The soccer season is almost over. One more game and the fall school start up chaos is completed….mostly.
We finally got CB playing soccer with his shirt tucked in. It would seem that with me as his safe haven for hiding from his fear of kids running together in a cluster and being overwhelmed….it was too easy to quit, show his butt, and sit on the sidelines. No matter that he has ran with other kids in a cluster in our backyard a billion times. It wasn’t the same. D and I came to the conclusion for him to play I would need to be perceived as not being at the field.
These are the steps to getting a 4 ¾ year old child to play a sport that you paid money for and don’t want him to quit (When you have accidentally volunteered his dad to be the coach).
1. When the child sasses you about how he doesn’t want to play soccer anyway….yank his cleats off, his shin guards, and his jersey then throw them as far as you can into the yard.
2. Eat Lindor chocolate balls 3 at a time, until the bad mommy feelings inside you go far, far away.
4. Send him to the soccer field with his dad and tell him you are not able to come to his game. Plan to show up and hide behind a tree to watch him play.
5. In the last quarter, after you have watched him have a great time, score a goal, smile really big all with his idiot shirt tucked in…. reveal yourself as being there the whole time.
This is when your child will reveal to you that he saw you drive up and get out of the car. That he saw you hiding behind all of the trees. He will want to know why you didn’t just sit in a chair like all of the other moms and dads.
This is when you will need to eat some more Lindor chocolate balls 3 at a time, until the bad mommy feelings inside you go far, far away.