his conversation....he calls her sweetheart & cutie pie, he smiles showing all his teeth. The doc says amazing things about her this and her that, has her walk up and down the halls for the nurses as if she is "on the catwalk" they ooooh and aaaah and tell her she is the bomb basically. I mean I really expected a mirror ball to descend the from the ceiling and someone to give her a scepter & cloak

The doctor gushes a bit more while finishing off THOROUGHLY and excuses himself to get some stuff.

The door shuts.

S - ...aaaaaand that's how it's done people. (grinning from ear to ear)

D - Oh Lord. We're in trouble.

May- Sky, jeez....better that than Turrets Syndrome, at least it's pleasant.

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