Hey! I'm half way to dead...ain't nobody got time for dat

"I know you don't read my memo's, so in case you are unaware, I am now a super villian."  
       - Mosely, The Suite Life

It's funny how quickly the right things in life become the wrong things....and the wrong things become the right things depending on who you are hanging out with.

As you get older you think  that wisdom through trial and error will grant you the gift of discernment.  It doesn't though.  I believe discernment is truly a gift from God that not everyone is given.  Certainly as adults we love to have the favortism of those that are well liked, cause then we feel well liked. Who doesn't want to be loved and adored by most people? If you say it doesn't matter what people think, then I believe you are a liar...dig deeper, it's there.

It's those times when folks ask of you to turn a blind eye, wink away certain behavior, or excuse it with immaturity to stay with the well liked group and to "be like everyone else" or "get on board" that we figure out who we really are on our own.

Drama starts as children, rocks hormones to the foundation as teens, annoy's the hell out of us in our 20's and 30's......and by our 40's, heck we are half way to dead.  Do we really want to spend the next 40 years of our God given lives dancing around everyones clearly seen stupidity and bad choices?

NO! I just want to be all ...REAL TALK IN YOUR FACE... and be done. By the time I speak all the nice words that coddle your ego and make you feel all furry bunnies and rainbows....I'll dang grow a freaking beard and die.

 "Ain't nobody got time for dat"

The thing is, being a Christian now is hard work for me. It shouldn't be, but it is.

Like....feeling God's grace and knowing His presence in my everyday and all day comings and goings is as natural as breathing. I'd suffocate literally without this constant hand holding session God has with me.

Dealing with stupid people = hard work......HARD WORK, intense manual labor. It's funny because these people believe in themselves and their faith is in themselves and the popularity they surround themselves with. So they "are always right." The entourage tells them so because that is what itching ears want to hear.

This is where the gift of discernment is halted. The things you once knew were right and good and planned to never leave, knowing bad things come from making rash decisions.....have now become the wrong things, and unpopular, and hard.....so they are left as thoughts in the file cabinet of the mind.....

.....to be picked back up at a later date when humbleness has forced your hand and won.......again.   Discernment will not be gained though, for alas, it is a gift.

If or when you come to the knowledge you haven't been given this gift....surround yourself with the folks who have it. Folks who love the Lord with all their heart, their soul, their strength, and their mind, so that your pathway will be much straighter.

A lot of times people who do the right things that are deemed wrong by the world or by the popular, unknowing, useful crowd. Then they are made to stand alone until (Warning REAL TALK that won't coddle an ego) life blows up in your face and you want to talk about it....just.... a little bit...... that turns into weeks of chaos of the mind.

It's pretty sad really.

I have been thinking a lot about Mulims lately because the beginning of Ramadan was today I think. They are afforded so many rights that we as Christians are not.  They are aloud to discriminate and be racist, to celebrate holidays without ridicule and are even celebrated in the media with positivity, they disrespect the role of women in 100 ways, and on and on.....

The reason people give them the respect they command as a religion is because they stand up for their god boldly and believe in what they are doing with the purpose of serving their god to be looked upon as righteous and good, we may see them as radical or crazy.....but what they are is crazy in love with their god, seeking his approval and blessings for faithfulness.....and so many times Christians just aren't.

.....and we are losing our people.....by our own self destruction. Worshipping the world and calling it changing with the times...trying to make God more hip and appealing to younger people ...

.....when the message is already appealing by itself. If we could be as radical and as crazy in love with the ONE TRUE GOD, seeking His approval and boldly standing alone for what is right....just to have Him smile upon us if for no other reason.....because His radical love makes us radical people.

I am downhearted about what our churches are becoming. Not even that you expect to find a perfect church, cause there are none, but just that you hope to find one where integrity and character mimic that of Christ consistently from the leadership down and not vice versa.

I am beginning to think America is surely not mentioned in Revelation because we are so incredibly weak in our faith and our knowledge of what God is really capable of.

There were a lot of things I used to want in a church for my family, but now I long for all Christian churches to put off what we deem as "church" and put on straight up, pure, radical love for Christ, HIS WORD, His adoration and love for one another and our neighbor as ourselves.

..............cause what we  do is play church......My heart weighs full to capacity with confusion and sickness.

Warning! REAL TALK is fixing to not coddle your ego, look away now: I am afraid to invite people to church. Scary folks, called Christians, live there and they could hurt you.

They do it all the time, and wink it away.

....after I slept off all my evil.....

I am about to get my life put back together.  I hope.

This is an attempt to catch us all up to speed for the past month. It may take a few blogs though.

Amy- I have been doing my thing driving all over Hell and creation in auto-pilot as usual for this time of year.  Six or seven days a week we are going somewhere at some point during the day.  I just try to breathe my way through each day knowing somehow it all gets done.

I am still exercising my butt off....or should I say my butt on, cause nothing is still happening....on the scale anyway.  I have taken about 10 of the 16 Power classes that I need to take at at the gym in order to get the free t-shirt that labels me as a weight lifter...sort of, in my eyes anyway.  I am surely getting more muscles.  I can see a bulge in my arms where there has never been one before in my life.  My butt actually looks round like a butt should look, instead of just fading into my thighs.  My stomach is certainly more flat than it was and my pants are fitting much better and some are even a little big or too big.

The problem here is that my scale is sabotaging me.  So I had D hide it so that I could only weigh on Sundays.   The first Sunday I weighed 189.  D was happy for me cause I was finally in the 180's.  I wasn't, cause I knew the moment I ate a piece of ice I would gain 3 pounds.  He scolded me for not enjoying that small victory. In my mind I have been this place so many times that I truly am not in the 180's till it is a consistent number.

I was not too discouraged however.  I gave myself a year to do this right and I have been sticking to it.  I rarely cheat and I exercise 5 to 6 days a week 40 minutes or more.  So this past Sunday I was excited to weigh because I ate especially well chosen foods that week.  I knew I had pushed myself doing the exercise and I was hoping for a 187 minimum.

The scale said 190.  I became so angry inside that I thought I might grow some devil horns that would surely expel a blazing fury so hot they'd burn the roof off my house.  I controlled it though the best I could.  I left the bathroom, went to make coffee and get the kids moving.........and then the evil tidal wave of death and destruction that likes to throw stuff when I am infuriated hit me.

So I marched right back to the bathroom where D was blowing his hair dry, picked up the scale, stomped back to the front door, stepped out onto my front stoop, and I launched that scale as far as I could with my new arm muscles "that weigh more than fat."  I meant for it to bounce on the ground and bust every spring and gear inside of it.  On the first bounce as it hit the ground I felt a minuscule amount of satisfaction.  I wanted to throw it one more time but I refrained cause I knew I was going to church in a couple hours and I needed to get rid of this evil in me before I could praise the Lord properly for the good things in my life.

The kids get up.  D comes out of the bathroom to eat breakfast.

D- Where's the scale?

CB & Sky - She threw it in the front yard.

M- You threw the scale in the front yard?

CB- Yeah she did!  It went way over there see?!

D- (looking out the breakfast nook window) Nice distance.

A- I threw it into the front yard. Yes I did.  If anybody brings that scale back into this house I swear bad things will happen to you.  I don't know what they are, but don't test me.

When I left for church the idiot scale was in the front yard.  When I came home from church the idiot scale was in the front yard.  When I came home from the gym the idiot scale was not in the front yard.  I was so mentally exhausted from my emotional torture of weighing that morning, only to find all my good eating and exercise had been in vain....months and months of not eating delicious morsels of goodness, shin splints that wake me up in the middle of the night, sweating, sweating, sweating, pushing, pushing, pushing....only to still weigh 190....I took a bath and went to bed at 6:30pm and didn't get up till 7:00 am the next morning.

BUT, not BUTT, but.....BUT, during the Power class at the gym I had likened myself to this fairly big woman in the class, like we were equals in weight.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym and I noticed that I didn't look her size at all.  I mean I was still bigger than I need to be of course, but I wasn't as big as I perceived myself to be by the number on the scale.  The scale doesn't change the fact that I can feel and see a muscle in my arm that has never been there before.  It doesn't change the fact that some of my pants are too big now, not all of them, but some of them.  Those are my small victories, that I should thank God for.

I am going to choose to dwell on those things.  So I can be thankful in all things to God for giving me endurance and patience to persevere when my flesh wants to quit, the spirit in me is still willing to keep my temple, in which Jesus resides, clean and healthy.

I am not going to weigh anymore.  My sister in Christ, Sarah, told me I should pick out a pair of pants I want to get into and use those as a gage for my success. I think that is the better way to go for me.....for my family too.

I found this note hanging out of my drawer where I keep my exercise wear in my closet the morning after I slept off my evil. ( you can click on this pic to get a better view if need be)

My heart overflowed and spilled all over the place with love for this oldest son of mine.

I CAN DO all things through Christ who strengthens me...... Philippians 4:13


*

Yo!.................

In the car on the way to the home school co-op  on Thursdays we listen to 102.3 in the morning.  Its one of the pop stations here.  The DJ's are pretty clean in the morning and funny.  One them is "type A" I think and with all the OCD stuff we got going on, we find some of his stuff pretty funny.  Two of the DJ's give the type A guy a hard time but, as I see it, he handles them well.  In the afternoon though, the music is pretty dang iffy. We end up having to turn the channel.


I remember when my mom would have a conniption fit  if she saw us watching MTV when it first came on. My brother and I would watch it while she was at work, after school.  That's also when rap music was getting a foot in the door. Remember "Yo! MTV Raps" with Ed Lover & Doctor Dre?  So dang funny....


Anyway, we got in the car after their classes to head on home.  The radio station was still on 102.3 and this song was playing with a pretty good beat, that sort of made you want to dance and get day rolling, so we left it there.  Feeling pretty good heading for Game Stop to return some stuff, getting hair cuts, and then going to the gym.....feeeeeeeling gooooood.


Almost through the week and heading for the weekend. thump thump thumpin, dancin in the car, Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

What?

We always listen to the words in the songs...cause OCD..... God forbid someone hears something that causes bad thoughts, has a cuss word, something that provokes bad thoughts to go wild and confessions nonstop for days.  We are all usually very careful about what goes into the minds of people in my house..........CAUSE IT WREAKS HAVOC...AAAAAAHHHHHH

This day though it took a while for us to catch up with the song cause we were all so happy to be done with classes and heading back towards the casa.

(song going on)

"Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Gimme that Mo-Moet
Gimme that Cry-Crystal
Ladies love my style, at my table gettin wild
Get them bottles poppin, we get that drip and that drop
Now give me 2 more bottles cuz you know it don’t stop

(808) Hell Yeaa
Drink it up, drink-drink it up,
When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk".......um Z & I fighting to flip the station quickly.


um, yeah, that song is......... not good.


So Z is all, "What is a G6?"


A- I think its a plane or jet or something, maybe that's why she feels "fly."


S- She said she was sipping scissors, getting DRUNK!


Oh gosh, here we go.....


A- Sky, nobody drinks scissors and gets drunk, thats retarded.  I don't know what she said, who cares about that girl anyway, she's gross.


distraction, distraction, distraction till we get focused on something else and she has forgotten it.


A couple days later Z and I were looking up some songs for our MP3's and decided to look up the words to that song.


Z- What is slizzard?


A- I don't know, look it up. (we google what is slizzard)


Urban Dictionary tells us it is a "slutty lizzard."


A- Well that makes no sense. She is getting slutty lizzard?  


We giggle a little. We redo the search and it tells us this is the urban word for getting drunk.


Z- So she is getting drunk on sizzurp. Well what is that?


So we google... What is sizzurp?


OOOOOOkay. Sizzurp is a "purple drank" (this is a link BTW if you want to read for your self) made out of cough syrup, codeine, and some fizzy beverage from the grocery store....mostly grape.


A G6 is in fact a fancy jet in the extreme price zone.


Z- Well this song is certainly full of furry bunnies and rainbows now isn't it.....


We cut up a little more, then determine that this song belongs in the bottomless trash pit along with anything Ke$ha sings.  Cause she is a complete moron who offers ZERO to young females that is positive.


So this whole song that young people listen to, sing and dance too....is about a girl/guy using a homemade illegal concoction to get drunk at the club.  She is feeling like a G6 because she is high...not fly.


I am serious, I hate to sound freaking old and all but the songs that filter through our young peoples minds are contamination at its fullest.  The gal Ke$ha tells young people she brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels and tries to get tipsy, she sings she wears ripped up stockings looking sexy with Jesus hanging on her neck, the whole time she's cussing it up during the song. (I looked this song up after seeing her on Dick Clark's New Years thing acting like, lets see....an idiot) They have actually made her music into the Kids Bop crap they sell on TV.....I am just astounded.


I know we had Guns and Roses in our time and rap music was getting popular back when my mom was conniption fitting.  But I  swear music gets more and more bold promoting things that are not good for our bodies in every way.
Music is huge in teen life.  The things we filter into them is exactly what we are going to get out of them.  Its sad to me that this is quality we are serving on platinum, diamond crusted platters for our young people to aspire too. 


There is a gaping hole of no hope in getting slizzard or brushing ones teeth with Jack Daniels.


I don't expect young people to listen only to Christian music, cause that isn't all I listen to.  I enjoy all kinds of music from Pavarotti, Hank Williams, Jr, and Dougie Fresh to Yiruma, James Taylor, & Third Day.  But gosh, it troubles me terribly the stuff so boldly flying out of the mouths of celebrities and media that bring no good to those who hear.
It seems like a more and more impossible task to compete with the world for young peoples attention for Jesus.


All the while diligent Christ lovers are looking to turn young people onto Him and they view Christianity as hypocritical, constrictive, and old school.  Constantly being bombarded by famous people telling them "Heaven seems like a boring place, maybe they can a have room there and vacation in Hell a few days a year."


That scares the crap out of me.  When I hear music like this, celebrities spouting off their careless words, and the media in general, including gaming geared towards kids who love things their parents hate......I have to pray hard for Christ to give me peace that he is in control. That His victory will be so in the end.  More specifically that I am equipped to witness properly to young people who seek my attention. So that I may fully understand what it takes for me to show them that Jesus Christ is more than "boring," He's my everything and no happiness in my body exist without him.


I have to be ready.  I hope every time I talk with a young person they seek the thing in me which is different from that which they get from the world.   


The ability to see beyond the now and aspire to the things that matter eternally.

there were those two grasshoppers on top of a mushroom......

This past Christmas we were all at the breakfast table eating cereal one morning. One of the kids noticed the Trix box had the theme of Christmas Halloween or Halloween Christmas. I hadn't noticed it before. It was absurd and it put me off severely. I haven't bought a box of Trix since.

...but May on the other hand ran with the theme in another absurd direction that was funny to the rest of us...

M (insert creepy Vincent Price type voice) - And then baby Jesus was born (insert evil villain laugh). A ghost in the night told the wise men to "fear not" and led them to the manger. There they dressed baby Jesus in a bumble bee costume and took him trick or treating.

.................................................................

One day I had served chicken and stars soup, minus the soup so it was just the stars mostly, for lunch to Cole. The kids began to discuss how he wasn't even chewing the stars, just swallowing hole mouthfuls. The discussion then led to any foods that went in your attic and came out of your basement in the same shape, just isn't good and right....like corn for example.

M- I suppose those stars will come out as stars then?

Z- yes

M imitates CB on the pot - Oh look, stars!! I get to make a wish now! I wish I could go to Dollywood (insert flushing sound) I wish Netflix was free! (flush, flush)

....and so on in this manner....

(insert When You Wish Upon a Star song)
When you wish your poop goodbye, down the toilet it will flyyyy...

B.o.B. song while staring into the toilet
"like airplanes in the night sky, like shooting stars.....I could really use a wish right now"

grunting and pushing noises.....Wow!! I got a lot of wishes this time!!

flush, flush..."It's like the Milky Way!"

"That tasted out of this world. I am so full, I feel like I ate the universe."

(Steve C. I put this one in here for you :oD )
.........................................

Doing biology one day with May, Z overhears a conversation about mushrooms being asexual....

Z- It's just awkward....mushroom sex

M- Yeah, well, just be glad you don't have to have "the mushroom sex talk." Once while down at the dock, I saw two mushrooms getting a little too heavy on the top end, if you know what I mean...

A- MAY! That's enough...

M- (serious voice) I'm just sayin....I said to them "Get a shroom , why don't ya?!".....I mean they have to consider the baby birds for petes sake.

We laugh a little..

Z- There are those penis mushrooms that sprout in our flower bed with the mulch.



A- OOOkay, that's stinkhorn, we are done with this conversation. I am uncomfortable with mushroom sex talk.

M- One time these two dragon flies landed on Sky and she was all, " Hey May, look at the two dragonflies on me...they are stuck together. Should I try to pull them apart?"

Z & A snicker a little

M- I was, "No!" then I swatted them away saying, not in front of the children!


A- May....

M- Just sayin....some bonds weren't made to be broken...


Z laughs, cause he always laughs at her jokes.

A- May.....

M- ...there were those two grasshoppers on top of a mushroom that time too. I swear it's like Sodom and Gomorrah around here.

Z still chuckling though trying not to pay attention to her.

A- May, yer done.

M- I'm just sayin....

it's good the cuss word cop doesn't have a billy stick........

This morning CB was taking a bath while I was getting Skylar ready to go for her dental appointment for sealants. He was going over things that made "Jesus cry"......or rain fall from the sky, Jesus' tears.

I relayed that I always thought that rain was Jesus overflowing his bath water.

To this Sky responded that my thinking could not be right because Jesus was perfect in every way. He wouldn't be dirty and surely not forgetful in turning off His bath water.

CB tells us when people use "t words" it makes Jesus cry.

A- Well, what are "t words?"

CB- Like cuss words or saying "Oh my God" instead of saying "gosh."

S- Cole you always say Oh my God.


CB- No I don't Sky!

S- yes you do liar

A- Sky!  Really?!

S- Well he is a liar and he does use God's name in vain.

.......backtracking in my mind a bit......

Over the holidays we were at a neighbors house for a get together.  Sky called another adult out for using a cuss word...like, damn or something.

Sky is the cuss word cop. She is violent too...if she had a billy stick it would be bad.  The cuss word cop comes from part of her OCD stuff that makes me want to pull my hair out strand by strand with a pair of tweezers some days.  She hears a cuss word then thinks bad thoughts, then spends all day to a couple of days confessing that she has been thinking about the foul word EVERY TIME IT CROSSES HER MIND! Her medication ramps up her OCD issues at times and the confessing constantly is tedious. I'll save this rant for another day.

So when the cuss word cop called out the offending adult. I was embarrassed.  I was embarrassed a little because it came across as my child is calling out an adult on their behavior. It appeared disrespectful in the whole of the situation...especially in another persons house.

But the truth be told... why do adults need to swear in front of children?....or at all?

A Methodist pastor friend of ours said to me over a couples dinner many years before both couples had children, I may have been pregnant...when haven't I been pregnant....he said, "I always felt like people used cuss words when they couldn't think of a more clever word to use."

That really stuck with me.  I have conveyed that sentiment to my own children.  With so many wonderful words to choose from, why use the bad ones?

...but alas I still use them sometimes.  I use them most when I want to put a redneck, big, fat, exclamation point on a thought that conveys I mean business.

  Really? Do I mean business or just sound like a red neck?

Like, one day I was putting on a new shower head. I was up and down the ladder cause the dang thing would not loosen. I had to keep switching tools and getting plumbers tape and this and that & oh yeah what about this tool....up and down, up and down, on and on...every time I came down the ladder Zachary and Maysie were right under my feet, for crying out loud, I was stepping all over them...Why were they UNDER MY STINKING FEET  in the shower??

So.......I am coming down the ladder and I step on Zac's feet......

A- Will you please move your ASS??


Zac and May are shocked and look at each other but did not move.  Zac and I are face to face now in the shower.

Zac looks at Maysie then at me and says - Now you apologize to Maysie. (insinuating May is his ass)

We all start laughing and forget about it....except for Sky

She reminds me at the lunch table that she heard me say a cuss word in the shower and that I could surely have picked a more clever word, and did I ask God to forgive me?


I had been having an eventful morning. One of those days when things happen that shouldn't. Each thing you fix leads to something else that needs attention immediately and before you know it 4 hours has gotten by and what really needed to be accomplished hasn't happened yet and still needs to happen...only now your eating into the schedule 4 hours which puts you going to bed 4 hours later.

So Sky called me out and though she was correct, I lost my sanity in front of all my children at the lunch table and said

A- ASS, ass, ass, ass, ASS, ASS, ass, hell, hell, hell, damn and one more time for good measure, ASS!!

.......cricket, cricket.........

Zac busted out laughing.

May is hands over her mouth speak no evil and Sky is hands over her ears hear no evil.


Cole wants to know if he can have 3 cookies cause he finished all  his lunch.

I am like, gosh where'd that come from?  It was quite therapeutic...for about a minute or so.

M- Well now, that was quite pleasant.  I'm so glad we don't go to public school to learn language like that. I feel smarter already.
...................................................

So we're back in the bathroom with Sky calling out CB's ability to become a professional liar.

A- Skylie, Babe, you know you are absolutely correct to say we shouldn't use cuss words or lie or whatever.  But when you call people out on their sin in front of others two things happen. First, they get embarrassed and second they want to look for a fault in you to call out, so they can show others you sin too. Not that they want to hurt your feelings, but they are human and don't want to feel displaced.  Is the behavior right? No, but drawing a room full of people's attention to another person's sin isn't right either.

I reminded her of the incident at the neighbors house calling out the adult and that this was not the first instance of that either, that it came across as disrespectful more than trying to keep her mind clean.  Which all of us fully understand and outsiders don't.

I reminded her of the Bible story of the women who had been found with another man, like a boyfriend, while she was married. She was going to be stoned to death for this act.  The men brought her to Jesus to see what he would say about it.  Jesus wrote some words in the sand. Some say each man with a stone, ready to cast at the woman, viewed the words written by Jesus as his own secret sin...then Jesus stood and said, "Those without sin should cast the first stones."  When the girl looked up, there was not one man there waiting to stone her, for they all knew they were sinners, the same as she.  Jesus told her to go and sin no more.

I asked Sky if she was she perfect? Would she be able to cast the first stone?  Did she have a secret sin that only she ...and maybe me & Jesus knew about?

Sky expressed that she was glad the girl was not stoned to death and was able to live.  Sky affirmed that she knew she too, was a sinner. She knew she did some things that surely made Jesus unhappy. She understood that she had been casting stones casually and carelessly for her own sake.

I was so moved by her ability to understand this concept and readily accept this correction. I thought of how good God is to give us these moments with our children to teach in them in the way they should go. To be able to trust Him to know and understand what he has to teach our children through us as parents using the wisdom He gives us in His Book.  It takes my breath away, how good and right God is everyday and never failing.

I made a New Years resolution today to try really hard not to cast a bunch of stones casually and carelessly for the sake of myself.  I can't count the times Christ wrote my sins in the sand this past year and I kicked my foot over it so I wouldn't have to read it.

I'm done with that.

Somebody's duck is out of line here...but it isn't mine......

I was on this rant about how kids appear to be generally ungrateful these days …not my kids of course……..or yours……you know other people’s kids are generally ungrateful is what I was saying.

I was discussing a particular situation to a friend of mine who happens to run another Awana program in Knoxville with her husband.  This woman completely encouraged me.  She and her Awana youth group are planning to go to some Awana shindig in St. Charles, Illinois.

She was telling me that the youth literally have to do x, y, z amount of community service in the name of the Lord or work for the church in some way to go on the trip and/or obtain church funding for the trip if they do not have the funds to go.  In other words, the church does not just hand them over the cash to go, even if they can’t afford to go.  The kids who want to go actually have to show initiative and do something for it.

This year, in order for the 13 youth who want to attend this event, to go to the shindig... they participated in the “Duck-out-of-line” at the Duck, Duck Goose consignment event in Knoxville.

This event is a huge consignment sale in an old K-Mart building.  It is a 4 or 5 day event (including a private shopping day for consignors) that supposedly rocks all consignment sales to the very foundation of the earth in these parts of town. 

I am told during this conversation that the line goes all the way around the building and then some to get inside….then to pay is another line all the way around the other side of the building.

A “Duck-out-of-line” is a person who gets paid $10 to stand in line for you and hold your spot while you shop.  So that when your shopping has been completed, you can get in line where your “duck” is.  If your duck is already past the paying counter, then guess what? NO WAITING at all! You get immediate ups and no waiting in line at all!!! All of the money earned by the people who volunteer for this (churches and local charities) get 100% of the money!

The ladies that I am conversating with tell me the Duck out of line is well worth the $10, as a wait in line to pay for merchandise can be up to an hour or more.

I decided to go and check out this consignment sale for myself after our co-op classes and as sure as a dog sniffs another dogs butt – the line to get in the place was as long a line as I had ever seen.  The Ducks out of line were busy with their clip boards signing people up.  I swear if I had been determined to go into the place I would have paid someone $20 to stand in line for me. Instead I opted to go to Old Navy and by M & Z new coats. I just tried to let go of my unearth friendly guilt for not recycling....it didn't take too long.  

I am just gonna say… Maysie's unearth friendly coat.... it’s tha dang the bomb. 

So, Ms. Awana Co-Commander ….. yeah, she took her 13 Awana youth teens down there to be Ducks out of line.

On the Wednesday preview sale for the people who are consigning clothes and other special designated folks….the teens made $1300…….towards their trips to the Awana event.  That’s $100 bucks a piece minimum for each kid towards their trip for one day of service.

 

I thought that was SUPER COOL!

The following week I see Ms. Awana Co-Commander and asked her what her finally tally was for the kids towards their trips…….Did they meet their goals?

Uummm YES!  Those teens made $4000 dollars towards their trip in 3 days’ worth of work!!!!!!!  

So they stood in line for folks repeatedly at a consignment sale at $10 bucks a pop and worked off the entire cost of their trip. 

This says a minimum of 6 things to me:

**These teens are motivated to go on a Jesus trip that is important to them.

**These teens take pride in seeing their goals completed.

**These teens are being rewarded for diligence.

**These teens parents don’t have to come up with $300 randomly when the economy is not optimal….AND during the holidays

**These teens parents must be proud of their child for doing something not fun like standing in line for three days to help pay for their trips and possibly the trips of those who could not afford to pay for the trip themselves.

**This Awana Leader did something right and good here.

I am just going to say, I love it when a child is able to stand back and look at good work completed and be amazed that they were a part of something bigger than THEMSELVES.  

As an adult I enjoy this feeling myself when I accomplish a big task. 

Being a child or a teenager would only magnify this good feeling of accomplishment because the world is so big and so much has yet to still be discovered.

It is my personal opinion that enabling a child to appreciate his/her situation more by digging in deep and hard sometimes……..is good for their self-esteem, not bad.

I am over handing out stuff to kids for free because they expect it.  This is the type of adult we are breeding, a society where they believe themselves to deserve to be given stuff that isn't theirs to take.  

Sometimes it feels to me... youth, generally speaking,  know nothing about how to be humble.  

However, I am proud of at least 13 who do.

HAVE AN OUTSTANDING TRIP AWANA TEENS!

YOU’VE EARNED IT!!!!

Now that we're men......

Last night, in my eyes, I did this totally amazing thing along side Ms. P.

At the clogging studio we were in deep girl, God, and geek gab ....not necessarily in that order. When I say deep, it was almost an hour past the time we were supposed to have left the studio to head home. The class had ended around 9:00pm and our girls were still gabbing, so we continued to gab.

Hear this! Because we were totally gabbing incessantly for two hours barely stopping for breath.....in my car.....with the interior lights on the whole time.......at 10:00pm... my interior lights suddenly went dim.

I say to myself, "Self....I bet your battery is getting weak." I crank my car up, uumm, no I don't cause it won't crank.

tick, tick, tick, tick. tick,

try again

tick, tick, tick, tick

My jaw drops, Ms. P's jaw drops, our teen girls in the other vehicle show us that our jaw dropping syndrome has contaminated them also.

A- D is going to kill me....he is packing for a trip to Orlando in the morning.

Ms. P - I think I have jumper cables

A- (furry bunnies and rainbows....in terror. Cause somebody had to hook them thangs up)

Ms. P can't find them, she calls her husband, they discuss at length how to hook the cables up while I read the directions on the packaging.

Ms. P's husband is at home in one direction far from the studio and D is at home far away in the opposite direction from the studio, and we are out too late anyway....it just wasn't optimal.

Ms. P relays that Mr. P has said we should hook up red, black, black, red (or vice versa or something). We shouldn't let them touch... insert some more directions and technical stuff that I am starting to tune out because I'm afraid to hook the jab-O's up. All my life I have heard that some somebody's car blew up, somebody got venom spewed in their face and their face burned off, acid melted their clothes off and onto their skin and falalala la lala la la.

When I come to my senses Ms. P is standing in front of me with a red and a black in her hands and I with a red and black in my hands and we aren't letting them touch.....staring at each other.

The thing is we haven't even moved our vehicles yet and our vehicles are turned off.

A- Can you do this?

Ms. P - I think so...

Frick and Frack...the two willies decide first we should move the vehicles into proper position. After all the cables were touching each other in the bag right?

Move the vehicles. We are on the right track. We've done step one according to her package instructions. The vehicles are nose to nose without touching each other....

It is clear we are both leery of hooking the exploding battery acid face eating machine cables up. I feel extreme anxiety rising within as she and I are looking for exact locations at which to position these 4 pincher's.

I make the decision to call D finally.

A- (sweet) Helllllooo.

D- Where are you?

A- At the studio, my battery is dead.

D- Does Meg have cables?

A- funny thing.....yes, but Babe, I am afraid to hook them up and so is she, can you just come here and do it?

D- Really, Amy? I mean you can do this. Just put the positive on the positive and the negatasdkl lksjdji kjshdjhiuh nasjdhk and jhh yuy xernhg uyg.....

I don't hear him anymore he's speaking Japanese to me cause I am afraid.

So I put him on speaker phone for directions as I am using the cell phone for a flash light. Ms. P doesn't have a cell phone so this is it.

It is clear to him I am not listening well and about to panic which equals buggin out. D determines that I am going to do this. He determines he is not driving across the Untied States at 10pm...when I am "this close" the fix myself.

D- (on speaker phone....and BTW Ms. P is a deacons wife...not that it should matter it's just an ironic situation, that caused me to snicker a little in the after thoughts when I got home.) Put the "not the dam that beavers build" red cable on the "not the dam that beavers build" positive bolt, Amy, Now!

A & Ms. P(we laugh a little) - Easy Tiger, yer on speaker phone.

D - I don't care hook up the red cable and then do the black one, now, DO IT.

I totally hooked'em up. I was half way there. Ms. P is standing close beside with her 2 cables not touching. Like surgeons with special tools I take one from her hand and D tells me where to hook it on my car. Then the last one is placed on the black negative on my battery.

Not the optimal place I learned cause that is the crisis point at which a battery could explode with my face next to it. When I read the directions though it said not to hook it next to this fuel line and that cable and x,y,z...so I was afraid again cause I have a Hyundai and I don't know which line is which. I recognized the windshield washer fluid and so did Ms. P and all that was plastic. One is supposed to connect the last black one to a metal bolt or something. I was supposed to look away, but I forgot....cause I was having an anxiety attack in my mind.

So the moment of truth has arrived. The connections have been made. D relays Ms. P should start her vehicle and slowly rev the engine.

A- Okay go start your car and give it some gas.

D- No.. I said slowly give it some gas (Ms. P is revving up to start a Nascar race). Tell her to stop that.

I don't listen and go get in my car and crank it right up.

......insert redneck hooting and hollering in downtown, at night, behind some random building, with no lights on and 6 girls jumping up and down totally being girls.

D- Come home. ... and be careful, the deer are out tonight.

Insert some more jumping up and down and girly screaming cause BY GOLLY!! WE ARE WOMEN HEAR US ROAR FOR PETES SAKE!!!!!!

I know D helped talk us through that and he used some man words to do it......but I swear in my mind I felt like we did it all by ourselves. I mean really, we were nervous, but we seriously overcame it and just totally did the freaking man deed.

Ms. P calls her husband and relays to him we have done the deed. He asks her if we unhooked the cables. I told her you should have told him, "No, that's their leash, the whole clan need to be on a leash."

Even Ms. P's daughter and May told us they were proud of us. We had a big, 6 female, jumpy, girly group hug put our hands in the center and "Go Ladies" on three...1, 2, 3...GO LADIES!

I smiled myself to sleep last night cause I rocked my own world for a change.

I love hanging out on Monday's with Ms. P. It makes me feel strong and mighty in every way.

I dedicate this song to you Ms. P. We "passed the test and finished the quest!"
Hope you have an awesome Tuesday!!!!!

For if you are for us......than who can be against us?!! ...........

Little Larry Lies A Lot - In case you are wondering, my pants are wet because a mouse pee'd on them."

which translates to this: I've been playing in the water hose without permission, the garage is full of water, my pants are soaking wet and that is why I am now in only my Iron Man tighty whitey's.

..............................................................

We did this family event last Sunday evening called The Amazing Race. Like the TV show The Amazing Race, we competed against other families to accomplish 6 challenges. These challenges were of course, not that difficult. To be included in the event the family had to have a child between the ages birth to 5th grade.....we so had that covered.

The Race was catered by Buddy's BBQ http://www.buddysbarbq.com and finished with a Yancy Praise Party concert.

Check her out here http://yancynotnancy.com/ She's Awesome!

I thoughoughly enjoyed her. She had the kids singing and the parents singing and her wild pink crazy girl guitar was awesome. Skylar had a ball dancing around. At one point she had 2 kids get on the stage with her and play Guitar Hero guitars and pretend to be rockin out with her.

The one little boy I swear should totally be a rock star when he grows up he rocked the fake guitar 100%. It was hilarious!!

I am definitely thinking about getting a CD for Sky at some point.

On this challenge families had to get dressed in one of three groups of stuff as quickly and crazily as possible and have a fun family photo made. I got the goggles, Sky got Bulls-Eye.

Solve the puzzle, write the verse, get your next clue.......

We did the Cha Cha and a few other dances while waiting for others to finish the race.





D attempting his version of the Charlie Brown.

Our last challenge, working on our Family Banner. I love this photo. It's my people doing some real stuff together on purpose and for fun.

Dear God,

Help me to keep my family tight and on a path that blazes in a mighty way in your name. Help us to be strong, willing, and focused Lord. For if you, Lord, are for us......then who can be against us?!!

Amen

Hey! Somebody kicked over my ant hill!!.............

Dear Blog,

I am tired of settling, it's exhausting. The choice for one to settle is their own. That's why so many folks have dreams that never come to fruition.....because they settle. I have recently determined myself to not settle. I deserve better than that in the name of Christ. He didn't ask me to live half baked.

He told me to look at the ants and how diligently they work and stay focused.

“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.” (Prov. 6:6, RSV)

You know how when you flip up a rock or a piece of wood, or just flat kick an ant hill, they all run about? Disruption in their work = chaos....within just a few minutes though they get right back at the task of life rebuilding. Kick an ant hill, in an hour it's looking pretty close to what it looked like before....... because of rebuilding.

“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. . . . She prepares her food in summer, and gathers her sustenance in harvest” (Prov. 6:6, 8).

“The ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer. . . .” (Prov. 30:25).

They do things in steps, not all at once.

While these verses speak about being lazy and procrastination, they also speak to me about rebuilding when my spiritual walk has been kicked about and scattered, disrupted. I guess I need to take a look at the ants and their diligence in getting back on track.

The ants get severely agitated at the invade of their abode and even bite sometimes when they have been messed with. The agitator quickly runs away.

.....I have so been there lately. Severely agitated at letting the temple of my soul become invaded by the distractions of the world and the thing I call church, that I have "bitten" people and even "bitten" myself. I have infected myself with my own poison trying to control things that God normally handles for me.

So I am going to start the rebuilding of my spiritual life. One piece of sand at a time, just like the ants.

More prayer time.

Better study quality.

Accessing God's grace for my iniquities and for others I need to forgive.

Not holding myself accountable for others actions, but holding steadfast to the knowledge that I don't need to chill out..... but I need to buckle down and hold fast.

Allowing myself to hear Gods guidance and not feeling guilty if it isn't the popular choice.

Having had my hill kicked over is not a normal feeling for me. Running about in desperation trying to put my spiritual house back together on my own isn't something I have done in a very long time. I can honestly say, trying to do it on my own has really sucked. I am done with that now. I won't allow myself to feel false guilt anymore. It's destroying my real ability to access the God who built my house to begin with.

While some may feel the need to run around doing whatever they please...... having their course set before them but choosing their own path as better.......accessing no guidance for fear they may have to really work...... loving the life of chaos instead the one that heaps direction and blessing...........

.......I don't feel that need to participate anymore....and I won't. It doesn't bring me joy and I don't feel the love of the Lord. I cannot live without feeling the love of the Lord, It's like my breath to stay alive.

I choose not to settle and suffocate....but to separate and be loved fully and completely for obedience to the God who has NEVER failed me.

When I have turned my back, to walk my way, He grabbed my arm sternly and said. "No! Your path is this narrow one here, get back on it."

As soon as I determined myself to do the hard thing and be face to face with my savior....I felt hope & purpose. My ability to suck in some grace became instantly easier.

I know the one who strokes my weaknesses is furious, discouraged by my choice, and will eventually turn and run away....

Hope and purpose are my first two pieces of sand......

Commando, huh? Nothin like startin'em out early.........

Blogs are coming slowly these days cause I just don't have time to sit down and do them. I have them in my head and on little snip-its of paper here and there.

Here's a few quickies....

D's family has always, since I have known them, called Sherwin-Williams Paint store, "Sharon" Williams.

.......and to his mom, yogurt....has always been "yogret."

It's their thing. D sometimes will make up his own words for stores and what not, I know what he's talking about but it would be a stretch for someone else to figure a few out.

....Cole gets a "Pinocchio" in his Happy Meal from McDonald's last night (shut up Jamie Oliver. We had a soccer game in Norris that took an hour and a half to get too, and my GPS is a joke. It dropped me off the map and at my "destination" before I got there by 8 miles. I only got there by sheer blessing from God. He allowed me to see a corner of white goal netting as I was backtracking to some other fields. Sheer luck...or blessing whichever makes you feel good about my wording, you get the drift.)

Cole struggling to say "Pinocchio" calls him "Pee Yo Kin Yo."

When He gets home at 10:30 last night from the soccer game and what not, he runs in to show Dad his "Pee Yo Kin Yo."

D- OOOHH! You got a "Pin Yoke Kin O."

.....Like father, like son.

........................................................

Z pointing out that a cell tower in Knoxville is huge and he wouldn't want to jump off of that one..........Thank goodness!

CB in the back seat in a super hillbilly voice - I'ma gone clIImb all tha way up thar an see JeeeezUS.

A & Z - (fall out laughing....unexpected)

later, same car ride.......

I turned the music station cause somebody is a little drunk & he needs somebody now the singer is telling us.

Z turns the next station cause somebody needs to tell us that he is having obscene thoughts about this girl and he doesn't want to disrespect her.

I switch the to Christian station and they are static-y, switch and guess what? Someone is drunk again and they need somebody now again, same song......switch.....a few seconds pass.......

CB- Oh! I like this song, it's my favorite song. (Little Larry Lies a lot is lying cause I have never heard it before in my life & every song is his favorite song.)

Z switches it.

CB- ZAC!!!! That's my favorite song switch it back!

Z- Cole that song has cuss words in it. Your favorite song has cuss words in it.

A- You don't want to hear cuss words do you CB?

CB- I like cuss words! Turn it back ZAC!!!

Z- Cole, no, do you think Jesus would let mom contaminate your mind with cuss words? Do you want to contaminate you mind with words that are not good??

CB- I don't know Zac. I'm just a baby!

Z- (under his breath) .....you got that right.....

..........................................

This morning I am laying on my bed before I make it up. I hear Cole stomping down the hallway, so I pretend to be asleep. I am gonna scare him.

He is in my room, staring at me, quietly...walking closer, closer, right beside my bed......I am waiting to jump......

directly in my ear - MOM! YOU WANT TO SEE MY SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I jump cause !criminy!, he has scared the crap out of me, I open my eyes and dag gone if Pee Yo Kin Yo and his big long, skinny, pokey nose isn't right almost in my eyeball about to gouge my eyeball out saying in some creepy Disney voice, "I'll never become a real boy." (It's like a horror movie where I need to scream in terror and grab my face cause Chuckie or something.)

I'm about to have a dang heart attack, I have to get up and go take an aspirin. My bed still isn't made.

.............................................

Me and May going on about how cute a bra is with these turquoise satin straps and yellow and turquoise flowers and so forth.....

Z- What?! Why do I have to hear this?!

A - Well walk away......

Z- You never have to hear boys going on in the stores about how cute their underwear are. (pretending to be a boy with a girly voice) Oh, look at these Fruit of the Looms aren't they just adorable, and the elastic waist band, oh yeeees. It's wonderful....Oh look they come in black and royal highness blue......oooohh (batting his eye lashes at us, then rolling them in disgust in the same breath) I'm outta here, I'll be in the games.

M- It's not our fault they make guys underwear ugly and boring.

...............................................................

The last night of Awana. Cole was misbehaving a bit during prayer time and I went to pop his butt and grabbed a handful of butt. Apparently when I dressed the boy for church that evening I had forgotten to put underwear on him.

I pull out his britches to be sure, and all I see is bare butt. Cole smiles his buck teeth at me over his shoulder cause he hates underwear. He knows he has gotten away with something.

This dad next to me smiles big and shakes his head at me - Commando, huh? Nothin like startin'em out early.

A - "Shut it........"