At the clogging studio we were in deep girl, God, and geek gab ....not necessarily in that order. When I say deep, it was almost an hour past the time we were supposed to have left the studio to head home. The class had ended around 9:00pm and our girls were still gabbing, so we continued to gab.
Hear this! Because we were totally gabbing incessantly for two hours barely stopping for breath.....in my car.....with the interior lights on the whole time.......at 10:00pm... my interior lights suddenly went dim.
I say to myself, "Self....I bet your battery is getting weak." I crank my car up, uumm, no I don't cause it won't crank.
tick, tick, tick, tick. tick,
try again
tick, tick, tick, tick
My jaw drops, Ms. P's jaw drops, our teen girls in the other vehicle show us that our jaw dropping syndrome has contaminated them also.
A- D is going to kill me....he is packing for a trip to Orlando in the morning.
Ms. P - I think I have jumper cables
A- (furry bunnies and rainbows....in terror. Cause somebody had to hook them thangs up)
Ms. P can't find them, she calls her husband, they discuss at length how to hook the cables up while I read the directions on the packaging.
Ms. P's husband is at home in one direction far from the studio and D is at home far away in the opposite direction from the studio, and we are out too late anyway....it just wasn't optimal.
Ms. P relays that Mr. P has said we should hook up red, black, black, red (or vice versa or something). We shouldn't let them touch... insert some more directions and technical stuff that I am starting to tune out because I'm afraid to hook the jab-O's up. All my life I have heard that some somebody's car blew up, somebody got venom spewed in their face and their face burned off, acid melted their clothes off and onto their skin and falalala la lala la la.
When I come to my senses Ms. P is standing in front of me with a red and a black in her hands and I with a red and black in my hands and we aren't letting them touch.....staring at each other.
The thing is we haven't even moved our vehicles yet and our vehicles are turned off.
A- Can you do this?
Ms. P - I think so...
Frick and Frack...the two willies decide first we should move the vehicles into proper position. After all the cables were touching each other in the bag right?
Move the vehicles. We are on the right track. We've done step one according to her package instructions. The vehicles are nose to nose without touching each other....
It is clear we are both leery of hooking the exploding battery acid face eating machine cables up. I feel extreme anxiety rising within as she and I are looking for exact locations at which to position these 4 pincher's.
I make the decision to call D finally.
A- (sweet) Helllllooo.
D- Where are you?
A- At the studio, my battery is dead.
D- Does Meg have cables?
A- funny thing.....yes, but Babe, I am afraid to hook them up and so is she, can you just come here and do it?
D- Really, Amy? I mean you can do this. Just put the positive on the positive and the negatasdkl lksjdji kjshdjhiuh nasjdhk and jhh yuy xernhg uyg.....
I don't hear him anymore he's speaking Japanese to me cause I am afraid.
So I put him on speaker phone for directions as I am using the cell phone for a flash light. Ms. P doesn't have a cell phone so this is it.
It is clear to him I am not listening well and about to panic which equals buggin out. D determines that I am going to do this. He determines he is not driving across the Untied States at 10pm...when I am "this close" the fix myself.
D- (on speaker phone....and BTW Ms. P is a deacons wife...not that it should matter it's just an ironic situation, that caused me to snicker a little in the after thoughts when I got home.) Put the "not the dam that beavers build" red cable on the "not the dam that beavers build" positive bolt, Amy, Now!
A & Ms. P(we laugh a little) - Easy Tiger, yer on speaker phone.
D - I don't care hook up the red cable and then do the black one, now, DO IT.
I totally hooked'em up. I was half way there. Ms. P is standing close beside with her 2 cables not touching. Like surgeons with special tools I take one from her hand and D tells me where to hook it on my car. Then the last one is placed on the black negative on my battery.
The thing is we haven't even moved our vehicles yet and our vehicles are turned off.
A- Can you do this?
Ms. P - I think so...
Frick and Frack...the two willies decide first we should move the vehicles into proper position. After all the cables were touching each other in the bag right?
Move the vehicles. We are on the right track. We've done step one according to her package instructions. The vehicles are nose to nose without touching each other....
It is clear we are both leery of hooking the exploding battery acid face eating machine cables up. I feel extreme anxiety rising within as she and I are looking for exact locations at which to position these 4 pincher's.
I make the decision to call D finally.
A- (sweet) Helllllooo.
D- Where are you?
A- At the studio, my battery is dead.
D- Does Meg have cables?
A- funny thing.....yes, but Babe, I am afraid to hook them up and so is she, can you just come here and do it?
D- Really, Amy? I mean you can do this. Just put the positive on the positive and the negatasdkl lksjdji kjshdjhiuh nasjdhk and jhh yuy xernhg uyg.....
I don't hear him anymore he's speaking Japanese to me cause I am afraid.
So I put him on speaker phone for directions as I am using the cell phone for a flash light. Ms. P doesn't have a cell phone so this is it.
It is clear to him I am not listening well and about to panic which equals buggin out. D determines that I am going to do this. He determines he is not driving across the Untied States at 10pm...when I am "this close" the fix myself.
D- (on speaker phone....and BTW Ms. P is a deacons wife...not that it should matter it's just an ironic situation, that caused me to snicker a little in the after thoughts when I got home.) Put the "not the dam that beavers build" red cable on the "not the dam that beavers build" positive bolt, Amy, Now!
A & Ms. P(we laugh a little) - Easy Tiger, yer on speaker phone.
D - I don't care hook up the red cable and then do the black one, now, DO IT.
I totally hooked'em up. I was half way there. Ms. P is standing close beside with her 2 cables not touching. Like surgeons with special tools I take one from her hand and D tells me where to hook it on my car. Then the last one is placed on the black negative on my battery.
Not the optimal place I learned cause that is the crisis point at which a battery could explode with my face next to it. When I read the directions though it said not to hook it next to this fuel line and that cable and x,y,z...so I was afraid again cause I have a Hyundai and I don't know which line is which. I recognized the windshield washer fluid and so did Ms. P and all that was plastic. One is supposed to connect the last black one to a metal bolt or something. I was supposed to look away, but I forgot....cause I was having an anxiety attack in my mind.
So the moment of truth has arrived. The connections have been made. D relays Ms. P should start her vehicle and slowly rev the engine.
A- Okay go start your car and give it some gas.
D- No.. I said slowly give it some gas (Ms. P is revving up to start a Nascar race). Tell her to stop that.
I don't listen and go get in my car and crank it right up.
......insert redneck hooting and hollering in downtown, at night, behind some random building, with no lights on and 6 girls jumping up and down totally being girls.
D- Come home. ... and be careful, the deer are out tonight.
Insert some more jumping up and down and girly screaming cause BY GOLLY!! WE ARE WOMEN HEAR US ROAR FOR PETES SAKE!!!!!!
I know D helped talk us through that and he used some man words to do it......but I swear in my mind I felt like we did it all by ourselves. I mean really, we were nervous, but we seriously overcame it and just totally did the freaking man deed.
Ms. P calls her husband and relays to him we have done the deed. He asks her if we unhooked the cables. I told her you should have told him, "No, that's their leash, the whole clan need to be on a leash."
Even Ms. P's daughter and May told us they were proud of us. We had a big, 6 female, jumpy, girly group hug put our hands in the center and "Go Ladies" on three...1, 2, 3...GO LADIES!
I smiled myself to sleep last night cause I rocked my own world for a change.
I love hanging out on Monday's with Ms. P. It makes me feel strong and mighty in every way.
I dedicate this song to you Ms. P. We "passed the test and finished the quest!"
Hope you have an awesome Tuesday!!!!!
So the moment of truth has arrived. The connections have been made. D relays Ms. P should start her vehicle and slowly rev the engine.
A- Okay go start your car and give it some gas.
D- No.. I said slowly give it some gas (Ms. P is revving up to start a Nascar race). Tell her to stop that.
I don't listen and go get in my car and crank it right up.
......insert redneck hooting and hollering in downtown, at night, behind some random building, with no lights on and 6 girls jumping up and down totally being girls.
D- Come home. ... and be careful, the deer are out tonight.
Insert some more jumping up and down and girly screaming cause BY GOLLY!! WE ARE WOMEN HEAR US ROAR FOR PETES SAKE!!!!!!
I know D helped talk us through that and he used some man words to do it......but I swear in my mind I felt like we did it all by ourselves. I mean really, we were nervous, but we seriously overcame it and just totally did the freaking man deed.
Ms. P calls her husband and relays to him we have done the deed. He asks her if we unhooked the cables. I told her you should have told him, "No, that's their leash, the whole clan need to be on a leash."
Even Ms. P's daughter and May told us they were proud of us. We had a big, 6 female, jumpy, girly group hug put our hands in the center and "Go Ladies" on three...1, 2, 3...GO LADIES!
I smiled myself to sleep last night cause I rocked my own world for a change.
I love hanging out on Monday's with Ms. P. It makes me feel strong and mighty in every way.
I dedicate this song to you Ms. P. We "passed the test and finished the quest!"
Hope you have an awesome Tuesday!!!!!
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